The Naitch

Nothing surer. Switzerland have gone big. Might just be mad enough to succeed.

Greece aren’t much better. Oh dear.

Albania are dreadful.

A very good evening to Malta’s dancers. Good start to the show.

The EBU have been tying themselves in knots for months regarding Israel and made an absolute arse of things at every single turn. The crowd were having none of it during Israel’s performance at the rehearsal show last night - look out for the crowd being muted for the semi final.

Not bad. Not bad at all…

I really hope not. I’d be happy with Owen/Alfie or Betty/James winning at this stage.

Femme (Netflix) That was intense. Things felt on a knife edge for a lot of the film and will stay with me for a while. Powerful stuff from both leads, well worth watching if you get the chance.

It’s not my cup of tea but can see why it’s doing well in the betting etc.

Some horrendous choices from the public there. Gutted that Poland, Iceland and Australia didn’t make it.

Eurovision - come for the songs, stay for the Grindr jokes.

Loving this orchestral version of Euphoria from Johnny.

Australia were alright. Portugal are just a bit dull. Meh.

Braw from Sweden. That’ll do well.

Haha, f**k’s sake Finland. Love it.

I have no idea what’s going on. That in itself gets bonus points for Slovenia.

Isaac can fair belt out a tune.

I’m on booking.com as we speak Really enjoying Iceland - was more worried about her getting down those stairs in one piece than her vocals.

Can see why Croatia are down as big favourites. Camp as hell.

Some cool staging from Ukraine but not really feeling the song. Getting Ava Max vibes from Poland.

Nope, it’s never been his strong suit. The performance, incredible staging and those lush back up dancers will get the votes in.

Batshit crazy from Ireland. Might get the votes in.

Anyway, now we’re talking. Go Silvester.

Very slick from Cyprus. Will be shocked if that doesn’t make the final.

It’s consistent if nothing else. Once it goes In the oven for a bit of cooking it’ll look fine.