Jump to content

senorsoupe

Gold Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    8,748

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by senorsoupe

    Total Eclipse

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    I didn't take photos because I didn't have a good lens, but it's a pretty magical experience.  It went almost completely dark, the street lights came on, the Corona was clearly visible and it was just a surreal feeling.  We got about 3 minutes of totality 

    5

    Total Eclipse

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Today is total Eclipse day here in Eastern Canada.  I'm currently in Southern Quebec visiting my folks to watch it, looks like we will have good weather.  

    Note to pendants, yes I will wear proper eclipse glasses 

    Have any other P&Bers witnessed a total solar eclipse?

     

     

     

     

     

    Messenger_creation_3b5a36d2-ef32-4f51-af96-bf329d496f32.jpeg

    0

    Pregnancy And Parenting

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    11 minutes ago, velo army said:

    That's really great to hear and I'm glad things are clearly more advanced where you are. I wish you guys all the very best. 

    Thank you, we are under no illusions that this will be easy, but we have been preparing for a while so we believe we are ready.  Although you can never truly be ready for everything but we have a good network and a good support system

    0

    Pregnancy And Parenting

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted · Edited by senorsoupe

    5 hours ago, velo army said:

    I'm genuinely curious as to why you're not adopting from Canada's no doubt large pool of unwanted children. It just sounds more trouble with more issues down the line.

     

    We initially wanted to, but we actually didn't qualify to adopt domestically for a variety of reasons, including the fact that we rent and aren't homeowners and one aspect of my wife's health.  The things that disqualified us in Canada were not an issue for Ukraine or Bulgaria so we proceeded that way. 

     

    5 hours ago, velo army said:

    The bit in bold doesnt really sit well for me, and is more a criticism of the system than of you and senorinasoup.

    It seems potentially very cruel on the child if you guys decide they aren't for you. Surely any issues with said bambino/bambina would be disclosed well in advance. It just sounds like it has the potential to reaffirm to the child the message received by the initial abandonment if it is rejected a second time.

    I think I misspoke or didn't phrase that well.  We have indeed received all of the dossier and will be discussing it with our adoption social worker before we go to see if there are any things that we are missing when we read and evaluated the report ourselves. As of right now the child is not aware that there is a potential match but they are aware that they are in the registry to be adopted internationally (and are OK with it).  The child is of an age where they are able to make a decision on their own so that is more of whether or not they decide they don't like us than if we don't like them.  We are 100% committed and would have no intention of not keeping them even if things come up down the line.  My wife is a professional in mental health and disability so we are well prepared on that front.

     

    1 hour ago, velo army said:

    It's not just the system. There's a whole culture around adoption that encourages a Disneyfied Pollyana-esque view of the whole thing. It's a trauma for the kid, but it's unique among childhood trauma in that it's one for which they're expected to be grateful. 

    When adopting people should beware of well behaved and immediately well adapted children. Their survival was threatened once through relinquishment and separation so they've internalised the message that they should be good for these new people so that they don't get abandoned again. Given what we now know about attachment theory especially in how early disruptions impact adaptive behaviour prospective adopters should welcome "difficult" children as they're exhibiting the behaviours that the "good" children repress. 

    Anyone adopting should read "The Primal Wound" and go into this with their eyes wide open.

    I don't know how it works in the UK, but in Canada you need to take courses and be evaluated by social workers before you can be approved to adopt (domestically and internationally).   These courses are specifically designed to teach you about the trauma associated with adoption and evaluate your readiness to handle these situations and it's not an automatic pass.  We have also been in contact with people who were adopted, people who have adopted children, and have attended seminars and read a lot of books about adoption and the stories of adopted people. 

    In short, we are well aware of the difficulties of this transition and are prepared for the more difficult behaviour that is likely to be involved as they transition. 

    4

    Bulgaria

    in The Travel Forum

    Posted

    So it looks as though I will be heading to Bulgaria soon.  Anyone ever been?  Any tips or suggestions of things to eat/drink and places to go?

     

    I promise I won't buy a horse

    0

    Pregnancy And Parenting

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Four years after we started the international adoption process, we got a call today that there is a match for us in Bulgaria!  I am a bit overwhelmed with emotions as we had to start again thanks to that wankstain Vladimir Putin (originally we had been approved to adopt from Ukraine).  That being said, this is a whirlwind and we need to get on a plane to fly to Bulgaria in a couple of weeks to meet the child and ensure they are indeed a good match for us.  

    So much to do

    15
×
×
  • Create New...