Peterhead Dave

I just wouldn't trust them.

McFly would be fantastic if they stopped ruining great songs by covering them!

Do I still have that fucking mental drummer with loud shirts?

Shut it, you raging homopoof.

You're just pure evil.

Surely there's a case there for a volley, rather than just chucking the thing...

Aww Hazel! It's so cyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-t that you think that

You've just reminded me of my petty nag. I was in a pub last year with my good lady of the time, and when we went to the bar somebody had let rip with the most foul-smell, acrid fart either of us had ever had the misfortune to smell. It was so bad, that had the culprit made himself known, the only course of action would have been to congratulate him on the smell he had given birth to. How does this link in? Well, I suspect a relative of his must have been on my bus home tonight, and the b*****d let rip with at least 4 such farts, the first of which was WORSE than the one described above. Is it wrong that I decided the blame lay with a man wearing a Celtic scarf?

I think I already know what the defence for this is going to be. If you take on a rescue dog, you know it could be a lot of work, but if you're patient enough you will get there. Giving up after a couple of weeks is just poor form.

Um, those. Again.

...and I'm still waiting for my £25, you b*****d

I don't know if it should be a worry for you that people struggle to get your jokes, or a worry for me that I get them straight away

Your computer owns your sister?

Um, yeah

Aye very good. For the record, it was not the line of business I have qualifications in

Possibly... In other words, I don't have a scooby http://www.thelittlekicks.co.uk/

Ended up seeing Eddision and the Little Kicks at the Lemon Tree on Saturday. Eddison are shite hot!

Companies who look at your CV - showing 6 and a half years of experience for the role they're advertising - then send you a letter saying "...we are looking for an experienced *******".

Beer on you after football tomorrow, aye?

Actually, feck that! I'll do both

Swap ye!

The Garcias - Everybody Come On To be followed by: The Garcias - Choo Choo And then: The Garcias - The Getaway

*Takes mental note*

That raised a chuckle