LiamDFC

Hearing we've approached GGH with a player/manager role. If that is true, he would certainly be the coolest manager in world football. I laughed at first, but maybe it isn't such a silly idea considering the other candidates being suggested. Please come home, Gary. We love and miss you. Thank you.

All very good points. Now that I've had a bit of time to calm down after our latest capitulation, here are my thoughts. Hartley has gone from being one of the most promising young managers in the country to channeling the type of stubborn, unimaginative dinosaur we've been plagued with for decades. His formations in the second half of this season are as bad as I've seen as a Dundee fan — the players are indeed poor but they could certainly be organised in a way to grind out results. The Rangers and Motherwell games (and possibly the St Johnstone game that followed those) are proof that there is something lurking beneath the surface of this squad, but he seems utterly incapable of drawing it out. I think his biggest crime, IMO, has been his failure to recruit a single effective winger since taking over from Bomber. This creates pressure all over the park; absolutely no width and it means the midfield and strikers never have an out ball to help them create some space up top. When he came in, Hartley went out of his way to drop guys like Nicky Riley (who was of course limited, but at least had excellent hair) and never replaced them. The resulting shambles was part of the reason we've currently got so many people out of position. Take Mark O'Hara for example. Started life as a center half. Came to Dundee to play defensive midfield/central midfield. Has ended up an auxiliary striker and a winger at different points of the season, to absolutely no prevail. It's just madness. If you ask me, the formation hasn't reflected the available squad (natural positions or skills) since the St Mirren game IMO. Cammy Kerr is another example here; player of the season (admittedly out of a terrible bunch), switched to a LM/LWB (sorry, he wasn't playing as a LB on Saturday, for those that have said that, Holt was still covering that so that Cammy could stay further forward). Utterly bizarre behaviour. We're now in a very similar situation to that of Bombers final months. A squad full of terrible, unmotivated central midfielders that are simply not skilled or flexible enough to fill in other positions. Couple that with a system that clearly doesn't suit them and we are staring relegation right in the face. He's lost the plot and needs sacked right now. Thank you.

Heard he's actually the top earner at the club and is getting close to double Cammys wage. He's also on a two year deal. Thanks for that, Hartley.

Crowd was 6k apparently, Coxy was half empty so I assume many of the folk that sit there simply took their kids to the other stand... slightly more than we'd usually get against Hamilton IMO. Eta I'd just like to clarify I'm a season ticket holder in the Derry. I do not condone people sitting in the Bobby Cox. Thank you.

He won't walk. We'll have to sack or murder him. Those are our choices. Eta: I do not condone actual murder. Thank you.

Hartley's squad, tactics and direction of travel. Time for change, he's had his chance.

Oh dear. Morten Wieghorst; really? Not much of a career as a manager... what's to say he's be remotely good enough for us at this stage? I've honestly no idea why so many Dundee fans look back at players like Morten and assume he'll make a great manager, just because he played for us. Heard the same thing about Dariusz pre-Hartley... hasn't even been involved in football for years, let alone managed a club. And as for Dario and Ivano, get them as far away from the club as possible IMO. We should be looking forward, not back. Just my tuppence worth. Thank you.

Lets play a game. The task is to name as many 'utterly pointless signings by Paul Hartley' as possible. The prize is absolutely nothing other than a feeling of panic and, possibly, despair. I'll get us started; Ricardo Calder Yordi Teijsse Marc Klok Nicky Low Dylan Carreiro Rhys Healey Phil Roberts Michael Duffy Daryll Meggatt Danny Williams — Possibly a little harsh on Nicky Low as his problem was mostly injuries. The rest were completely, utterly useless and no-where near good enough for this level. You might argue Simon Ferry etc, but guys like that did play 20 odd games so I'd suggest less than 5-10 games in their time here being the key marker of standard. Am I missing anyone obvious? ETA: Stick Mitchell in the goals and you've got yourself a starting 11 there. Where none of them start. Ever. Thank you.

Marc Klok has left the club by mutual consent. Cannot for the life of me understand how Hartley has got away with spunking money on fucking flops like this. Link here. Thank you.

Perhaps RandomGuy and Granny Danger could go on First Dates, or some other televised cultural cesspit designed for the pathetic that roam among us... it would give them something meaningful to do and they might find companionship. Like a mathematical equation, they'd probably just cancel each other out though. Actually, the more I think about it, I'd quite like to see a P&B version of Big Brother. Thank you.

Don't flatter him. That yodeling simpleton would struggle with the premise of Connect Four, never mind chess. Just ignore his pseudo-intellectual splutterings — he hasn't the first clue what he's talking about. I actually feel a bit sorry for him, he's a gobshite of the highest order but is obviously quite lonely. Understandably. Thank you.

I can answer this one. John Nelms has recently applied for Full Citizenship of the People's Republic of Dundee. He's just waiting on Rab Douglas to headbutt his Stamp of Approval, then any confusion/duplications will be removed. Thank you.

Calm down lads, this won't ever happen because we're too sensible, too avant-garde and, most importantly, we're too Dundonian. We've saved this club twice — we're not about to dilute the family blood-line by welcoming in those tangerine-clad tramps from the Outer Anguses. ETA: F*cking pagan, sunburnt teuchters that they are. Thank you

Personally, I'd go with 'FC Teckletoon'. It feels both international and local at the same time. Or Dundee East Rover-Ranger-Yankee FC. DERRY FC for short. Thank you.

I have nothing but hate for Tom Hateley. I would skin him alive and make a belt out of him. Even then, it would probably be a shite belt. Arrogant, popstar, wannabe footballer c**t that he is. Thank you. ETA: It's MorTEN. Thank you.

Nope, wrong again. As usual, you're trying very, very hard to wind people up and failing miserably. What Dundee fans are in 'absolute tatters'? The only thing more embarrassing than our performance is your constant sniveling approach to trolling. We all (largely) expected to get thumped tonight, we've been awful all season. There are very few Dundee fans that would disagree with this. You, above all, should know this as you spend so much time in here. I think we're all being pretty level headed considering the nature of the defeat — people have been calling for Hartley to get the sack since 5-6 games into the season so this isn't new information. Again, you know this though. No-one reacts to your pish, because you are a boring, sad human that contributes absolutely nothing. Thank you.

Did you actually just spend your Friday night trawling back 4 years of Dundee threads to find those quotes? Sad c**t.

The Championship forum is more fun anyway. Thank you.

And Harkins. Thank you.

I didn't know Vladimir Putin played for the Hibees?

Klos was better than Goram. Both very good keepers, both with a 'cult' following, but Klos was an rounder IMO. Both ****, though. Thank you.

I agree — he seems a bit simple. Seems it's not just him, either; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39278092 Thank you.

You have a very good point and are well within your rights. It's important that we are regularly reminded of just how fucking shite Dundee United are. Especially since we relegated them at Dens Park on the 2nd of May 2016. Thank you.

Not to be harsh, but I've literally never heard of Martyn Fotheringham, so I guess it will be a youth squad. As Den Spark says, will probably be used to give a few Danny Williams style plays a run out. I'd actually like Fais to play, get a few goals under his belt this week then start him against Aberdeen.

It's a great deal and something we should certainly be applauding. I only wish they'd do this for a more interesting game against the likes of Aberdeen or Hearts — I think that would be a fairer test to see if it works or not; try get Dens to a sell-out. Those that would go regularly would probably go to those games, pay less and find it easier to hook friends/family with the cheaper ticket. Conversely, many regulars might be tempted to avoid watching us play one of the worst teams in the league, albeit at a reduced cost. I suspect our crowd for the Hamilton game will be marginally higher, but roughly the same as when we played them earlier in the season, which was 5,287. Out of interest, how many fans would need to turn up for us to consider this a success (in terms of getting extra bums on seats)? Above our average gate (which is apparently 6,181 this season)? Or simply more that came to the first game when we played them? ETA: Assuming I'm right, in both scenarios (after factoring season ticket holders), we'll definitely lose money on this. We'd need to roughly double the amount of pay-at-the-ticket-office (not gate) attendance to break even, which I really doubt we'll do. Feels more like a cheap trick to try convince folk to come to a low-attendance game that, if we're being brutally honest, is against a shite, uninteresting team with a terrible away support where we'll likely put in another lukewarm performance ourselves. It's still a nice idea, but I don't think it will make very much different either way. Thank you.