Thane of Cawdor

This is flouting: This is flaunting:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/07/politicians-and-public-figures-return-to-medical-careers-to-help-coronavirus-effort There must be a fair few medically qualified MPs who could follow Varadkar's example, although you might not want this fucker at your bedside.

Polarised views on the prospect of Johnson shuffling off his mortal coil. The saintly minority on here see things like John Donne: any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. The less than saintly majority think this is metaphysical shite and that Johnson is, as he admitted to Eddie Mair, "a nasty piece of work". But that's just his character deficiencies and they don't affect me. His politics however, do affect me and mine to some extent, and many others to a much worse extent. He's a glib amoral person who has lied about anything and everything to get his own way whether in personal relationships or in assuming the highest political office. It's gratuitously nasty to wish death on anyone, but if Johnson is headed to the Underworld it certainly wouldn't cause me any grief.

Oven-ready - like his Brexit. Johnson's a Classicist, looks like the kid may be named Postumus.

Catherine Calderwood did an incredibly stupid and irresponsible thing, twice. She should at least have offered her resignation. However, it should be remembered that one of her predecessors as Chief Medical Officer spawned Susan Calman. Unless, and until, she does something similarly heinous, she should be considered with a degree of sympathy.

Knight of the Long Knives.

Iain Banks would have found that amusing.

Not all of the nurses pictured have been lookers, but that's a bit harsh.

Jeremiah, aka The Weeping Prophet. According to a tradition that is preserved in extrabiblical sources, he was stoned to death by his exasperated fellow countrymen.

Which were both less than 50,000 by the way. The 1999/2000 Swine Flu pandemic caused around 20,000 deaths (easily searched, links to the Independent, the ONS and the BBC all cite the 20,000 figure; the Guardian has the highest figure at 22,000) and the 2014/15 figure often cited at being around 44,000 is the total excess winter mortality figure as defined by the ONS as the number of deaths in November to February compared to the prior three months and includes all deaths (there was a particular cold snap that winter which exacerbated things); there were also several strains of flu going round at that time including H5N1 and H1N1 as well as a Middle Eastern Coronavirus which wasn't seen as a big problem as it was mild. On top of all that there was a highly publicised problem with the flu vaccine that winter, with it only being effective in around 3% of patients given the injection rather than the usual 45-60%. Its all available again from multiple sources including the WHO, the BBC, the Telegraph, the Independent and the ONS. I don't think this is how excess winter mortality is calculated. It's the difference between the number of deaths occurring in the winter period December-March and the average of the preceding and succeeding four-month periods.

The Masque of the Red Death (Edgar Allan Poe) is quite short if brevity is the main criterion. On the other hand, The Decameron (Giovanni Boccaccio,) does go on a bit. I thought The Plague was an allegory of Nazi occupation of France, so things could be worse, unless Jeremiah's forebodings are borne out.

Email today from travel company headed: Breathtaking destinations for your bucket list. They might want to revisit parts of their marketing strategy.

David Icke thinks it's a plot to concentrate all power in the hands of the 1% to the detriment of small and medium enterprises and to facilitate a cull of the elderly. Watched his musings on Youtube. Would probably have been better advised to listen to Dave Beasant's thoughts on the subject.

Are you still dancin' wi' Ginger Rogers?

Just had a text from local surgery citing government guidelines restricting prescriptions to 28 days medication at a time.

Coping strategy: Washing hands like her. Self-isolating like him. Self-medicating like him.

I feel like I'm fixin' to die - Country Joe & The Fish

Sensitive pronoun use. Typical of the gallantry on this site.

Supports Leeds Rhino's.

Not a time to be obsessing over money. But put it in your locker.

"So long, and thanks for all the fish" again. Dolphins (even that one) outlast morons.

Waste of money. We'll all soon be shitting bricks. A dustpan and bruhs should be all you need.

Finally caught up with the thread. But, not for long. See analogy below. For avoidance of doubt, I am Achilles, the fleet-footed hero, and the rest of you are the lowly tortoise. The Greek philosopher Zeno wrote a book of paradoxes nearly 2,500 years ago. “Achilles and the Tortoise” is the easiest to understand, but it’s devilishly difficult to explain away. For those who haven’t already learned it, here are the basics of Zeno’s logic puzzle, as we understand it after generations of retelling: Achilles, the fleet-footed hero of the Trojan War, is engaged in a race with a lowly tortoise, which has been granted a head start. Achilles’ task initially seems easy, but he has a problem. Before he can overtake the tortoise, he must first catch up with it. While Achilles is covering the gap between himself and the tortoise that existed at the start of the race, however, the tortoise creates a new gap. The new gap is smaller than the first, but it is still a finite distance that Achilles must cover to catch up with the animal. Achilles then races across the new gap. To Achilles’ frustration, while he was scampering across the second gap, the tortoise was establishing a third. The upshot is that Achilles can never overtake the tortoise. No matter how quickly Achilles closes each gap, the slow-but-steady tortoise will always open new, smaller ones and remain just ahead of the Greek hero.

Tranny Danger, seemingly.

Equity release, travel insurance for pre-existing conditions and surprisingly affordable funeral plans. Listen to Radio 4 instead (except for the astonishingly ubiquitous The Archers).