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Business / corporate speak nonsense


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Until they see it - but the colour is wrong.

 

All clients are the same - they don't know what they want, but they know what they don't want. They don't want whatever is produced.

 

Nobody is capable of giving clear directions/instructions or answering questions.

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Just remember this beauty from yesterday. Was in a meeting where people were being asked to lead on certain aspects. Some bint was asked if she was going to lead on some white and her response was (with a straight face):

"On this one we need a jazz band approach and we should have multiple leaders".

It's at times like that someone needs to stand up and be counted and ask the bint what the actual f**k is she talking about.

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Just remember this beauty from yesterday. Was in a meeting where people were being asked to lead on certain aspects. Some bint was asked if she was going to lead on some white and her response was (with a straight face):

"On this one we need a jazz band approach and we should have multiple leaders".

 

Over here that would be - "We need a flute band approach and we should have multiple big drummers".

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It's important to be prepared, Moz. I recommend reading some jazz mags and reporting your findings at the meeting.

 

JacksGranda makes a good point; I'd suggest you offer to take the role of band leader, with her playing the flute. Failing that, tell her that you've investigated the group's musical abilities, and that you've got an unbelievable pianist. Job's a good 'un.

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  • 1 month later...

"skin in the game" - sure that one has been mentioned here before? No idea wtf it means, American pish.

 

Oh and whilst I remember I was dealing with an HR Manager the other day who refers to the employees as "assets".

Edited by Swarley
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"skin in the game" - sure that one has been mentioned here before? No idea wtf it means, American pish.

 

Oh and whilst I remember I was dealing with an HR Manager the other day who refers to the employees as "assets".

 

He wouldn't say that if he'd met some of the guys I've worked with...

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"skin in the game" - sure that one has been mentioned here before? No idea wtf it means, American pish.

Oh and whilst I remember I was dealing with an HR Manager the other day who refers to the employees as "assets".

Are you sure he said assets?
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He wouldn't say that if he'd met some of the guys I've worked with...

 

He wouldn't say that if he'd met some of the guys I've worked with...

 

Are you sure he said assets?

 

it was actually a she and yes she definitely said assets

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Just been told by my manager that my "future work opportunities have become much wider than this time last year"

Never mind, 4 weeks notice pay for sitting on my arse.

Well that's solved this little dilemma.

 

I'm pretty happy in my present job, despite taking a 10% pay cut earlier this year. The company has had a quiet year so far but this seems to be picking up now & prospects are looking better.

The problem is, I've had an offer of work from another company who have, let's just say a less than squeaky clean business record. Often leaving suppliers unpaid etc.

Problem is, new offer is great cash & if I lasted a year could probably retire -15 years earlier than planned.

Over to you.

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