Doctor Manhattan

Surely?

I'm not sure I've ever seen that written down before, let alone on a football forum. It sounds more like an old maiden auntie writing on a Barbara Cartland fan page.

It's better than his last abomination, which merely accentuated the hideous, malformed asymmetry of his weird little noggin.

Anyway, enough of this thread now, time to head over and see if the Jambos can put even more of a shine on Celtic's Sunday. Just think, this season could have been "The Eleven".

Gracious as always in victory, but sadly no bites yet?

Has Bevis ever played left back?

It's got me stumped, but here you go...

Red hands across the water?

It's got to be a bluff, surely, some sort of sick mind game, like the Milgram experiments. Just how desperate are our dark blue pals?

I can't be arsed going back and actually counting, but phrases along the lines of "How did Watt miss that?" cropped up fairly regularly on the match threads too, I suppose that's why we could afford them in the first place.

I think you're morally obliged to put at least 3 or 4 goals past them now, and boot Chris Cadden black & blue while you're about it.

Well, it's early days yet, but it looks unlikely that we're going to come third in the 2022 calendar year league table.

Is there any food on Earth that isn't improved by being put in a nice well-fired morning roll? If this isn't already a Tik Tok challenge there's some monetisation potential there, surely. I'm off to make a start with a bridie & baked beans combo for lunch.

A post on Steelmen yesterday read: I wasn't comfortable with a World All Stars eleven that included two English players, or indeed any eleven that included McGinley, so a cultured-yet-brutal South American defender would certainly tick all the boxes.

I was going to enquire about whether your own pectoral plumage matched up to Edwina the Eagle there, but it's all just too much of a minefield in these gender fluid times.

Especially if you're also at all interested in an occasional heads down Juggernaut-style mad rampage up the wing until he either runs out of park, or realises the ball has been left somewhere 30 yards behind him. Oh, and he can also apparently levitate in the opponents' six yard box, although he doesn't do that nearly often enough for my liking.

Must confess, I was thinking more about Saturday. Also wrong about the "scoring twice now" bit, which is both inconsistent and disappointing

Down to 10 - if recent history is any guide we're scoring twice now. Also on the plus side, maybe Slattery gets a game now?

If you want to feel (a lot) better about this game, just spend a minute or two reading the last few pages of the St Johnstone v Dundee thread.

I may be misremembering this due to (a) it being 12 years ago and (b) being somewhat blootered at the time, but didn't hat-trick hero Nish actually have to present the MOTM champagne TO Jutkiewicz? Which was even funnier.

You're not wrong there!

Maybe someone in our Award Winning™ Social Media Team DID listen to the audio after all.

It's as if the bisected heads of two completely different people have been superglued together. If symmetry is indeed a factor in determining attractiveness, then the haircut is the least of his worries.

As blatant as it was pointless. He probably took the wee lad's milk money too.