Half A Person

Women at work and, specificaly, making fucking mountains out of molehills. I've had to suspend someone for what is basically a pile of pish just because someone went in a huff. And I missd playing football today because there was no-one to do her shift. These kind of things always involve women. It's sexist but it's true.

Eventually finished 'Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell', a HUUUGE book by Susanna Clarke. It's an exellent read, though. It's set in the early 19th century and the writing is pretty much a pastiche of the style then. It contains many and extensive footnotes most alluding to magical reference books and bographies which exist only in the author's imagination. The actual plot is fairly convoluted, but basically it's about two 'practical magicians who aim to bring back practical magic to England. It involves fairies and dark moors and huge mansions, but it's not one of these geeky fantasy novels, although, it is set in an 'alternative' history eg Wellington wins a few battles thanks to Strange's magic. It really is a unique kind of book. Don't be put off by the fairies and magic and stuff - it's not some geeky Warhammer shit. It's all the more amazing when you consider it's Sussana Clarke's debut novel. clicke her for more info and a few tasters

Watched Crash last night...I'd seen it before and thought it was excellent, but often films you thought were superb on first viewing disappoint after a second look. However, this film is still , in my view fantastic and well worth seeing again even so soon after I watched it initially. The soundtrack is brilliant, the acting is superb from everyone (if not a little overwrought) and if you've never seen it before it's worth watching for one of the all-time brilliant scenes where a pissed off Persian seeks revenge against a locksmith who he thinks has wronged him. 10/10

I thought the film lookedstunning, beautiful even, and the performances were great, but it was excruciatingly boring.

Hmm that sounds too sensible. I'd prefer to take my chances with the George Michael option.

Errr...wait for someone else to come in? Hopefully George Michael will be in the area so you won't have to wait too long before he feels like some 'Fastlove'. Dart out as he enters. Or use your elbows in that awkward way like when you've got loads of shopping and you're trying to open your front door and your keys are in your mouth and you're really really hoping no-one is watching you because you're dropping stuff all over the place. Or is that just me that does that?

You turn the taps on with your bare hands (they're already dirty) and then wash them using soap . Leave the tap running and then go to dry your hands using a paper towel. Don't discard the paper towel; instead use it to turn off the tap, ensuring you don't touch the tap with your bare hands. Kick the toilet door open to leave.

Never saw this before broxy highlighted it. We used to have a woman EXACTLY like this (well, except not Jamaican) that came into the Pizza Hut in Falkirk High Street. She would never buy anything, but she would stay for ages just sitting in the takeaway area and all she would ask for was a cup of pepsi with added sugar (because obviously it's not sweet enough). Like the woman above she would spend ages in the toilets, too. We never saw much harm in her coming, she never caused much bother (so we thought). But eventually the manager at thetime had to ask her to leave and not come back because a few customers had complained about her lifting up her skirt and scratching her fanny. Harsh, I thought.

I watched two classics last night: Speed 10/10 Classic action movie. Just a thrilling, no brainer guy movie, almost on a par (but not quite) with Die Hard. Jaws 10/10 Not seen it for ages and it was good to remind me just how good it actually is. Seen them both loads of times before, but what a great nights TV!

In The Line Of Fire 8/10 I rewatched this as it was on the tv last night and remembered it as a great film. It was still excellent, but I was surprised at how dated both the plot and 'look' of the film were. Plenty of cliche, too. The bit where Clint's family-man partner who's just been talked out of leaving gets shot wasn't exactly a shocker.

Don't you just hate when that happens!

It's my sister's birthday today and we sent her a card and a voucher-card thingy from Topshop. We sent them in separate envelopes. She texted me today to say thanks for the card, but why did you send an empty envelope as well? Some thieving postal worker's clearly just nicked the vouchers and then had the audacity to actually still send the envelope! Cheeky c**t!

Umbrellas are a nonsense. Just put your hood up!

Ferris Bueller's Day Off 10/10 Classic. Utter classic then Arlington Rd. 6/10 I had seen it before, but it was on Film4 last night. Worse than I remember it. Jeff bridges over-wraught acting grates and it's pretty obvious, dull fare. Maybe because i had seen it before, right enough, but it just didn't have the same impact. decent enough, but not brilliant.

Zoolander is second only to Anchorman for hilarity! Brint: Or the way Hansel combs his hair? Meekus: Or like, doesn't, it's like, ex-squeeze me, but have you ever heard of styling gel? Brint: I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model. Meekus: Uh, earth to Brint, I was making a joke. Brint: Uh, Earth to Meekus, duh, okay I knew that! Meekus: Uh earth to Brint, I'm not so sure you did cuz you were all 'well I'm sure he's heard of styling gel' like you DIDN'T know it was a joke! Brint: I knew it was a joke Meekus, I just didn't get it right away! Meekus: Earth to Brint... Derek Zoolander: GUYS! Can we stop with the Earth tos!

Everytime time bluetooner posts, I think he's asking some kind of elaborate riddle.

R.E. M. - Driver 8

Aye? I came on mine

Cheers folks!

The pages of my Playboys are pretty tacky now.

The Beta Band - Dr. Baker

Yeah, thought it was very good,. Very well directed and acted with great characterization, but there wasn't a great deal of story. I know it's more about the change in the family dynamic perceptions of personality and blah blah blah, but it just seemd a bit abrupt in parts.

Not very intently, it seems.