Shotgun
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Posts posted by Shotgun
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In fairness to them, it's the only route to higher education for a lot of folks. Met a lot of people who you'd never expect to have been in the armed forces in a million years, and they only were to try and avoid the minimum wage, zero healthcare nightmare (unsuccessfully, in some cases). That, and the recruiters go all out to minimise the potential chances of being involved in armed conflict. Silly, I know, but it's amazing what desperate folk will rationalise to themselves.
All true. That and the fact that for too many people the options are drugs, jail, drugs and jail or the military. I just find it funny-sad that there are people who joined something called "The army" and didn't realise what it is armies do.
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BigFatTabbyDave, on 10 Nov 2014 - 12:44, said:
Last time I was unemployed, you could always tell the Army jobs at the Jobcentre because they were the only ones that sounded decent, and they made absolutely no reference to the Armed Forces whatsoever.
Around the time GW Bush invaded Iraq, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth over here from the numpties who'd joined the US Military for the promise of glamour and benefits but genuinely hadn't realised they might have to...you know...go to war and stuff.0 -
To be fair - the intent of drivel like that isn't so men can read it and think "Ahah! So that's how I should behave." It's so women can read it and think "Why doesn't MY man behave like that. b*****d."
I'd be very surprised if that was really written by a man.
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That is some fabricated shite designed for the sole purpose of getting likes off every female on facebook.
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- BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY.
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
I've been trying this line on the burdz on nights out, it almost never works.
I've got the strangest urge to go out and read a Barbara Cartland novel now.
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Just seen my first Christmas ad on television. November the fucking 4th. We're in the USA, which means we have a major holiday coming up in 3 weeks and THEN another month until Christmas. Sigh.
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It's election day here in the USA so my feed has been filled with self-righteous "I've voted - have you?" type fuckwittery. Apparently a lot of people still believe this is the only country on earth where people are allowed to vote.
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That is both hilarious and terrifying in equal measure. Are these people for real?
"He loves God and thinks Muslims are crazy if they don't like Western ways".
Terrible parenting.
You have to admire an 8-year old who is so familiar with Islamic culture and values that he's able to compare them to his extensive life-experience in the West and therefore draw such a conclusion. He's obviously lived and worked in a number of different countries and is therefore in a position to make an objective comparison.
Or more likely, he's never even seen a Muslim, much less had a conversation with one.
So when Mummy states" He boils everything down to the real issue" she means "He repeats whatever ignorant pig-shit his Daddy and I tell him."
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Something tells me his Ma was no stranger at the off-license while she was up the duff.
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We've talked before on this thread about the unhealthy habit some women have of talking about their toddler sons as if they were their boyfriends. Going on 'dates', referring to them as 'my little man', talking about how handsome they are and otherwise acting as if they’re in a sexual relationship with them. A friend forwarded me this drivel which appeared on his own page as he thought I'd get a kick out of it.
"My son is a tank he was like a silver back gorilla in diapers. He would walk by the counter and pull himself up with one arm and sit on the counter. He hasnt ever fit in slims. I have a heck of a time finding huskies for him and he usually wears shorts because his length and girth dont fit the norm. He is a black belt at 8 years old, a peacemaker among his friends and a kid with dyslexia. Still at the end of the day I will be the best person I can be if I am more like him. He is a man of few words (lol dosent get that from me huh?) and his daddy is his idol. He loves God and thinks Muslims are crazy if they don't like Western ways. He boils everything down to the real issue and has impeccable timing for jokes. He asks me why his jeans get so tight when he bends his leg. If you ever see a kid with sandles, shorts and a 30 degree below REI jacket it might be him. He rocks and to be honest I never understood men until he came into my world."
"He is a black belt at 8 years old". Yep, that sounds like it came from a legitimate martial arts school.
“A kid with dyslexia”. Why does the cynic in me suspect that he’s just a bit slow for his years?
"He loves God and thinks Muslims are crazy if they don't like Western ways". No parental influence there, I'm sure.
"He asks me why his jeans get so tight when he bends his leg." If he's 8, I can't imagine that's muscle.
However, it's the last sentence which is the most disturbing to me.
“I never understood men until he came into my world.”
Eight…years…old.
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Swallowed a fly earlier. I acknowledge the nutritional value but I'm not an old woman, nor am I in a position to consume a further 12 courses of farm animals.
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Nah I'm sure I read it was some right-wing politician who said it. Cosby seems to be used so that Islamophobes can say 'See - he's black and even he hates them! I'm totally not racist for hating them'.
Many liberal leaning celebrities have had this sort of 'opinion' attributed to them over the years. Right-wingers love to distribute this stuff and claim it was written by Robin Williams, George Carlin, ex Monty Python cast members and the like because as you note, you can't argue with them now can you? One of my favourites, was a piece of drivel about how all America's problems could be traced to liberals banning God from schools and how we needed to reintroduce school prayer immediately. It was purported to have been penned by Bill Gates and we all admire him, right?
Only problem...Gates is an atheist.
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Some bint is complaining that someone wrote a note and put it under the wiper blade on her car not once, but twice because she parked over 2 spaces in a car park. Instead of berating her, her sycophant friends are hitting out with gems like "you should contact the police and have the person charged with touching private property". Or, just don't park like a fanny.
Pre-Facebook days, I recall a wumman bitching on an online forum after receiving just such a note. She actually called the polis and demanded this be treated as "an act of domestic terrorism". This wasn't long after 9/11 and terrorism was on the minds of a lot of people back then. However, the lads in blue, no doubt struggling to keep their faces straight, advised her that this was no such thing and all that was required was for her to learn how to park properly. On the verge of tears, she then hit them with the only weapon left in her arsenal. "But I have my child with me."
Astonishingly, they still didn't take her side. No wonder she was outraged.
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A couple of Mrs Shotgun's sort-of-but-not-really friends are currently having a falling out. Now back when I was young, women sorted their differences with a rammy in the pub or on the street. A bit of hair-pulling, maybe some scratching and a lot of shouting. Possibly a half-hearted attempt to get the husbands to fight each other.
But because this is 2014, the falling out has to take place on Facebook. And there's no actual aggression involved. Just a series of cryptic status updates from the pair of them, with no outright references to the other.
"There are people in my life who don't deserve me" countered by "I've learned that nobody can bring me down, no matter how hard they try" followed by "Every day, I'm getting stronger even though there are some who would try to stop me" and on and on and on.
Thing is, the people who are close enough to give a shit know all the details already and aren't getting involved. So the juvenile attention whoring is simply sitting out in the ether. No likes, no "OMG hunni, what's wrong?" or anything else. Yet the pair of them still don't seem to be getting the message.
These are women in their 40s ffs.
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I went to Scouts with a lad whose parents, both Soul Music fans, named him Marvin Gaye Edmondsen. Now Marvin Edmondsen isn't that bad I suppose but they always called him by his first and middle name. "Marvin Gaye, your tea's ready" and so on. And they expected everyone else to do the same.
Fortunately for him, we boys were all very mature and kind about it.
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Guys that have one of those wallets with a wee pouch for change that stand rooting about for the 65p of their £20.65 round at the bar. Men carry their change in their pocket
Back in my pub-crawling youth I could never bring myself to count change in order to pay for my order. Every time, it was another £5, £10, £20, whatever. I'd wake up in the morning, sneak a peak in my wallet and almost cry with fear over what I might have done to spend so much. Then I'd pick my trousers up and find a small fortune in coins in the pockets. Which I then had to live on.
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I saw one yesterday saying "Just as a reminder, the people of Berlin didn't take kindly to being separated either." With a photo of Germans knocking down the wall. Nobody paid too much mind to it until this morning when it's receiving a depressing number of likes.
Because you know...Berlin being forcibly partitioned is exactly the same as Scotland holding a referendum.
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Apparently someone I worked with about 15 years ago has just died unexpectedly. All day i've been getting emails and updates on my Facebook page "In case you haven't heard". Problem is...I have no idea who the guy is/was. Even looking at the photos on 'his' Facebook page hasn't helped. Feel a bit bad about it.
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Apparently Man Utd won today.
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I'm not sure how this works but I think only the gay dogs and cats go to Rainbow Bridge. Otherwise it would be just weird.
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I'm finding that the phrase "Lest we Forget" is making me grind my teeth. Yeah, because if you and 6 million other people hadn't taken the time to post pictures of the event unfolding, I would have had NO idea that today was the anniversary. Just f**k off.
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Can't see the yank warming to Corden.
Anyone know why Craig 'Creg' Ferguson is leaving that post?
The speculation is that it was due to him being passed over as David Letterman's replacement but he insists he never wanted that job anyway. The official line is simply that he was tired and just fancied doing something else. Certainly, the few times I was up late enough to check out 'The Late, Late Show' in the later years, it appeared he was just dialing it in. Painfully unfunny.
He's lined up to host some crappy looking game show soon.
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New iPhone, new iPhone, the new iPhone is here.... f**k off
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apple
Pretty much sums it up. It doesn't cover the compulsion all iPhone users appear to share which is the incessant need to brag about how fucking great their phones are compared to those used by anyone not part of the cult. I swear, some of my co-workers must be on commission.
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Interesting sub-title on BBC fitba's home page.
"Liverpool are drawn against holders Real Madrid as Manchester City get a tough draw in the Champions League"
While Citeh's draw against Bayern Munich is undoubtedly tough, I wouldn't say Liverpool's was exactly easy by comparison.
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Annoying things people write on Facebook
in Top Fives
Posted
A lot of people stretching credibility to give themselves a tie-in to the Berlin Wall coming down. "I sat and watched this on television with friends" etc. My favourite so far has been "I was in France that year. What an amazing time to be there!" Yes, France. Oh, and not even "while it happened" but "that year".
Makes me think of Pie and Bovril's standard disaster response "I was there last week. Could have been me".