Fudge

I'm a paid up memeber of the Glasgow University Penguin Society (genuinely)

Penguins are my second favourite animals, they lose points becuase they don't fucking kill stuff (well, not in an exciting way)

I dont eevn like ffotval.

The speed limit is shit, and should be broken repeatedly. If I kill someone as a result I'll take the legal consequences.

Tera Patrick's husband is a fat, tatooed, skinheaded w**k

Hi, I'm new here.

If my son was a good footballer, I'd have no problem with him training with one of the Old Firm as they are most likely to have some of the best coaches and best facilities, to help him improve his game. If he was at Celtic though, I'd ask him to tell me if anyone tried to touch his private parts.

I'm sure she'll be mightlity impressed with your abuse, and you now stand a great chance of getting in her pants.

Birthday wishes xxx

Kid Rock - American Badass

DJP, I've only got 'You held the world in your arms', 'American English', 'No emotion' and 'Ghosts in the Arcade' Any other good ones I should download.

Idlewild - American English

Kick off isn't till 7.45pm, and it takes less than a minute to get there by car. You're going to have to put upwith me for another 15 minutes or so. I will spend the majority of that time in the stunners thread B)

Either that or you couldn't understand the simple concept in JP's post, so I gav you the benefit of the doubt

The fact you are reading it, not hearing it, renders the joke unfunny.

I'm sorry, I find even trying to imagine Stenhousemuir in a Scottish Cup Final and impossible task, so I'll have to take your word for it.

If a man cries when his team is beaten, then he is a complete loser. The only time it's even acceptable to let a defeat get you down for more than an hour is a derby loss, or a cruch promotion match defeat. I don't actually know any man who has cried after a football game, which perhaps suggests that the type of men you associate with are loose cannons anyway! The slightest thing you say to a girl can change her emotions so drastically, which is why they are strange creatures. Not that I've ever said it, but a comment like 'I don't really like that top' would send them into a complete strop, because they want to be told it looks great.

Women are much the same, and they have far too many different emotions to comprehend. Having an argument with a friend is not a good reason to cry.

Ho ho ho, shetlandbairn has got his Savo hat on. It's just a pitty that the St.Mirren weans don't contribute much to General Nonsense or you would reel a few in. Well, actually, i'm very thankful they don't.

Football fans may get it incorrect, but I highly doubt they would be stupid enough to think a team could reach the SPL without paying a wage.

More like a dead breast actually.

Last week I couldn't find my gym bag, so used another one. I found the original one the next day so started using it again. I have just realised I never removed my wet clothes from the substitute bag, which i have just found. It smelled like a bag of dead cats.

It's pretty decent to be honest.

Women shouldn't even like football, because they are in the main, fucking clueless, as you have demonstrated.