Mince Pie Watch 2023

[mathematics]

2 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Avoid these like the plague. 

Might sound a nice combo on paper but they're not nice at all. hardly any mince pie flavour or millionaire crumble flavour. Texture of gravel. 

Millionaire’s Crumble? Sounds like ROSS COUNTY FC.

[mathematics]

Waitrose Crumble Top Mince Pies with Cranberry and Orange

A few years back, not long after I discovered an undying love for mince pies, I was given a pack made by zany chef Heston Blumenthal. They were delicious, and unlike any mince pie I had ever tasted. They ran away with the awards that year. I’m not sure whatever happened to them. I think they had lemon in them, maybe things went sour.

Anyway, these pies from Waitrose are definitely trying to fill the gap left by Heston’s pies. They too come in packs of four, are large but shallow, have a crumble top and have a fruit kissed filling. In fact, some might even go as far as to say that they’re essentially the same as the aforementioned. They are not. While tasty enough, they are just too orange and, quite frankly, a pale imitation of a once great pie.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: THE RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB, due to being quite tasty, but nowhere near the great pie that once existed which they are pretending to be.

Edited November 27, 2023 by mathematics

[Florentine_Pogen]

57 minutes ago, mathematics said:

A few years back, not long after I discovered an undying love for mince pies, I was given a pack made by zany chef Heston Blumenthal. They were delicious, and unlike any mince pie I had ever tasted. They ran away with the awards that year. I’m not sure whatever happened to them. I think they had lemon in them, maybe things went sour.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/oct/12/christmas-early-heston-blumenthal

Heston Blumenthal's take on traditional Christmas fayre hits the supermarket shelves this week.

This year it's mince pies with a twist: lemon curd, apple puree and rose water in with the currants and raisins in the pie – and Christmas tree smell, in the form of pine oil, in the sugar on top.

"Warm in the oven and then sprinkle with pine sugar for a real festive twist," as the box says, or as a colleague said, rearing back in alarm, "smells like something you'd do the washing up with".

Sounds a bit boakish for my schemie constitution.

[Cosmic Joe]

8 hours ago, mathematics said:

Waitrose Crumble Top Mince Pies with Cranberry and Orange

A few years back, not long after I discovered an undying love for mince pies, I was given a pack made by zany chef Heston Blumenthal. They were delicious, and unlike any mince pie I had ever tasted. They ran away with the awards that year. I’m not sure whatever happened to them. I think they had lemon in them, maybe things went sour.

Anyway, these pies from Waitrose are definitely trying to fill the gap left by Heston’s pies. They too come in packs of four, are large but shallow, have a crumble top and have a fruit kissed filling. In fact, some might even go as far as to say that they’re essentially the same as the aforementioned. They are not. While tasty enough, they are just too orange and, quite frankly, a pale imitation of a once great pie.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: THE RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB, due to being quite tasty, but nowhere near the great pie that once existed which they are pretending to be.

That's all well and good, but there's no Waitrose in Dundee or Methil. 

[mathematics]

31 minutes ago, Cosmic Joe said:

That's all well and good, but there's no Waitrose in Dundee or Methil. 

For good reasons.

[mathematics]

8 hours ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

This year it's mince pies with a twist: lemon curd, apple puree and rose water in with the currants and raisins in the pie – and Christmas tree smell, in the form of pine oil, in the sugar on top.

Not only does that sound disgusting, but also a bit Rangersy.

[RH33]

https://www.the-gazette.co.uk/news/23951799.bye-bye-mince-pies-renfrewshire-hotel-bans-christmas-treat/

 

 

[beefybake]

21 hours ago, mathematics said:

Waitrose Crumble Top Mince Pies with Cranberry and Orange

A few years back, not long after I discovered an undying love for mince pies, I was given a pack made by zany chef Heston Blumenthal. They were delicious, and unlike any mince pie I had ever tasted. They ran away with the awards that year. I’m not sure whatever happened to them. I think they had lemon in them, maybe things went sour.

Anyway, these pies from Waitrose are definitely trying to fill the gap left by Heston’s pies. They too come in packs of four, are large but shallow, have a crumble top and have a fruit kissed filling. In fact, some might even go as far as to say that they’re essentially the same as the aforementioned. They are not. While tasty enough, they are just too orange and, quite frankly, a pale imitation of a once great pie.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: THE RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB, due to being quite tasty, but nowhere near the great pie that once existed which they are pretending to be.

 

There was a parting of ways between Waitrose, and Heston Blumenthal earlier this year.

Waitrose said something like... wanting to 'go in a different direction'.

Heston didn't say much, other than a rather terse comment about how he had wonderful new plans to get on with.

I too loved those lemon mince pie things, my absolute favourite. They always shot off the shelves.

I do recall, though, that last Christmas another Waitrose mince pie from Heston Blumental was some concoction

of fig.  These barely moved at all, a bit too much on the far side for most people, me included.

I'm sure Waitrose must have been stuck with piles of these.

Maybe that contributed to the parting.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 28, 2023 by beefybake

[mathematics]

1 hour ago, RH33 said:

https://www.the-gazette.co.uk/news/23951799.bye-bye-mince-pies-renfrewshire-hotel-bans-christmas-treat/

 

 

[mathematics]

16 minutes ago, beefybake said:

I do recall, though, that last Christmas another Waitrose mince pie from Heston Blumental was some concoction of fig.

He had to go and ruin it. Still, it did allow me to get a lemon/sour gag in.

[mathematics]

Asda Extra Special Frangipane & Amaretto Mince Pies

You know who likes Frangipane? Racists. You know who likes Amaretto in food? Royalists. You know who likes Asda? Unionists. These pies have taken the shelf place of another perfectly good mince pie. They have no redeaming features and are certainly in the Section B of a two section mince pie rating. f**k off Asda.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: AIRDRIE FOOTBALL CLUB, because no one should like these pies.

 

Spoiler

Artistic License has been used here. There might be a non-racist frangipane eating, non-royalist amaretto drinking, non-unionist asda shopper out there, I just haven't met them.

 

[beefybake]

Is there a current recommendable mince pie offering that contains absolute sh*tloads of brandy, cognac, ammaretto, whisky etc, ....  ?

 

[mathematics]

2 minutes ago, beefybake said:

Is there a current recommendable mince pie offering that contains absolute sh*tloads of brandy, cognac, ammaretto, whisky etc, ....  ?

 

Not from me.

[beefybake]

1 minute ago, mathematics said:

Not from me.

 

There must be something out there that isn't smooth and comforting. I'm thinking more of grabbing the back of

the throat,  and shaking it.

[mathematics]

1 minute ago, beefybake said:

 

There must be something out there that isn't smooth and comforting. I'm thinking more of grabbing the back of

the throat,  and shaking it.

If there is, I haven’t had it.

[AnderooMFC]

22 hours ago, mathematics said:

 

  Hide contents

Artistic License has been used here. There might be a non-racist frangipane eating, non-royalist amaretto drinking, non-unionist asda shopper out there, I just haven't met them.

 

Am I the exception? Also I'm not sure how ASDA is unionist? I'm sure they're owned by Walmart which is American, and when I lived in England it was Tesco they went to every week. Tbf I go to Lidl more often these days.

[TxRover]

For those complaining about the prices of Mince Pies, I present the following:

 

That’s about £8.20.

[mathematics]

12 hours ago, AnderooMFC said:

Am I the exception? Also I'm not sure how ASDA is unionist? I'm sure they're owned by Walmart which is American, and when I lived in England it was Tesco they went to every week. Tbf I go to Lidl more often these days.

It’s a wee reminder that Asda (and B&Q, while I’m here) came out to say that prices would rise in an independent Scotland. Lucky us that prices rose like f**k in a separated UK anyway.

Spoiler

I live a 90sec. walk from Asda. My indignation doesn’t stretch so far as to not go there out of sheer laziness.

 

[mathematics]

6 hours ago, TxRover said:

For those complaining about the prices of Mince Pies, I present the following:

 

That’s about £8.20.

I’ll send you my address.

[hk blues]

7 hours ago, TxRover said:

For those complaining about the prices of Mince Pies, I present the following:

 

That’s about £8.20.

The worst thing about that isn't the price but the fact they call them tarts when the packaging literally says pies.