HooseLee

I had a German girlfriend called adolf well that's what I called her behind her back Adolf Clitler she was bossy

Still a good joke.

They fall for his pish saw a doc where he flew up to Germany from French just to ask mick Jagger's to do some singing for him had a scran and then went home. Another thing in the dic was hom saying to mick 'all those great songs in the 60s, where did they all come from?' Jagget said that most were written in half an hour. And these b*****ds swan about the world elevating their level of relevance. Even if his music was any good, he is still a p***k. A finger clicking p***k. Stop daeing it is brilliant

He is nearly a billionaire and he is telling g us how to save the world. How the f**k does he know that folk don't do their bit anyway. If he is that concerned about the world's problems, he never has to keep a single penny he makes again. f**k him. His music is utter shite as well.

Just been saying that on radio 5. Someone said that folk will start visiting others due to climbing the walls. I can see this happening if we are still like this in a month. Was supposed to be moving house this week and I'm now stuck with two rustic schemies fir neighbours until this is all over. Gutted.

To quote bill hicks I'm at the stage that I'm shooting powder. Wee tip if you're worried about your sight, do it with the light out.

I'm alright with that if an arsehole thinks you're an arsehole, you're doing alright. Thanks for that.

Is he not the singer in a well known band who bumped their taxes by putting them in an offshore Dutch bank account and is always asking folk to give their money away to charities he supports? What was that famous quote of his? I think it was 'every time I burst into tears, get rich and you get guilt!' The boy is a twat a billionaire twat..

Tomorrow night at 8 o'clock I'm going out side to clap to show my appreciation for the television, internet and radio for helping get us through this period. Anyone else up for it?

They say they don't care until they corner you in a shop doorway and batter the shite out of you. I wish they would be honest about this. One other wee thing if you call derry derry, they go daft and tell you its Londonderry. How come you never hear them singing about the Londonderry boys and guarding Londonderry's walls? Is it only when it suits them? Maybe this should be in the petty things that get on your nerves thread... Though I do wish they would make up their minds

Never thought about that can you say f**k him in Spanish to see if we can catch him out?

The guy lost his legs in the Falklands war and you're taking the pish. Out of order the guy is a war hero.

We really have to monitor this thread for these type of jokes.

We kicked the balls of doom up the arse by setting up foh to save the club and help it move forward. Next season and all it brings can come ahead... as long as it's not with most of the players that are there now.

I don't think they realise the effect they are having on fans attitude to the game at this time. I can see attendances increase for amateur teams etc. Not just players at our club, but what is happening elsewhere as well. Spurs etc f**k em all. Seriously going off the game. It just feels like a big money making sceme for players, bookies etc. I'd start again with the youngsters and those who have shown some decorum at this time. It doesn't help that they have been shite for ages now. We have only beaten 3 teams in the league this season and these selfish fucks are only thinking of themselves. The game in general will suffer because of this

That's basically it. An old age ned. Mutton dressed as bam

A woman's work is never done... And as Sean Locke said maybe that's why they don't get paid as much as us.

I don't know why you aren't getting more credit for your pacing it line. Its brilliant.

The best way rod could help Scottish football is to feck off and never show his face here again. He's now seen as a Scottish football celebrity. Pathetic!

Go tae feck, its 'you're'* * I know that's petty but if someone called you a fat speccy Motherwell fan, you'd grab anything...

Who cut your hair, the council? Cheap shite trainers used to get called Adidas pontoons. One twist and they're bust!

'You needing a shite?' 'Naw' 'well away and brush yer teeth. Yer breath is fucking bowfin!'

Wee thing that annoys me but shouldn't is when someone is selling something on a local Facebook page and a couple of their friends click like. They must think it's going to get someone buying it. If you like it, you fucking buy it.

That's why I chose my username more tongue fu. Fav movie enter the slaggin sorry mate bored out of my balls.

Getting drunk is no excuse for accusing me of being that fat, speccy Motherwell fan.... you accused me of being tam you're lucky I can't fight...