Doctor Manhattan

Have your two hundredth greenie, you superb fucking c**t you!

Strong Royston Vasey vibes!

Aye. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for improving lives, but surely we "exist" to play football and - ideally - win the occasional game. Tell us just a wee bit more about that, maybe.

I can confidently predict that whoever lands the bold Connor, they will not see him score LESS goals than he did in claret & amber.

Motherwell 5-0 Ross County. Or vice versa. I presume O'Donnell is injured.

It's certainly going to be (checks Big Book of Euphemisms) "interesting".

Shields not starting, new faces, options on the bench... this probably only ends one way.

Motherwell 0-5 Ross County. It's the circle of life.

I'm getting strong "Alf Tupper" vibes here.

Great Scott!

Have you seen us this season? Successfully passing to a team mate will look like some kind of fucking sorcery to Ricki Lamie, among others.

That's nominative determinism for you. And who knows, maybe one day (soon) Stevie H will be managing Hammellton Accies.

GET. CONNOR. SHIELDS. IN. THE. FUCKING. SEA.

Backwards, backwards, misplaced pass. Backwards, backwards,, aimless punt. On the plus side, that's the game 10% over already.

Win, lose, or draw (and I think we all know which option the odds favour) I am really, really not looking forward to this.

I can only imagine the state of Burrows' reply guys.

Me realising this means Connor Shields will once again get the full ninety:

I somehow doubt it's an "either/or" thing.

Predictable responses...

Nae spunk? Banksy won't be losing any sleep just yet.

Options from the bench somewhat, er, limited too.

Could have been worse.

It's not quite in the spirit of the nomination, but after scoring a debut hat trick against Hibs after coming on as a second half substitute (and it was basically the exact same goal three times) there was really nowhere else for the diminutive David Ferrere to go after that but down.