[Things you want to share with P&B]

I've just found out my ex is pregnant and decided to not tell me even though we are meant to be on good terms again. Apparently she's 9 weeks into it and i haven't been with her for over 4 months before any b*****d suggests it's mine worrying thing is she told me she wanted to dump her current boyfriend and start again with me two months ago! i said no as i like her boyfriend so dodged a fucking bullet there

[Nom Nom Nom]

A diabetic tapeworm is on its way.

YAY! I've been feeling quite lonely lately. Having a pet i can carry about with me would be fantastic

[Nom Nom Nom]

Bowl of frosties, corned beef sandwhich, pack of salt and vinegar crisps, 7 cocktail sausages left from Christmas and two cans of coke. Yes people i'll be dead soon

[Things you want to share with P&B]

Wow! Randomguy, epic drinking sesh sounds like it would be full of bantz. And a bench?! In town?! Awesome bantz. Lawlz.

Epic drinking indeed!!!! Can't feel my head oddly i have a headache when ive not been drinking but it's gone when i have, is this bad? And the bench was rejected! Managed to get home even though the streets are 97% ice, was like a baby reindeer getting ridden by an elephant walking on a tightrope at points but didnt fall once! Go me!

[Things you want to share with P&B]

I'm going out for a few drinks (epic drinking sesh ending up with me on some bench in the high street) with just one other mate. Feel kinda sad for doing this but can't persuade anyone else ( i have no other friends), i'm hoping to hook with some female ( anything that's fuckable) as soon as because its always quite awkward being out with just one other guy! Will report back tomorrow with my story ( if it's shit i'll just make something up) Cheers for listening!