I held off until my eldest was about 9 and then got him an Xbox. They all had Kindle fires, not iPads, youngest was younger than other two but COVID meant I got her one at 7 for school work.
I don't recall tantrums when R played Xbox live with pals. Headset meant he sometimes didn't realise how loud they were getting!
Tantrum when time up = no screen time next day so they learnt.
It's not so much the device, it's the parenting as it is with a lot of things.