Priti priti priti Patel

Have the host come out as gay. Wait, no, still boring as f**k.

That's my fetish

I work in law and am trying to get out as quickly as I can without having to go to another office job (i.e. early retirement). Can't face working in an office, staring at a screen, doing uninspiring work surrounded by two faced shit c***s for the rest of my life. A few years back I was doing Deliveroo on my bike during a lean spell. Keeping fit, whizzing around central London being an arse to taxi drivers, always having backup from other delivery people if it got heated on the road, wee chats while waiting at each restaurant with other Deliveroo/Uber people, making pals with foreign staff who can barely speak English at your regular haunts, flirting with basically any female who answered the door regardless of how she looked, getting to explore all the little side streets and see different sides of the city, coming home full of endorphins to a girlfriend who appreciated the fact I was putting in manual labour to pay the bills. I loved it. I tell people in law that I was on Deliveroo and they look at me like it must have been awful. It's all about perspective, and I know which one I preferred.

Umm, did anyone see my post at half time predicting 4.5+ goals and Saints to win? It's mysteriously disappeared. I definitely didn't delete it when Saints changed formation and I got nervous....

In my early days, I worked in a law firm where the entire office of about 60 people was like this. 5.05 pm and it was empty. The Head of Office was a psychopathic c**t and the firm won the industry's Golden Turd award for worst place to work (that's a genuine award), so it wasn't surprising.

I am absolutely phoning it in at work as I wait to move elsewhere and no-one seems to mind. We have to record all of our time to different client files. That means you should be recording 6-7 hours work per day. I have been averaging about 2 hours per day. Start time is 9.30, I have been coming in at 10.45 ish. A more senior colleague sent me an arsey email the other day after I had to bail on a task (six minutes after first accepting the task). "Please check your calendar before committing in future", and I replied, "thanks for that excellent tip!". No reply, no quiet words from anyone, the woman's known for being rude anyway. Got two weeks of this left and I intend to enjoy it to the max.... Well aware this makes me the work bellend, but who cares.

It may not last and that's okay, too. Life is about ups and downs. But I would suggest taking a note of what's making you feel good right now and seeing if you can put things in place to replicate that long term. It seems like it might be having time to yourself, or the affirmation of being accepted, or the optimism that comes with a new opportunity, or motivation from now having a goal to aim for - or probably, a blend of these. Think about how you can make these feelings a part of your life more generally. Just to illustrate: time for yourself - aiming for a job where you can work part-time even if it means a slightly lower level of disposable income; using your holidays for lots of 3/4 day weekends; going out in the evenings for a walk or a swim. being accepted - think about things you don't like in yourself and learn to accept them; join a club where you will constantly meet new people/show different sides of yourself, e.g. theatre or hillwalking. new opportunity - aim for a profession which is 'project based' so you are often moving from one opportunity to the next. having a goal to aim for - start climbing Munros, or collecting the 42, going to the gym, etc and make sure you give yourself attainable goals so you often feel a very present sense of motivation. e.g. with the Munros, buy yourself a nice bottle of whisky and only allow yourself a dram at the top of every 10th Munro. Those are just some suggestions to illustrate the idea of a) identifying the fundamental feelings/processes that are helping you feel good, and b) replicating those feelings/processes and making them a more permanent part of your life.

Tickets on sale for the Southampton game on Wednesday night starting at £25. Think I might do that! Any views from those who have been on the best place to sit? Not that many tickets available so I have plumped for the top tier of the west stand, between half-way line and the South Stand. £26.75 including fees.

Wid FC

Sounds interesting, do you have a link?

Not as wrong as that time you forgot he was man of the match.

No, I agree with you, a player who had shed a lot of weight and got back to semi-fitness seven weeks ago has then plateaued, making him good enough for the bench but not as good as an 18 year old who has played one game for us and a CM out of position.

You are your own worst enemy. Have a bit of humility Albert Einstein

Right, so neither of us really know. I don't think he looked "basically the same" at Dundee United as compared with Ayr. He was clearly fitter and performing much better v Ayr. A similar number of weeks have passed so actually, taking your approach and assuming there's a linear trajectory, he would be even fitter now.

It's not an assertion, he isn't fit. even if what you say is absolutely bang on correct, it's still an assertion. Or do you want to argue that without evidence too?

Er, the fact that he isn't fit. How do you square that with the fact he is fit? (Easy to make assertions without evidence isn't it)

What makes you think Semple isn't fit?

https://mobile.twitter.com/officialdafc/status/1223627290602561537

Expected

Unexpected

Thing is, Semple clearly has enough ability to stand out at this level and the potential to succeed at a much higher level. That's been proven and his issues since re-signing have had nothing to do with ability. Understandable for AJ to be disappointed after what happened at Dundee United, but to refuse to play him when he's fully fit and we don't have any alternatives is inexplicable.

The manager clearly has it in for Semple despite his excellent performance last time out. That lineup is absolute cack.

Seen in Parliament Square tonight

Did anyone else join in? It gets vaneer and vaneer the more I hear it.