Aubrey Maturin

Absolutely brainless from Pietersen. He is batting with a guy at the other end who can actually make runs and stick around and he does that. Arsehole.

Looking good for South Africa at the moment in what has been a wonderful test match.

Yes its compelling viewing and its wonderful to see the great Jacques Kallis move closer to 300 test wickets.

It's been an absolute shambles with the exception of day one of the series. The batsman have been collectively diabolical and it has been coming for a while. The bowlers have been exceptional for years and have covered for the indifferent batting until this series. With Jimmy off song and Swann looking like he hasn't recovered his rhythm post operation this could well end up a five nil humiliation. Some of these guys need to have a long hard look at themselves.

Tupper was brilliant. He would stop a bank robbery on the way to the track, run five miles to get their in time and demolish a couple of pies before winning the 400 metres.

Would the ambulance have used its sirens?

Blackadder Fawlty Towers Still Game Phoenix Nights Frasier

As long as you don't end up board.

For anyone who wishes to read an absolutely hilarious book about cricket I recommend Penguins Stopped Play by Harry Thompson. Also Fatty batter isn't a bad read and of course any of Bumbles efforts are worth a look as are any of Aggers.

So does anyone agree that Mike Denness is the best Scotsman ever to play test cricket?

aussie Michael Bevin is a prime example of someone who was perfect in the short format but didn't have the technique for tests. I had the misfortune to live in Australia for a bit when they were dominating so I'm loving it seeing them struggle. As for Shane Warne's comments that really is unbelievable coming from a total cock like him. This is the guy that was banned from cricket for being a drug cheat, binned as vice captain of his country for sending explicit text messages to a nurse, fought with a bunch of youths who pictured him smoking when he had signed a six figure deal to stop smoking with a leading smoking cessation company, was heavily involved and fined in the bookmaker scandal, was recently almost involved in a brawl in a T20 match plus all the other shit he has got up to over the years. Shane Warne is a total c**t of a man and for him to describe anyone's behaviour as crass and arrogant shows a complete lack of insight into his own behaviour over the last 20 years. The ultimate bad loser and I hope he continues to seethe for years to come the arrogant, botoxed, hair transplanted, teeth whitened bawbag.

Absolutely spot on. When I saw the line up yesterday it was a case of sheer disbelief. I have no idea the rational behind it and it's proved to be bloody disastrous. It's meant to be the team getting pumped 3-0 that makes desperate changes. Woakes has never improved on what we was a couple of years ago and Kerrigan is nowhere near ready - he made Peter Such look like Derek Underwood. Tremlett took all five wickets that fell today and I can't believe they didn't let him or Finn loose in this test. So much for building up momentum ahead of the winter. The selectors deserve a boot in the balls for this shambles.

Why, because unlike you I find it deplorable to celebrate the death of someone just because they're a soldier?

I think Panesar's off field behaviour will possibly do for him long term. Can't see him coming back unless he get's himself sorted out.

You should have told him your joke about lions only being in Kenya.

A couple of thoroughly disgusting posts. Despicable.

You can also argue that Bresnan's knock was only required due to the fact that England don't actually have a proper third seamer therefore allowing the Aussies more runs than they should have gotten.

This is the problem we have been saying all along about the lack of a fourth seamer. Bresnan is not good enough to be the first change bowler and even though Finn has been out of form is nowhere near as threatening as him or Tremlett or even Onions. The England selectors have got themselves in a real muddle over the number six batsman and seamer selection for a bit of a while now and it's coming back to bite them in the arse this time around. Swann has just taken Rogers and needs to hit top form now to give England a chance of victory. Eta - Bresnan has taken just 13 wickets in his last 8 test matches.

Can Broad bowl well two days in a row and will cook regret taking the new ball if the tail wags? I would have taken it. A vital period coming up.

I agree with what you say and on the final point Bresnan is not good enough to be third seamer. Unfortunately England seen to want his batting ability in the side due to the awfulness of Bairstow who just isn't test class. Ideally Taylor should be at six instead of Bairstow and big Tremlett in for Bresnan. My argument is with Prior at seven and Broad at eight we don't need actually need Bresnan for his batting, and as a bowler he just doesn't have it. The England selectors have got themselves in a right muddle over the positions of number six and the third seamer role and weakening the attack for the extra twenty runs Bresnan might give you is ludicrous.

Some shambolic batting from England. Too collapse from 107-1 to 198-8 is pathetic. Some baws need booted in that dressing room.

Maybe it finally is. It has been rammed down the public's throat since it's inception and hopefully it only has a short shelf life. The problem is that it is so predictable and quite frankly for me it's not even real cricket. It's a gimmick. Hopefully it will soon lose it's appeal in Asia then we can get back to real cricket. Unfortunately they do seem to love it in Asia especially.

As much as I have tried I just cannot get into 20/20. For a traditionalist for me nothing beats five hard days of test match cricket, followed by some distance by a decent ODI. For me 20/20 is the Tennents sixes of cricket. It's enjoyable but it's not the real thing.

Agreed. If you look at this Aussie team compared to ten years ago then only Michael Clarke would feature. This is the worst Aussie outfit I can remember and I love it.

I was surprised Warne announced his retirement today, was half expecting him to offer to play test cricket again. Johnston had a reasonable Australian summer with the ball ( for him) but he is so inconsistent these days and has been bowling like a drain when up against decent opposition