Miguel Sanchez

The sort of thing I think is great but usually ends up with 28 points.

The most memorable bit of this performance - mainly because I'm subconsciously trying to block out all the homoeroticism - is the boys on the side holding themselves up on those bars on the walls. Song's shite and he's one of the most annoying looking people ever.

Quite.

A forensically bald man here. Remarkable.

Easily best and most arousing performance so far.

Ireland targeting the tiktok vote, smart.

The sort of mental entry everyone says they love but ends up with 15 points.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Germany and Lithuania the not particularly high highlights so far.

Pick one hand to put the mic in mate.

Bit ironic the intro is all about how great Sweden are at pop music then they enter the most ironically titled song possible.

Why are Israel here anyway, they aren't European.

Fired the sound guy too.

Celtic pub next door currently blasting out Roll With It with mass accompaniment. I think I found the IRA songs earlier less offensive.

I don't think getting "XVIDXXX" tattooed on you is a good idea.

I don't know who he thinks he's trying to fool.

We have a winner. "I see dead people" is in The X-Files:

This has been in my suggestions on and off for the past few weeks. Extra glad I never clicked it now.

I would have an opinion on this but I don't know what the Garrick Club is or what happens in it, so I don't care.

John Ratzenberger is in The Empire Strikes Back