The Wrestling Thread

[#Gary]

What? Did you just reply to the email confirming the order, ima need to get on this.

Nah, customer service bit at the top of the page then Contact Us.

It still says Processing now, and I haven't had an email reply from them so it could be entirely coincidence that it changed.

[Bowers]

Summer slam prediction: Punk wins with cena believing HHH screwed him over thus allowing for a small heel turn for cena who could then face off against either HHH or sheamus(since he is now a face and best buddies with HHH) for the next few months until the rock comes back. This would also allow for Punk not to lose the push he has had and he would then go off to have a feud with del rio .

[euanQOS]

CM PUNK!!!

[#Gary]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00jpw7j

[Shuggie_Murray7]

As noted before, Melina was not allowed into the building at last night's WWE RAW in San Jose. The feeling was that there would have been major drama about her release if they would have let her into the backstage area. The entire WWE security team was informed not to allow her entry. There was a concern that Melina would physically cause a problem backstage.

Also as noted earlier, WWE officials weren't happy with Melina joining John Morrison over the weekend at RAW live events. Officials are very down on Morrison over the incident, feeling that it was a huge breach of backstage etiquette.

Morrison's current deal with WWE is up in a few months and the recent heat adds to speculation that WWE won't resign him. One source adds that Melina may have burnt her bridge with WWE after her reactions online to being released.

Get it up the pair of them

[#Gary]

If it helps get JoMo released, then she should just keep trying.

And what with SummerSlam this Sunday, WTF are there only 3 matches on the card so far?!

Edited August 9, 2011 by garymcc1874

[Shuggie_Murray7]

And what with SummerSlam this Sunday, WTF are there only 3 matches on the card so far?!

From LordsofPain.com:

Regarding SummerSlam only having 4 matches announced, word is that as of yesterday, that's all the matches WWE had finalized. Creative had more matches lined up two weeks ago than they did yesterday at RAW. It's expected that 2 or 3 more matches will be added but there's also talk of having longer matches than usual.

Longer matches can't be a bad thing...especially for the main event.

[forehead7]

If it helps get JoMo released, then she should just keep trying.

And what with SummerSlam this Sunday, WTF are there only 3 matches on the card so far?!

Cena/Punk, Orton/Christian, Sheamus/Henry and the wumen's match.

Did Alex Riley not challenge Ziggler for SS?

Probably some sort of IC match as well, who's big Zeke been feuding with(I haven't watched SD in about a month.

[berwick-the-unbeatable]

Terrible booking, lets sh*t on, what is supposed to be, the WWF's biggest threat ever by having one guy single handedly take them all out.

You taking the piss? This is the solution to the riots

[Zizou-5]

You taking the piss? This is the solution to the riots

Literally my facebook status last night. :lol:

[forehead7]

Nah, customer service bit at the top of the page then Contact Us.

It still says Processing now, and I haven't had an email reply from them so it could be entirely coincidence that it changed.

Mine is "processing" now after I sent the email as well, when did you order yours? I can't remember if it was pending beforehand though probably was since I wouldn't have emailed if it was processing.

[DomDom]

Team ICW vs. The Gold Label, Glasgow Street Fight, Nevermind the Baws Here's the ICW

It's BT Gunn, Kid Fite, Jack Jester and Chris Renfrew vs. "Darkside" James Scott, Lionheart, Red Lightning and Wolfgang.

It's probably one of the best examples of an ICW match yet. No commentary so you get the absolutely nuclear crowd in full. The action is mental right from the word go, although doesn't ever verge into "ultraviolence" untill the very last spot. I clocked it around ****1/4 and I'm not sure it was the best match on the show, but as the blowoff for a fued that lasted almost two years, it was perfect.

[city_gord]

I've only just discovered this thread, been a good read.

I got sky sports back a few months ago and have watched Raw on a sort of casual basis since then.

At Summerslam I think that Punk will have Cena out for the count, and HHH will go to make the three count stopping short before he gets to 3. Punk stands up to confront him, HHH hits a pedigree and places a still passed out Cena on top of Punk for the win. This gets the belt on Cena to go and fued with Del Rio or whoever, leaving Punk to have an ongoing fued with HHH. This would mean Triple H turning heel and coming out on Raw saying how much he loves "this business" (he will say this a lot) and how Punk disrespected it by leaving with the belt. He will also blether on about how he has to gain revenge for Punk calling him a doofus, slating Stephanie etc...

Can't really see this happening though, as the WWE would probably see this as making Cena look weak.

[Shuggie_Murray7]

I've just been reading an "A-Z of Internet Wrestling" which I found pretty funny, I'll post a few of my favourites (it's a bit dated as it's from 2006)

Arn Anderson

Invented the SPINEBUSTER~! Undoubtedly the most talented member of the Four Horsemen. Got stabbed in the ass with a pair of scissors by Sid Vicious repeatedly.

Austin Aries

A wrestler Internet fans mark for because he is so indie it hurts. Often brought up in TNA-bashing arguments, for example, “TNA is so gay because they don’t push Austin Aries.” This is ironic because Austin Aries sells like he’s just taken a sequoia tree branch in the ass.

Bret Hart

Known as “Brett” by his loving fans. Apparently The Best There Is, The Best There Was and The Best There Ever Will Be, despite the fact that Bret has a long history of being pwned by the following people: Bad News Brown, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Bill Goldberg, Vince Russo and bicycle handlebars. Has the most militant fans in the galaxy: essentially an army made up of barely-literate Canadian supersmarks who will take the most trivial criticism of their hero as if you’ve raped their dead mother. Had the worst hair ever. Was the greatest technical wrestla evar, apart from the fact he wasn’t a technical wrestler. Never fucking shuts up. Murdered his own brother.

Chris Benoit

A Dynamite Kid wannabe. Undoubtedly the most talented member of the Four Horsemen.

Christian Cage

A midcard wrestler who became The Saviour of TNA when he single-handedly increased their PPV buyrates by about 0.0008 buys. Became popular in WWE by trying to copy The Rock to comedic effect, a gimmick he has never changed. Some people still think he’s better than Edge.

Hardcore wrestling

Pure bullshit.

HHH

Used to be the worst wrestla evUHr, but then he brought back d-X and became one of the greatest of all tyme. Likes to act like a teenager on camera despite being a father in his early forties, which is creepy but probably better than his old gimmick of cutting rambling, grunting promos that were like being stuck in a resthold for twenty minutes. The Ultimate Politikar and therefore scum. Once helped to pwn Bret Hart

Hulk Hogan

The worst wrestler eva. A sixty-seven year-old paedophile with a receding hairline. Universally hated by smarks because he was a politikar. Anti-smarks will tell you that he was actually a good wrestler and rooled Japan in the ‘80s, something that is about as true as Santa Claus. Beloved by marks and sufferers of Down Syndrome. Invented the gimmick. Once pwned Bret Hart.

Kurt Freakin’ Angle

A fucktard who won an Olympic Gold Medal in Freestyle Twattery with a ‘broken freakin’ neck’ (a muscular twinge he slept off the night before). Generated many lulz when he joined the WWE with his geek like promos that appealed to the IWC before breaking his freakin’ neck repeatedly. Thus, he turned to viagra, purposely getting the pills stuck in his throat so as to strengthen his neck. Two adverse effects were that he became a mark for himself and even more of a fucktard. A recent and shocking interview with Bubba Ray Dudley revealed that he was shoving 60-75 viagra pills down his oesophagus daily. It was theorised that these were from Vince’s private stack, which is why Vince fired him and he turned up on TNA later that day. Is a huge fan of the Big Show’s penis. Soon to die from freakin’ viagra overdoses.

Lex Luger

Lazy worker who was given failed pushes by every company ever. Notable for injecting steroids directly into his brain. Cut what is unanimously referred to as the worst promo eva, during which he failed to say “despicable”, shouted a lot and jobbed to a T-shirt.

Matt Hardy

Wrestler that nobody cared about for years until his dick became so limp that his girlfriend, Lita, had enough of his ineptness between the sheets and hooked up with Edge. Hearing of this impotence, a direct violation of company policy, Vince McMahon fired Hardy, which made the latter a celebrity among pre-pubescents such as Carl V4, who could relate to not having the ability to ejaculate. Thinking quickly, Hardy offered McMahon fellatio, winning himself his job back and thus the opportunity to be jobbed out firstly to Edge and then to everyone else.

Owned Hart

A wrestler who was murdered by his brother Bret when he wouldn’t sign for WCW.

Randy Orton

The future of the WWE in an alternate dimension. Orton may be a shit wrestler, but he has gained notoreity by shitting in handbags, calling women "c***s" and dropping acid and stripteasing for Brother Love. He also has a fourth-dan blackbelt in ninjitsu, as evidenced by his evil sneak attacks and poses that often leave adversaries very irritated indeed. Feasts daily upon a diet of his own shit. Marked for by Raz and other fucktards.

Rey Mysterio

The living embodiment of short guys who are talented, supported, but not big enough to win a world title in the WWE. Until he won a world title, and all his fans turned on him.

Ric Flair

The greatest wrestla evar. Was undoubtedly the most talented member of the Four Horsemen. The son of Buddy Rogers. Attempted to pwn Bret Hart and was discovered to be an Internet n00b, as he was totally unprepared for Bret’s superior website-related flaming skills. Got into a flame war with Mick Foley, trolling him in his autobiography and then attacking him IRL. Was banned and unbanned from Foley’s life. Was pwned by the Inland Revenue Service. Father of Triple H, via an unholy union with Harley Race.

Rob Van Dam

Used to be the greatest wrestla nevar to win a world title. Then he won the WWE Championship last Thursday, and was thus proclaimed to be a shitty worker by the Internets. Reading debates on whether he carried or was carried by Jeff Hardy is often the source of many lulz.

Shawn Michaels

The ultimate IRL troll. According to Bret Hart fans, trolled the WWE until he got his way. Was universally despised on the Internet for years, despite being better than almost every American wrestler ever. Most famous for owning Bret Hart, Canada and every would-be Internet fan by screwing Bret over in Montreal at least 10 years ago, something the Internets have desperately trying and failing to think of a comeback for (the best attempt was made by jagpreet-rai when he spread the news that Shawn Michaels was “ghey”). Had lovely hair.

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin

The last living pirate and The Ultimate Badass. Trolled Vince McMahon for years, generating many lulz. Pwned Bret Hart by calling him “The Shitman,” and making fun of his cute pink tights.

Sunny

Formerly hot babe who caused a rift between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Her and Bret tried to start a relationship, spending all their time in her locker room (Bret tried to cover it up by saying he was too good to share a room with the other workers, but nobody believed him). Unfortunately, and in spite of Sunny's awesome hotness at the time, Bret "the Emo" Hart couldn't ever get it up. Tired of Bret's impotence, Sunny fell for Shawn instead, who flipped her over, spanked her and fucked her brains out repeatedly, each time leaving her gasping for more. After they broke up, Shawn taunted Bret with the phrase "Sunny days are here for Bret". Desperate to compensate for his penis size, Bret attacked Shawn from behind, attempting to pull his hair out. Lulz ensued from Shawn. Afterwards, and despairingly longing for Shawn's love-making, Sunny took drugs to dumb the pain and ate herself stupid.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon

The most successful paedophile wrestling promoter of all time. An incestuous, randy old man who just so happens to draw massive amounts of heat. Hmm.

William Regal

A British wrestler who pwnd Goldberg. Beloved on the Internets for no reason.

X-Division

When a group of malnourished white Ethiopians get together to perform acrobatics for food. This strange practice was discovered by IWC hate figure Jeff Jarrett during a vacation in Tulepo, Mississippi. He took them off the street and promised them free access to TNA’s weekly buffet if they could trick the IWC into believing their acrobatics were real pro wrestling. The gamble paid off and Jarrett’s prank worked, but unfortunately, nobody else gave a shit, and TNA’s TV ratings barely moved.

I lol'd

[DomDom]

Some good stuff there, but it was so up it's own arse it could probably see through it's eyes again.

[Shuggie_Murray7]

Some good stuff there, but it was so up it's own arse it could probably see through it's eyes again.

You should see the rest of it then, those are just a selection of the ones that I deem to be less smarky (so imagine what the rest is like).

I was trawling through a forum I used to be on a couple years ago until it went shite and found it, a good effort nonetheless, but the poster who did it was a c**t.

[Shuggie_Murray7]

It's being said that Triple H is interested in reviving the WWE Tag Team division. Word is that they are really starting to recruit tag teams and see if some names are under contract to other promotions.

There has been talk internally about The Brisco Brothers but they are signed to Ring of Honor. There has also been a lot of talk about TNA's Beer Money and bringing them in once they are able to get away from TNA.

Regarding the Kings of Wrestling - Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli coming, the talk is that they will indeed be brought in together as a tag team and not singles wrestlers.

Please, please. please let this be true.

[#Gary]

Bought The Rock DVD while I was out this morning. That's me sorted for the afternoon at least.

[Shuggie_Murray7]

Ok I'm now looking for my next fix of wrestling reading.I recently finished Jerry Lawler "It's Good To Be The King" and Bret Harts. I'm trying to find a few new reads. I saw Terry Funk "More Than Just Hardcore" and Freddie Blassie's " Listen, You Pencil Neck Geeks" and may purchase them.

Anyone recently found anything worth a read?

Edited August 11, 2011 by Shuggie_Murray7

[RussellV1]

Have you read Jericho's books?