P and B Official Hamster

Alright troops, Ah've goat masel a nice new home in Ayrshire. Bit chilly n that but ahm a hamster so at least have an excuse to lie in ma scratcher aw day. Settlin in nicely, goat loads of hay to piss in, some carrots to eat and hunners of water to drink. Some big fat c**t keeps comin in and peeking intae ma cage. Due biting his fuckin hauns aff if he lifts the tap oaf ma hoose again. Anyhoo I better go. Ahm using the computer because the fat c**t left it oan bit he's due back any minute. Catch ye x

f**k u bitch.