Hank Scorpio

Unbelievably bored.

You bastards fucked my coupon.

Training!? Do you not drive a van and deliver parcels?

Sore guts I want to do a solid shite.

I dunno what's wrong with me, i'm in such a condescending mood.

Fuck sake.

Oh for f**k sake.

The O2 website is doing my tits in. I need my account number to log in, but to get my account number, I have to log in. What the fuck!?

When that time comes, you can send me some! I've just realised there's only seating tickets left for The Enemy at the o2 in November

I'm a doughnut! I went to KDY and bought another two from the guitar shop on the high street, got upto the bus station, put my hand in my pocket for my money, and oh, what's this? Three plectrums. It was in my pocket all along. D'OH!

I've lost my one and only plectrum for good A wee trip down the high street is required I do believe.

They actually did, man, It happened to 'Sugababes' a couple of weeks back.

I am fucking starving.

Was up 4 times last night to go to the throne. My arse is like the Japanese flag.

Just had a phonecall from a team mate of mine about tomorrow. Pick up: 7:40. FUCKING. HELL.

Never seen that one coming. I was at a house party.

I had a bit of my pal's pizza earlier on, and it's made me feel sick. I've had to come home from KDY it's that bad.

I've been out of texts for 3 days, and i've still got until the 25th until I get my new ones

I love your signature!!

Those useless tossers at the college. How fucking hard is it to pay someone on the day it's due!? I'm fucking BOILING.

Sex Offenders register.

Went up to get my guitar from my mate just there, as arranged, a quarter past 11, chaps the door - nothing. Rung his phone - nothing, house phone - nothing. Then, at 20 to he comes to the door, claiming he's been in the shower, then as I went to walk through to his room to get my guitar, he told me not to. Turns out he was shagging his bird when I was sitting waiting on him at the back door. Now, I have no problems with him pelting his bird, but at least have the fucking decency to say that, and tell me to come up an hour or so later on. Cock.

FUCKING STOP IT!!

Egg pun overload.

Inter Milan v Udinese