DAFC. Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Chris Smith Jim PatersonAlex KeddieStuart UrquhartPaddy Boyle Paul GeorgeKyle McAuslandAndy Stirling Myles HippolyteGavin ReillyRobbie Muirhead Subs: Danny Devine, Mark Durnan, Lewis Allan, Sorel Chemin That squad makes my piss boil. Couldn’t leave out Reilly. Absolutely pish and couldn’t score in a brothel. Therefore a strange 4-1-2-3 formation of absolute jobbers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Jaffo Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 David Hutton Kyle McAusland Craig Beattie Kevin McKinlayMarc Twaddle Anthony Marenghi Ryan McStay Alex Burke David Winters Ryan Donnelly Kevin Kyle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArabFC Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Attempted to pick a team not with guys that were just shite, but that played far too often! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armand 2 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 1. Thorsten Stuckmann A big lumbering German who arrived with what seemed like a fairly solid reputation but was slow and could barely kick the ball. Think he's still getting down to Joe Dodoo's second goal. 2. Milan Nitriansky Pay peanuts, get monkeys. Not quite sure how he got a deal in the first place. Got roasted by Scott Wright and was never seen again. 3. Jake Carroll Looked like he'd never played at left back when we signed him - turned out to not be far off the mark as he signed for Huddersfield as a centre mid. His debut (can't recall who it was against) was one of the most inept performances I've seen - the opposition looked like they would score every time they came down our left side. To be fair, I think he improved somewhat during his spell with us and has obviously developed since, earning a move to Motherwell. Could've had a few others in here - Max Melbourne, Dale Keenan to think of two. 4. Gabriel Piccolo A terribly handsome man, I think his looks must have mesmerised some fans who protested until the bitter end that he possessed some kind of footballing talent. The fact he's not played for another football club at any level since tells you all that needs to be known. 5. Danny Devine For maybe half a season, Danny Devine threatened to be a fairly competent centre half. However, it soon became apparent that this was due, almost entirely, to Liam Lindsay (playing in a three also helped). Could be having a solid game but then make an absolute howler, costing a goal. Distribution was absolutely woeful. 6. Brice Ntambwe Truly one of the worst footballers I've ever seen. Came off the bench against Queen of the South when we were defending a throw in deep in our half. Stood beside Dobbie but then did the most bizarre shuffle between marking him and marking space. Literally looked like he'd never been on a football pitch before. 7. Jack Storer I did hesitate in putting him in as he did score probably the best goal I've ever seen live against Morton. But he was a petulant, stroppy liability who despite playing as a striker or a 10, would often be as deep as our sitting midfielders. Now onto his second or third team since leaving us. His Da was good banter though. 8. Martin Woods A complete charlatan. It is no coincidence that he is largely despised at every club he's been at. The epitome of everything that went wrong in our final season in the top flight. 9. Shaun Fraser Shaun Fraser apparently played rugby rather than football up until he was 16 - it told. Somehow scored on his debut and was heralded as the next big thing before disappearing almost as quickly as he appeared. Another like Piccolo who barely played after leaving us, bar a short spell at Stenny. 10. Andrea Mbuyi-Mutombo Like most of Archie's signings last season, we were left scratching our head when we signed him, thinking "ehh...he's fucking shite". And lo and behold, he was fucking shite. Stinking attitude to boot. 11. Miles Storey f**k me... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I thought Kuate was very good for United just a complete nut job? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Sam Ramsbottom Jamie McCormack - Darren Cole - Jonathan Page - Marc Fitzpatrick David Robertson - Cameron Blues - Tony Wallace Donovan Simmonds - Andrew Dallas - Kevin Kelbie A second XI is probably worthwhile as well, because I’m not happy with letting any of Ryan Scully, Ross Forsyth, Paul Di Giacomo, Sean Fitzharris, Andy Barrowman, Garry O’Connor, Kabba-Modou Cham or Kudus Oyenuga off the hook. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dregs 83 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I thought Kuate was very good for United just a complete nut job? He was bang average at best, however you probably have that perception because he was capable of the odd good touch/ ball and scored an absolute screamer against Morton in the playoffs.The game where he lost the rag against Hamilton he was the worst player on the park, 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB1994 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 FW - Dani Lopez. After winning the Scottish cup, we decided to build a team for Europe by signing this guy. A Spanish jobber, he started our only European ties but failed to have any impact, a truly appalling player. He was eventually binned early after being sent off in a reserve game for spitting at a St Johnstone player.In one of the friendly games, when he was on trial, he managed to trip up over the ball and landed in a heap on the pitch. No idea what John Hughes was seeing in him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrunitedfw Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 David Hutton- He was really awful. Used to always dive after the ball was past him. Ayr fans got right inside his head a couple of seasons back at Arbroath and he had a shocker in a 4-1 win. Kyle McAusland- We signed this guy twice? No idea why, now jobbing it in the juniors. Not shocked. Darren Brownlie- An awful footballer and an arsehole in to the bargain. Said while employed with Ayr that he wished he had signed for Thistle u21, so do I Darren. Adam Cummins- Just awful. A panic loan signing when McCall first joined. Found his level at Stranraer Kevin McKinlay- Signed from Stenhousemuir same time as Nicky Devlin. Had no where near the ability. Once offered a fan a square go on Twitter. Ryan McStay- The only player I’ve ever got into an argument with on Twitter. Searches his own name on Twitter. p***k. David Sinclair- Probably a decent enough player but a total shitebag. Summed up exactly what was wrong with Ayr United at that time. Scott McLaughlin (2nd spell)- He was pretty decent 1st spell however was awful second spell and much like Sinclair was a total shitebag. McCal emptied him not long after coming in as he was apparently a bad egg. Ryan Donnelly- Should of been exactly what Shankland ended up being but wasn’t. Similar to McLaughlin was emptied not long after McCall came in. Jamie Thomas- Scored a hat trick against Gretna 2008 in the Raydale tournament. Looked like Henry. Didn’t score again and ended up having his loan ended early. Farid El Alagui- He ran the way I run when I’m being chased by demons in my dreams. Turned up at POTY event in Ayr United tracksuit, got into an arguement with fans and left. Didn’t do much else. Purposely left out Beattie and Kyle as I don’t think they were particularly bad for us. Just completely finished. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Jaffo Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Farid El Alagui- He ran the way I run when I’m being chased by demons in my dreams. Turned up at POTY event in Ayr United tracksuit, got into an arguement with fans and left. Didn’t do much else. How did I not know about the POTY incident? Tbf he can’t be that clever when he left the Pars for a business venture in Asia and arrived at Somerset Park. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harry94 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Built a squad of players to try and whittle my selection down from. Currently sitting with this bloated mess: Goalkeepers Derek Soutar Arvid Schenk Dan Twardzik Right Back Chris Casement James Horsfield Centre Half Bob Malcolm Adam Cummins Davide Grassi Kevin Gomis Andrew Davies Ryan Inniss Dominic Shimmin Left Back Willie Dyer Daryll Meggatt Netan Sansara Central Midfield Charlie Grant Marc Klok Martin Woods Tom Hateley Stephen Hughes Mark Kerr Darren Young Ross Chisholm David Morgan Wingers Sean Bonnet-Johnson Randy Wolters Phillip Roberts Don Cowan Strikers Ben Hutchinson Andy Barrowman Arturo Carlo Monti Steven Doris Njazi Kuqi Yordi Teijsse Jean MendyGood template, it represents a collosal wastage! I'd personally rule out Soutar who was just a squad filler to cover in an emergency and also Twardzik was also an emergency signing but was parted with early when Gibson was fit again and Motherwell needed cover.Willie Dyer was out his depth when we went up but he gave us a decent season in the league winning campaign so wouldn't touch him in respect of thay. Probably a position we're actually quite good in though and we've had plenty of reasonable left backs. Similarly Cummins was a cover signing who only had two starts and we only conceded one goal, he was a bit unfit but was otherwise wasn't a disaster.Graham Bayne was god awful in his second spell. I think some of the other forwards could argue they didn't get a fair crack of it but he was quite consistently poor over a season.I'd go a weird 5-3-2 thing.SchenkCasement Malcolm Inniss Grassi MeggattKlok Hughes MontiBayne DorisTom Hateley is probably the best shite player we've had in the last wee while IMO. Playing at a decent level (excluding Inniss) still and he did actually have a few good games looking back. We were promised a lot more though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Tarmo Kink Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Owain Fraud WilliamsBrad McKayDanny DevineMatthew ElsdonAndre BlackmanBilly KingLiam Hughes ©Ben GreenhalghJake MulraneyPhil RobertsClaude Gnakpa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossBFaeDundee Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 Arvid Schenk James Horsfield Davide Grassi Ryan Inniss Daryll Meggatt Martin Woods Marc Klok Mark Kerr Carlo Monti Yordi Teijsse Jean Mendy Manager: Jim McIntyre Honourable mentions go to Andrew Davies, who is this club's mascot, selling CBD oil from his wheelchair, and Sofien Moussa, the shittiest player that I actually have positive memories of. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 (edited) There are a number of ways of maybe doing this, i.e. Players such as Ryan Scully or Christie Elliott who had regular game time to the point that they were more damaging to the team than the pub team dross who had limited time on the pitch. Or, just listing the pub team dross XI. I've attempted the latter here. GK) Bryn Halliwell - From memory he was signed as a replacement for Jonny Tuffey who left for Inverness, and was taken as experienced and acceptable enough filler for the position. Weekly horror shows - including a 4 goal surrender against Stirling Albion - saw him replaced by Scott Fox at the earliest opportunity. RB) Darren Cole - One of several loanees we took from Deadco between around 2009-2011. Was in the Scotland u21s at the time and heralded to have a good deal of potential, but it took five minutes of watching him to realise he'd be rattling down to the Juniors by his mid 20s. CB) Willie Kinniburgh - I believe he occupied a backline with John Robertson, Ian Maxwell and Alan Archibald all well into their 30s, and he still looked like the slowest geriatric out the lot. Responsible for some absolute nightmare individual performances and one of the worst centre halfs I've ever seen. CB) Gabriel Piccolo - Didn't have a clue how to play the position and got an absolute riding off of James McFadden in a 5-1 defeat to Motherwell. The fact he left us aged 24 and is yet to play for a club since suggests we'd been had by a dodgy agent. Now to be found touring Mexican playgrounds and swinging off the monkey bars with his top off. LB) Dale Keenan - A bug left about 80% of our first team unable to play a home game against Dundee United, which we managed to draw 2-2. Whilst I believe this might have seen the emergence of Liam Lindsay as a regular centre back, it also meant this boy found himself playing top flight football by accident when he barely looked suited to professional football at all. RM) Jason Banton - One of several Archibald loan signings who made one or two sub appearances, and in those appearances making clear to anyone watching that they were only there to wind down their contracts with their parent clubs. CM) Mark Woods - About 1,255,523 corners being floated tamely into the first man aside, an absolute shitebag of a player who gave the impression of thinking he was Xavi while side passing directly into the opposition's possession. A prolonged injury crisis meant he played every week, as we unsurprisingly shat ourselves to relegation. CM) Mark Kerr - See Mark Woods, except he had the good grace to stay away from set-pieces and to mostly stay out of first team affairs. LM) David Wilson - He was at the club for what seemed like 20 years and I still have no idea what position he was meant to be, largely because he demonstrated no skill in any aspect of the game. I suspect we held onto him as he was tall and gangling and we were waiting for him to fill out a bit and turn into a beast, but this did not happen. ST) Kal Naismith - Another Deadco loanee with all the swagger of a Murray Park brat thinking he'd rip up the league, whilst contributing absolutely nothing. At least not until starring in the early Banter Years of the Tribute Act a couple of years later. Astonished to see he is now at a half-decent level in England, but then Lucas Akins managed the same thing and he'd have sailed into a worst 00's XI. ST) Henoc Mukendi - A loanee from Liverpool where we reportedly paid 0% of his wages. After a customary sub appearance a Leage Cup game against Ayr, he disappeared entirely and now appears to be trying to get into the Guinness world records for most English pub teams signed for. Edited November 21, 2019 by AMMjag 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dafc_lee Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 (edited) I'm sure we could get a few squads out of this dross Greg Fleming Chris Smith David Hutton John Potter Alex Keddie Stuart Urquhart Jonathan Page Alex Whittle Ross Millen Shaun Rooney Paul Burns Kyle Hutton Mark Kerr Ross Forbes Andy Stirling Chris Kane Ryan Blair Graham Holmes Aiden Connolly Paul Willis Robbie Muirhead Andy Barrowman (second spell) Gavin Reilly Jamie Mole Myles Hippolyte Mickaël Antoine-Curier Edited November 21, 2019 by dafc_lee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meatwad Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 4-2-3-1 Bryn Halliwell; Greg Shields, Gabriel Piccolo, Niall Keown, Jake Carroll; Bryan Hodge, Scott Robertson; Ryan Stevenson, Jack Storer, Antonio German; Jim Hamilton Had to think hard but Keown hasn't found a club since he left us and unike Devine in that he has gone on to be a dependable starter at Championship level, Jack Storer was an embarrassment and I had left the ground before Antonio German's sole appearance in a pumping at Motherwell. Stevenson was an expensive flop, scored a few goals but largely disappointed to the point I felt he should be included. Took Halliwell over Bell based purely on the embarrassment that was that defeat to Stirling Albion at Forthbank which prompted Ian McCall to go out and sign Scott Fox. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoBNob Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 2 hours ago, Meatwad said: Devine in that he has gone on to be a dependable starter at Championship level, Whoa. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 10 hours ago, PB1994 said: In one of the friendly games, when he was on trial, he managed to trip up over the ball and landed in a heap on the pitch. No idea what John Hughes was seeing in him. It was his debut against St Mirren at home in said friendly. His first engagement with the ball was him trying to control it and it ran under his foot and out for a throw in. 60 seconds later Ryan Christie slipped him through and he fresh aired it and went arse over tit and landed in a heap. Utter shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikethedee Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 13 hours ago, Ludo*1 said: Built a squad of players to try and whittle my selection down from. Currently sitting with this bloated mess: Goalkeepers Derek Soutar Arvid Schenk Dan Twardzik Right Back Chris Casement James Horsfield Centre Half Bob Malcolm Adam Cummins Davide Grassi Kevin Gomis Andrew Davies Ryan Inniss Dominic Shimmin Left Back Willie Dyer Daryll Meggatt Netan Sansara Central Midfield Charlie Grant Marc Klok Martin Woods Tom Hateley Stephen Hughes Mark Kerr Darren Young Ross Chisholm David Morgan Wingers Sean Bonnet-Johnson Randy Wolters Phillip Roberts Don Cowan Strikers Ben Hutchinson Andy Barrowman Arturo Carlo Monti Steven Doris Njazi Kuqi Yordi Teijsse Jean Mendy Wow, that is one hell of a terrible squad. Can't think of anything positive to say about any of them, except I seem to remember that Twardzik wasn't too bad. Depressing reminder of why we are where we are... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francesc Fabregas Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 I see a lot of Partick Thistle supporters have nominated Shaun Fraser here - in three appearances and 70-odd minutes of football on loan at Stenhousemuir, I can safely say he's the most limited player I've ever seen in my life. I genuinely have no idea how or why he found himself on a pitch because he had no ability whatsoever. I don't know whatever happened to him after he returned to Firhill but a quick search on Google suggests he tried his hand at modelling. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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