Adieu to Group A

[Ross.]

Thought France were relatively pish again. Switzerland played well without ever threatening too much. France have no chance of winning the tournament without massive improvement. Switzerland could probably make the quarters if they get a bit of luck in the next round but won't go any further barring a miracle.

[Cerberus]

France have nothing in attack.

That Gignac guy is pish.

[Mon Dieu]

France v Switzerland summed up most of the group games. It was one of several games where the score seemed certain before Kick-off. It was also one of many predictably cautious matches; each side half-heartedly pressing as the game wore on, bereft of incisiveness and lacking a cutting-edge. To put it bluntly, the first round has been dull.

 

Most of the action has occurred off the pitch, be it in the stands or in the streets. Plastic seats have been smothered within stadiums, whereas they are getting an airing outside, away from the confines of dissatisfied derrières and into the jaws of jaunty fans.

 

Other instances of inanimate objects proving more lively than the matches:

 

Football boots cutting-up pitches more often than the Spaniards cut open Turkey.
Even Pepe has cut open fewer players, than the amount of pitches getting cut-up!

 
More burst balls during a game than bursts of pace.
Even Pepe has burst fewer balls, than the amount of footballs getting burst!

 
Shirts getting ripped to shreds more often than teams.
Even Pepe has ripped open fewer players, than the amount of shirts getting ripped open.
 
Flares have penetrated, to get into games; very little flair has penetrated, to get something out of a game.
Even Pepe has penetr- No, wait... Pepe still penetrates whoever: whenever. #AbsoluteLad