Bravo Throbber, bravo, you went from being semi (snigger) serious about getting bored with sock jokes to me nearly spraying red wine all over my laptop.
I had a T shirt that I used to use for some reason, I think it started as a one off and then it just got reused. I was away from home and doing my own washing so no foul, no crime but even after it was washed it was tainted in my eyes and I never wore it again, it probably had a months worth of baby gravy fired into it before it was washed and then binned. Bog roll is the way ahead, if you get questioned on why you've got a roll of it (and probably a dozen empty rolls) by your bed you can always say you had a cold. No one will believe you but you can say it.