Pregnancy And Parenting

[Jacksgranda]

Grandchild nr 15 arrived on Christmas Eve - Grace Elizabeth, 6 lbs. All well. All siblings delighted. Will see how long that lasts for the 8 year old! Haven't seen her yet as I've been laid low with a chest infection and have been barely able to get out of bed, never mind anything else. 25 years between eldest grandchild and youngest.

[heedthebaa]

7 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Grandchild nr 15 arrived on Christmas Eve - Grace Elizabeth, 6 lbs. All well. All siblings delighted. Will see how long that lasts for the 8 year old! Haven't seen her yet as I've been laid low with a chest infection and have been barely able to get out of bed, never mind anything else. 25 years between eldest grandchild and youngest.

Congrats JG 

[Rugster]

21 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Grandchild nr 15 arrived on Christmas Eve - Grace Elizabeth, 6 lbs. All well. All siblings delighted. Will see how long that lasts for the 8 year old! Haven't seen her yet as I've been laid low with a chest infection and have been barely able to get out of bed, never mind anything else. 25 years between eldest grandchild and youngest.

Congratulations!

[Jacksgranda]

On ‎25‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 09:33, sjc said:

Unorthodox Christmas here in Japan spending most of the day at the hospital for Sakuras full body scan.......no relapse or metastasis  comes as a very welcome Christmas gift  

Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Maybe unorthodox, but very welcome news, I'm sure! 

[19QOS19]

Wee one is at a screaming/screeching stage it would appear. It's driving me nuts. It physically hurts my ears so it then turns me into a crabbit git. It's clearly her getting ready for the tantrum stage as it generally occurs when we take her away from something she was doing (that she shouldn't have been!). She'll just sit and do this for a wee while.

How did folk deal with this? I don't think I'll ever give in to her tantrums when the time comes. My niece used to kick off big style whem she was younger and her idiot parents* would instantly give in to her. This resulted in the wee one screaming and shouting for years anytime she never got her way as she knew it worked. At an age where they can communicate I'll find it easy but just now it's difficult as she can't be spoken to. She has a wee idea what "No" means though. Did folk just ignore even at this young age?

Her screech reminds me of Jurassic Park when the baby T-Rex hatches but with added ear piercing sharpness.

* Morons on in general who had a child for a fashion accessory at a young age and didn't realise there was more to it than pushing a pram. Their combined mental age is about 13 year old as well unfortunately.

[Dindeleux]

Wee one is at a screaming/screeching stage it would appear. It's driving me nuts. It physically hurts my ears so it then turns me into a crabbit git. It's clearly her getting ready for the tantrum stage as it generally occurs when we take her away from something she was doing (that she shouldn't have been!). She'll just sit and do this for a wee while.

How did folk deal with this? I don't think I'll ever give in to her tantrums when the time comes. My niece used to kick off big style whem she was younger and her idiot parents* would instantly give in to her. This resulted in the wee one screaming and shouting for years anytime she never got her way as she knew it worked. At an age where they can communicate I'll find it easy but just now it's difficult as she can't be spoken to. She has a wee idea what "No" means though. Did folk just ignore even at this young age?

Her screech reminds me of Jurassic Park when the baby T-Rex hatches but with added ear piercing sharpness.

* Morons on in general who had a child for a fashion accessory at a young age and didn't realise there was more to it than pushing a pram. Their combined mental age is about 13 year old as well unfortunately.

How old is she? My wee one is 9 months and I find myself worrying about doing exactly what you say - giving in too easy to her crying and trying to comfort/satisfy her by giving her stuff to try to make her stop crying.

[19QOS19]

How old is she? My wee one is 9 months and I find myself worrying about doing exactly what you say - giving in too easy to her crying and trying to comfort/satisfy her by giving her stuff to try to make her stop crying.

She's almost 14 months. I'm not worried about giving into her as I know I won't because I've seen what happens in the long term if you give in in the short term.

I'm just unsure if I should be ignoring her or saying "no"/"that's enough" etc. at this each as she doesn't really understand what that means so to her it's just me looking at her angrily and saying gibberish. At least when she's able to understand I'll be able to explain why what she is doing is wrong.


(To give you an example of how used to getting her own way my niece was/how I know I won't give in to tantrums. We took her to a local parade a few years back. She had been doing something wrong and I told her if she continued she'd be going home. She continued to misbehave and I stuck by my word. She naturally flung herself to the ground and started screaming so I picked her up and started to walk home. It was about a 15 minute walk and she screamed the whole way (and continued when we got home) but I thought there is no point making 'threats' and not seeing them through. Her behaviour was ridiculous that day but the reason for it being she had learned by that point if she behaved like that her morons would give in. So tantrums won't work on me with Aila, I'm just not sure the best approach at this specific age really).

[RH33]

I’d say ignore it, ensure she’s safe and walk away.

My youngest still throws awful tantrums when she’s tired. I still ignore her but I’ve seen me walk away and sit in the close or garden. 

[ayrmad]

23 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

 

 

She's almost 14 months. I'm not worried about giving into her as I know I won't because I've seen what happens in the long term if you give in in the short term.

I'm just unsure if I should be ignoring her or saying "no"/"that's enough" etc. at this each as she doesn't really understand what that means so to her it's just me looking at her angrily and saying gibberish. At least when she's able to understand I'll be able to explain why what she is doing is wrong.


(To give you an example of how used to getting her own way my niece was/how I know I won't give in to tantrums. We took her to a local parade a few years back. She had been doing something wrong and I told her if she continued she'd be going home. She continued to misbehave and I stuck by my word. She naturally flung herself to the ground and started screaming so I picked her up and started to walk home. It was about a 15 minute walk and she screamed the whole way (and continued when we got home) but I thought there is no point making 'threats' and not seeing them through. Her behaviour was ridiculous that day but the reason for it being she had learned by that point if she behaved like that her morons would give in. So tantrums won't work on me with Aila, I'm just not sure the best approach at this specific age really).

 

 

I wouldn't underestimate what a 14 month old understands, they're all different but some understand well before that age.

[Lisa Cuddy]

32 minutes ago, ayrmad said:

I wouldn't underestimate what a 14 month old understands, they're all different but some understand well before that age.

Bang on. 

 

A firm "no" is as much about the way it's said as what is said. Believe me, she'll know that you're not happy about what she's doing. If that doesn't work, remove her from what she's doing and she will learn quickly by association exactly what "no" means. 

[ayrmad]

1 minute ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

Bang on. 

 

A firm "no" is as much about the way it's said as what is said. Believe me, she'll know that you're not happy about what she's doing. If that doesn't work, remove her from what she's doing and she will learn quickly by association exactly what "no" means. 

Parenting is not easy, for a start every kid is different in loads of ways, even doing what is correct or what you think is correct isn't always the right way for a particular child, the worst mistake I made was preparing one of them too well for school, unfortunately closed-mindedness, over eagerness,ego or some other shit had me thinking I was doing what was best for him, I was wrong big style.

[19QOS19]

Bang on. 
 
A firm "no" is as much about the way it's said as what is said. Believe me, she'll know that you're not happy about what she's doing. If that doesn't work, remove her from what she's doing and she will learn quickly by association exactly what "no" means. 

She knows what no means certainly. The wee shite was forever at the xmas tree and practically waited for the "No!" before she would move away. It doesn't really do anything when she's screaming though unfortunately.

[ayrmad]

30 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

 

 

She knows what no means certainly. The wee shite was forever at the xmas tree and practically waited for the "No!" before she would move away. It doesn't really do anything when she's screaming though unfortunately.

 

 

Sometimes you just have to let them scream themselves out, I'm fortunate that the screaming makes no impact on me for a lengthy period if they are my grandkids, not lasting as long recently due to circumstances but that will pass.

[RH33]

They are all so different. My middle one the most sensible person in this house. I rarely have to tell her off, but when I do she breaks her wee heart.

The youngest one is Teflon, couldn’t give a flying f**k if she’s in trouble, it’s totally infuriating!

[Lisa Cuddy]

1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said:

 

 

She knows what no means certainly. The wee shite was forever at the xmas tree and practically waited for the "No!" before she would move away. It doesn't really do anything when she's screaming though unfortunately.

 

 

They do that as well. Perfectly normal boundary pushing. The screaming though, you are best ignoring. As long as she's in a safe place, leave her to it. You're doing right. 

[ayrmad]

4 minutes ago, Rowan said:

They are all so different. My middle one the most sensible person in this house. I rarely have to tell her off, but when I do she breaks her wee heart.

The youngest one is Teflon, couldn’t give a flying f**k if she’s in trouble, it’s totally infuriating!

In my experience you could do everything correct as far any professional will tell you and still make an arse of it with one of your children.

[Jacksgranda]

1 minute ago, ayrmad said:

In my experience you could do everything correct as far any professional will tell you and still make an arse of it with one all of your children.

 

[19QOS19]

Sometimes you just have to let them scream themselves out, I'm fortunate that the screaming makes no impact on me for a lengthy period if they are my grandkids, not lasting as long recently due to circumstances but that will pass.

You've mentioned circumstances and I won't ask what they are but on that subject both my parents would let us cry it out they said but when it comes to the grandchild they can't stomach the sound of her crying they say [emoji38]

[ayrmad]

Just now, 19QOS19 said:

 

 

You've mentioned circumstances and I won't ask what they are but on that subject both my parents would let us cry it out they said but when it comes to the grandchild they can't stomach the sound of her crying they say

 

 

Everyone is different, I used to be football daft, I could be playing football in the living room with balloons, balls of varying weights, be as loud as I liked and I can't ever remember my dad telling me to make less noise so he could listen to the TV or anything like that, he made mistakes in other ways but ultimately he done what was his best with me and my brother and sisters.

[Lisa Cuddy]

1 hour ago, ayrmad said:

In my experience you could do everything correct as far any professional will tell you and still make an arse of it with one of your children.

No one ever gets anything 100% right. They are, as you say, all different!