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DAFC

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Posts posted by DAFC

    Facts you made up

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Edinburgh, or, to give it its technical name, Edin mu pont frexis a la monte, is the fifth largest of the seven mobile cities of the World. Currently broken down on the outskirts of Aberdeen in Scotland, the city is now showing extensive wind, rain, and bagpipe damage.

    Edinburgh has been at war with Scotland's largest city Glasgow ever since 1989 when, after a crankshaft failure, the west coast city came to a halt, crushing the entire centre of the ill-fated Scottish capital. While Glasgow has since recovered from the damage caused, enough even to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 2003, feelings between the two cities are at an all-time low. Violence escalated recently when Edinburgh Castle (not to be confused with Stirling Castle) was replaced by a jelly sculpture of Oscar Wilde by a pair of mischievous Glaswegians. However, the Arch-Rabbi of Edinburgh, Lionel Blue, remains confident that peace talks with Glasgow will be successful, and that the city will be able to maneuver out of its current location by mid-2011.

    Edinburgh's primary export is wind, which it manufactures in its many picturesque streets. It is arguably most notorious for being a self-confessed showcase capital by the Scottish Executive, who in effect, ethnically cleanse the working class, relocating them to freeze and starve to death in shanty towns such as Armadale, Grangemouth, Falkirk, Motherwell and Liechtenstein, the few who are actually lucky enough to be allowed to live within the city boundaries are kept in secret areas on the outskirts of town such as Muirhouse and Wester Hailes, far from the public eye. Because of this, Edinburgh is quite often accused by some common stinking scaffie lower class scum folk as being 'snobby'. Where the hell did the soap dodging c***s get that idea from...

    Scotland's capital city is also known around the World for its tarmac (or asphalt). Currently sold in 5, 10 or 15 kilogram pieces on the Royal Mile, Edinburgh tarmac is in high demand from locals and tourists alike. In fact so much tarmac is sold that on certain streets, cobbles can be seen poking through, often leading to heavy criticism of The City of Edinburgh District Council roads department.

    The entire population of Edinburgh is made up of international tourists and the Polish. The inigenous Scots who work in the city, commute from neighbouring cities such as Leith, following legislation enacted by the Scottish Executive, travel permits must be issued by the Government to any Scot wishing to enter the city. This was due to the soaring trade in novelty bunnet hats, tartan and shortbread which have replaced all other sources of income.

    93% of the population of Edinburgh work for One company , The Royal Standard Bank Of Council Widows.

    The city attracts millions of visitors every year, this is because of the unique time warp that affects the area, which causes the city to remain in the middle ages.

    Edinburgh is a satellite neighbourhood of nearby Dalkeith and orbits on a 7.1 mile radius around the heavily-mined southern Lothian town. Once every fifteen years the view of the Forth Road Bridge from Edinburgh castle is completely blocked-out for 1,327 hours as Dalkeith, and all the mining structures it still has, gets in the way.

    Despite the fact that nearly everyone is English or descended from Saxons and has an upper-middle class accent, Edinburgh is actually part of Scotland and not civilization.

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    Facts you made up

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    And he chose to play for Scotland due to the constant badgering of Mr Mackay (he and Fletcher having become unlikely friends upon his release from prison)

    Big Jock McClaren was also persuaded to play for Scotland but after missing a sitter from two yards out it was decided that he would be better off going back to his chosen profession.

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    Facts you made up

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    The saying brass monkeys comes from the trip to the North Pole in 1895 by the great explorer Arthur McCurthur.

    Monkeys were employed to piggy back the explorer and his team to the pole but went on strike due to financial issues. During the first night they simply sailed back to Southhampton leaving doomed Arthur to write 'damn you dirty brass monkeys!' in his journal.

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    Worst Town/area In Scotland

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Just avoid most of Fife apart from the East Neuk, Falkland and maybe the odd Abbey or walk like the Lomond hills or Tentsmuir Forrest.

    The main towns aren't that bad really, just that there's not much to see apart from Dunfermline Abbey if you're into historical stuff.

    The coastal path from Elie right up to Crail in the summer is well worth doing too.

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    Club DECE

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    There's a difference between saying a song is a modern pop classic and the sign of top boi status when you like it with your m8's, and saying you generally love that band. Having an instant dislike for every song a band does cos you aren't a fan is "the complete opposite of #dece".

    My m8 goes on the Inverness Caley supporters bus to away games and during each journey him and the boiz all have a group rendition of Shine A Light by McFly. Are they all McFly fans, or are they just a top bunch of boiz that like to have a laugh and not take themselves seriously? The latter all the way bro.

    Btw m8EO, you can do what you like, but I'm pretty sure that 1D song was discussed here easily over a year ago. You can hate the Dece, but da Dece don't change.

    Dont h8 the dece m80, just getting too old to get away with singing 1D songs even ironically.

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    Electric heating and hot water system advice

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Didn't want to create a new thread but wondered if any heating plumbing experts could answer a quick question?

    Had my boiler serviced and came home later to find it not powering up, was told there was a 'sticky switch' but that it was now ok.

    So from Friday night to Sat I had no heating and just enough hot water for sat morning.

    British Gas tried to charge me £50 for a further callout and I told them to bolt and send me someone out to fix it straight away.

    Guy came today who knew exactly what it was and replaced the solenoid and now it's ok.

    My question is now likely is it that the first engineer damaged the solenoid in some way? I'm guessing that you need to switch the gas valve off to so some checks and also check of the mechanical valves and electrics?

    What else gets done and how likely is it that it was damaged during the service? Thinking of cancelling my contract with them as I don't really trust them anymore. Feel they are under pressure to cut costs and pressure sell new boilers and missing the point.

    They tell you that they can get parts but then a leaflet appears through your door telling you that some parts aren't available. Not the fault of the engineers but it's annoying that they can be so blatant.

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    Walking Down The Halbeath Road

    in Scottish Championship General Chatter

    Posted

    Wow, gwan dougie Dave

    http://dafc.info/forum/read.php?f=4&i=17074&t=17074

    Wish I'd taken screen dumps when one of them edited his own posts to provoke me into swearing back at him during a thread about masterton and overspending.

    He then edited them back to make me look like I had attacked him without provocation and red carded me.

    All to defend Gavin. What an utter gimp. Now working for the club.

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    soccer am

    in TV and Film Forum

    Posted

    They have that Angelos Epithemiou on it today, who is utterly shite and ruins any chance of comedy, along with a random hipster band and Matty Etherington. Awful line up.

    As an aside Razor Ruddock just destroyed Akinfenwa in a weight lifting competition :lol:

    Was going to say I enjoyed angelos, quite like daft humour like that. Shooting stars style.

    Told max to go home and have a good look at himself when asked for advice. I think he's hilarious but not sure about his pal. The band looked like they were on a whitey sitting next to him.

    :lol:

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