It's been 4 years since I left the Forces and I felt fine to begin with. I then started drinking seriously, had an affair and tried to top myself twice. The last straw was when I went out on a Thursday and returned on a Tuesday without a clue where I had been. my wife, who had just had our first child, gave me an ultimatum. Get help or get a divorce.
I didn't think I needed any help, all very bravado but when the bin lorry dropped a bin in town I hit the deck screaming at my wife to get me my fuckin rifle. At that point I knew she wad right, I was fucked.
I got help. I quit the drink and haven't drunk since then. I then joined the National Gulf Veterans and families Association and got help. They have councillors who specialise in cases like mine and after a week break with them and counselling it became clear that things that had happened had affected me more than I thought and they concluded I had PTSD. I am a changed man now from what I become when I left, I felt that drinking would numb my depressive thoughts and when that didn't work I wanted to end it, but I never did because deep down I knew I couldn't.
I am now in a great job, still with my lovely Wife and have two girls. I still have bad days, and can't watch certain things but I can handle things better now through different techniques I have been taught
Iknow it's not depression but PTSD is a dangerous problem that I am not scared to admit I have.