DeeTillEhDeh

It should have been - the pitch was flatter than Keira Knightley's tits.

Absolutely piss-poor batting performance by England.

Bell needs to be dropped - especially if he does the same tomorrow.

I wasn't being abusive though. There's also a slight difference in that I was not an interested party - you can say "you go or the game is abandoned" because the spectators 999 times out of 1000 you are dealing with have a vested interest. It was the fact that I had no link to either team that meant he didn't know what to do. By the way, umpiring at that time wasn't like refereeing for lower level hockey. Each side usually supplied an umpire, there was no obligation for them to have any qualification. The club in question, certainly at that time, were notorious for having biased umpires. If he'd attempted to abandon the game I think the other umpire would have had something to say about it.

I've seen similar things happen in low level hockey matches. I remember watching an indoor match where one umpire kept giving everything to one team. I shouted out about one particular decision - effectively telling the umpire to stop giving his own club decisions. What followed was quite funny. He marches over and tries to red card me as a spectator. I laughed in his face. He starts to ask for my name - I tell him I'm not linked to either club, that I'm no longer an active player and that he is just following in the grand tradition of biased umpires from ABC Hockey Club. He looks bemused - says I've no right to be there - I point out that this is a Council facility and that I have every right to be there. I also then proceed to quote the laws of the game that he has blatantly got wrong. By this point the steam is coming out if his ears - and he has to be dragged away by his team. A few more spectators joined in with me - alternatively booing and cheering when the umpire got a decision right or wrong. As the game progressed you could clearly see that he was consciously avoiding us booing him to the extent that he actually gave decisions against his own team that really should have gone the other way. His team got the message though - for the next match they had someone else umpiring.

With the pitch as it is it still looks the result will be a draw.

Or write.

Did Warner model his moustache on another infamous racist?

Mine is nailed to the ceiling of a pub in Alcudia.

Please hit Warner out the ground. Can't stand the fekker.

Good comeback so far by Root and Balance - if they stay well beyond their 50s (even getting hundreds) then this match is wide open again.

It's hideous. I have always hated the stripe diagonally across a football strip - it's bit how I hate women wearing dresses with one arm missing from the dress - just doesn't look right.

England's usual top order batting collapse. Root and Balance need to stay there or they are going to crash to a defeat in 3/4 days.

But it's still gibbering pish.

Just realised I'm away when our first 3 matches are on - and in Cape Verde - so no looking for a bar to watch the Derby this time. Might just take my laptop and stream the Derby.

Each to their own. I think it's fekking hideous.

Really gutted to miss them - Dave Grohl's broke his leg falling off a stage in Sweden.

Saintees = Obsessed

The Boyd story smells like shite to me - as far as I was aware the striker we may be after is not Boyd.

Pawlett is one of the worst offenders - it's not that he dives but that he gets away with it so often.

Welcome back. Going to Tynecastle is one trip I've really missed the last few years.

I know a lot here don't rate him but on his day Roberts is unstoppable. The problem is these days are far too infrequent - something of the Billy Big time about him - maybe his spell lower down has knocked some of that out of him.

And Roberts too can play out wide.

Are you lost? Totter back to the seaside leagues where you belong chump.

This has nothing to do with right and left wing. And if you think votes that were won with brown envelopes (like Egypt's) is democratic than you clearly are either clueless or Sepp Blatter.