audioslave

^^^^Jumped out a plane after getting groomed on Jambos Kickback

Tinder is the mobile dating app for those who want to be elbow deep in a stranger within 6 hours of installing it.

Or folk could just stand by the comments they've made. Live and die by the sword and all that.

Any time I call someone a mongo, it's not because my phone was hacked, it was because the person was a mongo.

I dont think it'll get any better on Twitter for me after my Terry Butcher tweet

It's a nap she's an absolute rotter in the flesh. I'd imagine from the chest down it's all "fun house mirror" looking. Now, tell us about riding her.

Scotzine and thefootyblognet are two of the biggest fucking whoppers on Twitter

One and the same man. If I could post the turtles picture on here the gig would have been up months ago.

I had some mates with me at the time I did it so we had a Dutch-Rudder-Off

Aye he's just a laddie who doesn't know any better. Sometimes you can see he's playing up to it but he's well worth a follow for the brain farts he puts out there. Hoping my mate gets his finger out and does Craig Kringle again this year. A Twitter sensation.

Craig Pringle is a legitimate spongo. He tweeted Gabrial Marcotti once "can I get a follow I want to be journalism" I WANT TO BE JOURNALISM! TO GABRIEL MARCOTTI! He's Twitter gold. No need to interact with him or try and take the piss, he's just 100% unintentional comedy gold.

I win internet http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4669548/Jambo-scores-with-a-porn-babe.html

Looks like my Lolly Badcock 1-5 picture is going to be in a news paper tomorrow. YAS!

Some might say I tweet that picture too often. I say I don't tweet it often enough.

I got a tart from Babestation to do the 1-5 gesture. Pic and transcript of our chat is on my Twitter

Our "mini subcrawl" on Friday was a good laugh - from Buchanan Street to Partick. How you lot managed all 15 stops is amazing to me and should see you getting a fucking knighthood. I was like a burst baw after the last stop. Although a man of my size mixing drinks was never going to do me any favours.

Off on the "mini" sub crawl tonight from work - Buchanan Street to Partick. Hopefully it goes alright and can then rope folk into doing the whole thing.

I don't know if there will ever be another thread where I can discuss my old neighbour, so I'm punting his antics in here. He wasn't evil, he was just fucking mental. His name was Kamal. A Lebonese national who'd basically rammed so much cocaine up his beak before getting militant with th Muslim faith, his brain had been fried to the size of a fucking squirrels arsehole. Here's some personal Kamal favourites; Appearing at my window (it was a ground floor flat) at about 4am in the morning, just after I'd got rid of everyone after a party to offer me a digital copy of the Quran, which he had on a wee USB stick. One evening when I was having a party, he appeared out his window whilst I was on the phone on the street and started throwing wee banana's at me. Not violently but just because he thought I might be hungry. For wee bananas... Stopping me at my door to tell me that the Jews invented the myth of dinosaurs and that they controlled the world - he'd obviously watched Jursassic Park whilst out his box and got the wrong end of things. Going out on his bike, at night, wearing sun glasses. Asking me to see if a radiator in his flat was leaking and putting a cushion over a sword to hide it. And I don't mean a wee sword. I mean a "chop off several heads in a oner" sized sword. Offering to wash my windows, with a broom. No water, just a broom. He was a great lad.

What's the options for boozers at Cowcaddens? It's the only one I don't know any of the boozers. Wasn't McIntosh's where the boy got shot a couple of years back?!

Wee bump on this - trying to organise a sub crawl with work. Are there any "rules" to the crawl apart from getting mangled obviously?

It's infinitely cheaper at Glasgow Green and we've a couple of bodies with the leisure cards too so we get a few extra quid off. The place up at Townhead is fucking ridiculously expensive by comparison. Not sure how to best keep a track of things across two forums but we can cross that bridge a bit later. Have floated the idea out on JKB as well but I don't see anyone having a problem with it. Think what we need from both sides is a definitive list of people who can and would play and the days/times that are most preferable then go with whatever is the most popular option.

Would you be interested in pulling resources with the Jambos Kickback 5s that I used to organise? Similar situation in that we always seemed to struggle for numbers but could pull things together and get a decent 6/7 a side going at Glasgow Green?

If someone can give us a lift there and back from the west end that'd be magic.

If someone can give us a lift there and back then I can play.

I love getting some random Rangers whopper trying to pull me up for my tweets about their club. Sadly none of them have the brain capacity to microwave a ready meal, let alone debate a point sensibly. Arseholes.