Herman Hessian
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Posts posted by Herman Hessian
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12 hours ago, coprolite said:
How about a film where a man transforms into a sex toy?
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that's not the Thunderbirds episode featuring Brains and The Mole as I remember it, to be fair...
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On 30/05/2020 at 10:00, Swarley said:On 30/05/2020 at 09:22, Boghead ranter said:Nip Slip?
I thought so too.
sorry chaps, but I don't think so - i reckon it's another finger and knuckle - unless she has prematurely aged nipples that are like those big sultanas you can get...
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16 hours ago, Empty It said:16 hours ago, mathematics said:I’ve come to realise that noise-cancelling earphones and heavy metal* makes for a more enjoyable supermarket experience. No screaming kids, no shitty jingles, no shite chat, just your own little world.
* other (inferior) genres existNothing says remember the bread and milk like Angel of Death by Slayer.
you could have a fairly decent shopping list, fully prompted by a death metal playlist (bit meat-heavy, but you could always tack 'vegetable man' by pink floyd on the end):
chopped in half (obituary) - pork chops
blinded by fear (at the gates) - domestic bleach
charred remains (autopsy) - barbecue stuff
maze of torment (morbid angel) - cornflakes
kill your mother, rape your dog (dying fetus) - hot dogs
i cum blood (cannibal corpse) black pudding
rapture (morbid angel) - angel delight
out of the body (pestilence) - body mist deodorant
from womb to waste (dying fetus) - bin liners
second skin (dying fetus) - pickled onions
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On 30/05/2020 at 14:38, bennett said:
Neapolitan.
decent shout if you're talking about the properly prepared pistachio, vanilla and cherry configuration
if one of your preferred tre colori is chocolate, however, you're better off doing us all a favour, ignoring charlie's advice and going and pulling a kettle-full of scalding water off the table and on to your face....
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1 hour ago, MixuFruit said:
I've watched enough House to know this isn't good for someone's health:
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been a dull summer so far at ours on the bird front; sat out for a couple of hours yesterday just watching what was on the feeders, and the best i can manage is a delinquent family of starlings who descend en masse and cause a scene, and a whole pile of young blue tits (collectively referred to 'the fledgetits' by someone juvenile); random great tit has gatecrashed the party too
all this activity, for the most part, is observed with malicious intent by the murderous beast from her lair in the fuhrer bunker (have dug out the footings for a new porch that'll be built at some point, which has provided the cover)
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30 minutes ago, Zetterlund said:
My wife is a hairdresser.
how does the MR2 handle ?
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2 hours ago, Turkmenbashi said:
oh my word that's a good choice - a dry-hopped beer, very much like Armada from Harvey's, which can be spectacular - the (entirely intentional) slight cloudiness is making me moist - only thing wrong with that stuff is the small bottles - Armada is available on draught....
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not 100% sure that this was the work of The Flooze or not, but she was strutting about looking pleased with herself this morning, so the finger of suspicion is pointing very firmly in her direction:
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15 minutes ago, red23 said:
ramming our hand
must....resist....insert....other......media.....existing....attachment.....
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oh Doctor - will you stop messing about with all that plumbing, darling - dinner's ready...
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a pressed hand - well, in that case it'll be a different matter entirely - why on earth didn't you say that you were a travelling man ?
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41 minutes ago, Doctor said:
my next door neighbour had his pipe burst
more helpfully - that leaky pipe that you've fixed with putty, get yerself a roll of PTFA tape, unscrew the joint, wrap it round the thread and do it up again - your temporary fix will become permanent
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12 minutes ago, magic sign said:
I rarely post on here, but this post. Wow just wow. I don't pretend to have the answer you seek, but suggest listening to this for a starting point.
https://amp.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/matt-frei/blck-lives-matter-how-individuals-can-fight-racism/?__twitter_impression=truecurrent debate notwithstanding - have a greenie for your avatar
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1 hour ago, Lofarl said:
That Harry Dunn case is probably the best thing that’s happened to Andrew.
the royal family benefiting from a car accident for which no-one is held to account - hah - what compete tosh !
it's not as if they have any sort of previous for that sort of thing....
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On 04/06/2020 at 12:43, stumigoo said:
And as others have pointed out, they’ve still got ‘Visit Rwanda’ on their sleeve. Good job there hasn’t been a horrific and bloody genocide in Rwanda, eh?
as if the place hasn't suffered enough - an inundation of fucking arsenal fans going there on holiday !
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Balotelli's contract cancelled by Brescia after his failure to turn up for training since teams started working towards the resumption; should've had another two years at the Rigamonti after this season (hypothetically anyway - would no doubt have exercised a release clause following their inevitable relegation); Cellino now saying that the signing was a mistake from day one...
ETA - turned up for training today (Tuesday) but refused admission to the club facility and, basically, told to piss off...
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can't abide anything else that she's done, but if ever a song was crying out to be twice as long as its actual duration, and continue to get increasingly out of order until it reaches a screaming, mental crescendo, this is it...
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12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:
Good call on not getting a wee yappy dog. Hate those things. Little rats like you say and they tend to be annoying fucks who yelp all the time. Pish dogs.
if a dog's the right size to fit in a microwave, that's where it belongs
otherwise - something to go for a jog with - a brindled lurcher, wonderful creatures...
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3 hours ago, Zen Archer Esq. said:
new kidneys
pyramid stage, '94, between the prodigy and boo radleys...
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15 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:
Where’s the Heads Gone thread? I’m desperate to let @Herman Hessian know that I don’t have anything up my arse.
thanks for your consideration - mind you keep me informed if the situation changes, please
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real departure for me of late (not usually a fan of light ales) as a bloke at work who i've been helping out bought me a "mini cask" of Hopback Summer Lightning; struck it in the fridge on a whim and hafta say that drawing off a pint in to a bottle that's been chilled in the freezer over the course of these last few blazing hot days has been a near-religious experience - just gorgeous - very highly recommended indeed
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14 minutes ago, Duszek said:
The train driver’s view of the ride from Bergen to Oslo is a pretty chîlled out watch if you have seven hours to spare. No dialogue apart from the conductor saying « next stop, Kjallstropping » every 45 minutes or so.
these are pretty good, but if you want proper a proper "slow travel" experience, navigate across canada using google streetmaps - it'll take you a while (so I'm told by a very dull friend)
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4 hours ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:
Is it not based on an algorithm of what you google.
I get stuff like this rather than Megan and Harry.
COVID-19 thread/compulsory masks on public transport discussion for this pish....
ETA - awww cock - with apologies to Pozbaird for not reading what had already been posted
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Madeleine Mccann Missing Girl
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
GPWM - I hear that funkypigeon.com do a nice line in "hello - we're a foreign law enforcement agency - your child is dead..." notifications, a much more empathetic and nuanced way to break bad news...
if they've had access to evidence files from different forces, they can use a picture of a favourite toy or a birthday party scene for that personal touch - "cuddle cat says 'where's maddie' - shall we tell him ?" - that sort of thing