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Barry Ferguson's Hat

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Posts posted by Barry Ferguson's Hat

  1. A mate of mine inexplicably stuck his hand into a lawnmower while working for a landscaping company, eviscerated the top of his middle finger and, under New Zealand employment law, got 8 weeks off on 75% of his salary. This 8 weeks then merged seemlessly into the two weeks off over the Christmas period.

    Had it happened a few years earlier he was would have most likely been entitled to a payout worth thousands of dollars as well.

  2. I've experienced a shite in the urinal twice in my life, both times being at school. The first was during the last week of school when I was in P.5 and the second during the last week of school before exam leave when I was in S.4. What I've deduced from this is that it was the same student, a couple of years above me, leaving a parting gift before moving on to the next stage of their life.

  3. Dotting campaigns are great. A timely reminder that no matter how much you think you may have fucked your life, there are two sad sacks that have quite obviously fucked theirs an awful lot worse. 

    Another favourite is when someone has such a heads gone that people start seriously suggesting that they step away from the keyboard and take a time-out from P&B. 

  4. In one of my FM saves as Scotland I started playing this guy because his 16th birthday fell on the date of one of our games. Kept on playing him just so I could run up an obscene number of caps. He turned out to be utter shite, but I persisted and brought him on for the last couple of minutes in every game. 

    I eventually managed to win the World Cup, with my longterm project coming off the bench to, quite incredibly, rack up a performance rating of 4 in the ninety seconds or so that he was on the park, but we won the a World Cup nevertheless. 

    Just goes to show that capping any old duffer as many times as possible CAN work, we just need to have the balls to see it through. 

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