HGG

I really should mind my own business more, but I'm not going to just now . That's one of the reasons why formula feeding is known to lead to obesity in later life. There are physical reasons, obviously, but a baby is often "taught" (I use the word loosely speaking as tiny babies can't really learn like that - maybe "encouraged" would be a better word) to finish what's in the bottle. I've seen babies roused from a sleepy state, bottles jiggled, encouraging words spoken - all in the name of getting the baby to "finish". This helps the baby's stomach to distend further than it would with formula feeding anyway and also begins the habit of eating everything that's in front of you whether you're hungry or not. Not regulating/knowing what your baby is having can be a great thing. We trust a woman's body for anywhere between 8-10 months to grow a baby from scratch, nourish it and do what's best for it. Why can we suddenly not trust it when we can see the baby with our bare eyes?

Me, me. You mentioned it to me and I didn't tell you you're off your head!

I did realise you probably weren't an alias. I'm our resident breastfeeding expert it would seem . I try to avoid being confrontational on this and more challenge statements appropriately to provoke thought and not reaction. I have no wish to induce a negative response in discussions about such a sensitive and important subject. I don't expect everyone to understand all the issues at hand. It's taken me six years to get where I am just now. I don't ask people to feel comfortable in situations where they just don't - that would be unreasonable of me - but do ask that both sides of the coin be considered. You've done that rather graciously here. : As for your stepmum story - :lol:

Firing

Here I am. You called? You already knew when posting that, I think, that it was going to be contraversial. My first thought when I read it was that you're an alias and actually looking for some sort of provoked response from me just here. I think almost everyone who posts on GN will will know fine I'd reply to that kind of attack on someone feeding their baby in public, whatever your personal opinion may be. I will put my thoughts in here. None of it is meant to offend, but there are various things that I think are appropriate to point out. Can I ask what would have been preferable to you in that situation? You've mentioned that there was a large toilet nearby. As a mother myself there is *no way* I would allow my children to eat *anything at all* in a public toilet. I certainly wouldn't eat in there myself. Would you? That's an issue of very poor hygiene standards. Would you find it acceptable for a bottle feeding mother to sit in the toilet, ostracised from society as though doing something shameful to be hidden? What of the other people on the train who may have needed the toilet? Some babies may only take ten minutes to feed, however others may take 40 minutes to take the same amount. Is another small child needing the toilet, or a pregnant woman, or anyone else simply to pee themselves or end up in pain/discomfort because someone doesn't like the sight of the breast they can't see in the baby's mouth? That would seem a little selfish and isn't the purpose of a "toilet". You mention that she could have asked you if she minded. What if you had? What would she have told her baby? Would the emotional turmoil for both her and her baby of leaving him screaming and unfed been worth it simply to placate some stranger who could have looked away? Should she also have asked every other person around her and brought it to the attention of the entire carriage? To me, this would feel far less discreet than simply feeding the baby. What about the baby's right to be fed? A baby has no concept of time. If he's hungry then he's hungry now. Not in an hour's time. He can't speak up and tell anyone that he's starting to get a bit peckish so that they have warning and he can't be made to be hungry when you want him to be. So far as the baby knows, if he isn't fed now then he might never be and the unpleasant feeling he's experiencing won't go away. That sounds pretty distressing to me. You call the mother a "selfish bint". Would she have been less selfish to put a baby through such distress and negative emotions, which there is some good well-researched evidence to show is likely to be to the detriment of the child later in life? Is it selfish of you to expect the baby *and the mother* to go through that simply because, in your own words, you don't know where to look? The power of other people to undermine a mother's ability to breastfeed her baby is very underestimated. Whilst I gather from your post that you didn't say anything to this mother I do wonder why you feel the need to then come on here and fuel an already raging public fire in a society which finds it hard to see a mother sit and quietly feed her baby. It's a very emotive subject and when I speak to mums antenatally the one thing that comes up so often is feeding in public. "How do I manage to get out of the house?", "Where can I feed my baby?", "Will other people not come over and tell me to stop?" are all questions I get asked. All this *before* a woman has even had her baby? What a sad society we have in our country. With this in mind, it's little wonder that our breastfeeding rates are so low compared to many other developed countries as well as third world countries. With that come the poorer health statistics, increased public spending on "convenience" foods, increased obesity and greater demand on our National Health Service. On the subject of "seeing" anything, there is very little *to* actually see if breastfeeding is done discreetly. Not only do other people not want to see, but the majority of mothers are actually concerned that strangers don't see their breasts either. Whilst the baby is actually feeding the breast is in the baby's mouth. You'd often see more flesh on a woman wearing a low cut tight fitted top than you would a mum feeding her baby. I'd love to know where the *real* problem in all this is. My own insight, and that of others around me, says that we live in a society which has become reliant upon bottles and sees these as the norm, the accepted way of feeding a baby. Were we to grow up in a culture where breastfeeding was an integral part of life there wouldn't even be any need to mention it when a mum was breastfeeding. It would be a non-event. Simple things come into play here. In soaps, for instance, the regular way we see babies fed is by bottle. If a character *is* shown to breastfeed their baby then a fuss is made or there's at least *some* mention - if it was the norm then why would it need any mention at all? It's even in children's programmes, starting the notion at such a young age that breastfeeding isn't to be shown/seen. There's very little balance. Then there's the formula milk industry and their adverts claiming (borderline illegally and downright untrue really) how close their products are to breastmilk and making us believe that their milks are great. I mean, what point is there left to breastfeeding when we have all this to hand? The pressure put on mothers when it comes to breastfeeding is enormous and despite it being described as "natural" and "instinctive" it can downright hard work for some, particularly at first. It can be an uphill struggle for parents to continue to feed - everyone has an opinion and many people aren't afraid to give it. Other people in the same carriage of the train as you may have been critical too, but wondering why on earth she didn't feed her baby sooner so they didn't have to endure a baby screaming for the length of time they did. Whatever she did would be wrong by someone and it actually isn't really anyone else's business! Within the bigger picture, is it really worth all the fuss? Or can a mum just get on with doing what her instinct tells her for once and care for her baby to raise him into a more stable member of society?

Google

Realm

burgundy

inappropriate

Wrong

queue

Childlike (I'm afraid that's me for the night - just realised it's almost 2am! Night all.)

Bunch

Monster

Dark

Secrets

Reliable

B) Cheers. Ayrgirl - we reined it back in, don't worry! At least we kept the game going while digressing. Randomness

Cheers! My job does involve helping parents to gain confidence in breastfeeding and their ability to do so, yes. That's where the support groups I run come into it, as well as my work on the NCT's national helpline . I help people to overcome challenges they face with breastfeeding, both physical and emotional. It can be a very emotive subject and is something which pretty much everyone has something to say about - particularly to tired, emotional, hormonal and sometimes bewildered parents of a new baby. Very helpful! I also provide classes for parents antenatally, telling them what bf is all about, how it works, how to recognise if it's going ok, what to do if it isn't, etc, as well as providing space for them to ask any questions and talk about it openly. I spend last weekend in London doing just that. It was absolutely fab! Two of them were the best classes I've ever had. Sorry folks - I get carried away sometimes! Thermodynamic B)

Before this gets out of hand, and to clarify, I'm a Breastfeeding Counsellor. It's the best job in the world and I'm so glad I stumbled into it. Chemistry

I did indeed . How cool was that! I want to know how they made that cream at the end to go with the strawberries. I'm also guessing you don't know what I do for a living. Udder

milk

feeding

more

Uncle Albert