Belslide

Old TV series; are you also noticing the cliffhangers can look a bit outdated due to coastal erosion?

There's no need for anyone to ever be poor; just go to the bookies and bet on poverty happening.

#changeoneletterfilms 24 dour party people - amazing the party even lasted that long.

It's good only footballers have Wags. 'Wiggins' Wag' would just sound stupid.

The first thing many people who want to throw a sickie during the Olympics need to do is to find a job.

"See you when the sun shines!!!": Scottish greeting to someone you don't like.

To the people who say Stephen Gough is basically flashing at everyone; do you also say the dinosaurs are currently having a flashback?

They could make a film about my life... technically speaking.

Harsh! Got punched in the face at Rangers ticket office after only managing two syllables of "...Sell tickets for the next Rangers game?"

I walked into a VIP room... all walls were hung with mirrors... I struck a pose... No, don't wake me up, please!

I'm pretty unimpressed by the rise in the amount of rape gangs in Scotland, especially the ones committed by midges...

#Onmygravestone Dead... how poignant!

Old age; doing the same thing over and over again, without realising you've just done it seconds ago. That's how all night sex happens.

#CheatingIsOkayIf you really need to smuggle a note into bed to remember all the favourite positions of your partner.

"Stephen Gough, naked rambler, free again." "High streets worried about shifting clothing." Oh c'mon; his influence isn't THAT big!