Maybe she can be visited for a conjugal visit.
I would still gladly pay £140 for a piss up out with my mates then a night of swapping bodily fluids with some random buxom wench!
How many times have you went out, spent a fortune, see your team get pumped bandy by a bunch of farmers gone back to Glasgow had a shite night out and then went home only to find youd spend three figures easily. The above story sounds a much better option!