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42 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I hated my previous job, so quit after only 8 months. Started a new job on the Monday and hated that too, so binned it the same day. I've been unemployed since (the last 3 months). I'm a bit worried about the gap in my CV, but if they ask, just tell them you've been travelling. If they ask where, just mention somewhere you've been before. It's pretty much fool proof, unless they demand to see photos of you "travelling" holding up a newspaper to show the day's date. 

I was once asked about CV gaps and came up with the following suggestions.  Not sure if they will be much help.

Suggestions for filling gaps in your CV

Fast asleep

After attending a party where I probably had too many glasses of wine, I fell fast asleep and woke up nine months later.  Although I have no recollection of this, I am now feel wide-awake and fresh as a daisy, ready to do a hard day’s work.

Convicted of a crime I did not commit

As the result of a clerical error in police criminal records, I was imprisoned for murdering a spouse I haven’t got.  After a lengthy appeal I was finally released.  While still somewhat bitter about my incarceration, I am now more than ever aware of the importance of keeping information accurate and up to date and the need to locate that information quickly and easily.

Comatose

After eating a large bowl of goulash, I discovered that I was extremely allergic to paprika by falling into a deep coma.  Although normally detrimental to anyone’s health, the doctors used revolutionary techniques of resuscitation that also activated parts of my brain that are normally dormant in most humans.  While my extra-sensory perception and telekinetic skills are still rudimentary, I still feel I am more capable than most in the more mundane tasks that one encounters in an office environment.

Abducted by aliens

While acknowledging that it is highly unusual for this to happen to a non-American, suggesting poor navigational skills on the part of my abductors, I was taken to a planet orbiting Tau Ceti Three, a small yellow dwarf star approximately fifteen light years from Earth.  There I was enlightened on Life, the Universe and the role of Planet Earth in the grand scheme of things.  Consequently I find mere terrestrial matters such as secretarial and administrative duties to be relatively more straightforward than I had previously believed.  Furthermore, as anyone familiar with Einstein’s theory of relativity will know, my sustained periods of travelling at faster than the speed of light mean than I am actually younger and fresher than my years would suggest.

Temporary insanity

For a brief spell I just lost it totally.  I was taken away, placed in a straightjacket and thrown into a padded cell.  Now that I am over that, I am now very CALM and collected and able to COPE with the modern STRESSES AND STRAINS of a typical office environment.  Furthermore, I feel that my condition, although temporary, means I have will have a greater understanding and sympathy for colleagues with a similar but more enduring condition.

Secret Mission

I was recruited by government agents to deal with a matter of grave nation importance.  That I am not willing to discuss this sensitive issue at all should be proof that I can be trusted with confidential information.

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8 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I hated my previous job, so quit after only 8 months. Started a new job on the Monday and hated that too, so binned it the same day. I've been unemployed since (the last 3 months). I'm a bit worried about the gap in my CV, but if they ask, just tell them you've been travelling. If they ask where, just mention somewhere you've been before. It's pretty much fool proof, unless they demand to see photos of you "travelling" holding up a newspaper to show the day's date. 

That only really works if you'd holiday consists of being caught by terrorists.

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QQ.. I don't know what to call our downstairs "back room". We have a back room upstairs so talk of "back room" leads to confusion. It's not the living room, more of a snug, with a comfy sofa, ps4, some books. Snug is something you get in a beardy pub. Drawing room etc are wanky. Having been pulled up on here for calling our study the study I need help of the collective to decided on a non beastly name for said room. 

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QQ.. I don't know what to call our downstairs "back room". We have a back room upstairs so talk of "back room" leads to confusion. It's not the living room, more of a snug, with a comfy sofa, ps4, some books. Snug is something you get in a beardy pub. Drawing room etc are wanky. Having been pulled up on here for calling our study the study I need help of the collective to decided on a non beastly name for said room. 


Lounge?

Dungeon?
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22 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

QQ.. I don't know what to call our downstairs "back room". We have a back room upstairs so talk of "back room" leads to confusion. It's not the living room, more of a snug, with a comfy sofa, ps4, some books. Snug is something you get in a beardy pub. Drawing room etc are wanky. Having been pulled up on here for calling our study the study I need help of the collective to decided on a non beastly name for said room. 

Call it 'The Fritzl'

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1 minute ago, Shandon Par said:

Lounge gets called living room or lounge though. 

No, living room gets called living room and lounge gets called lounge.

I'd call the room you described a lounge. Sounds like you can lounge on the comfy sofa, read a book or play the PS4.

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39 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

QQ.. I don't know what to call our downstairs "back room". We have a back room upstairs so talk of "back room" leads to confusion. It's not the living room, more of a snug, with a comfy sofa, ps4, some books. Snug is something you get in a beardy pub. Drawing room etc are wanky. Having been pulled up on here for calling our study the study I need help of the collective to decided on a non beastly name for said room. 

Is it beyond you to call them the downstairs back room and upstairs back room?

In any case this is just a boast about how many rooms you've got, you bum!

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Is it beyond you to call them the downstairs back room and upstairs back room?
In any case this is just a boast about how many rooms you've got, you bum!

Burn

I bet it hurts Shandon, he seems the type to take put downs v v seriously, it's a quandary, I'd probably call it lounge mk II. Luckily, I'm not faced with such a problem, as I call that room (in my house) Room 23.
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In all seriousness, and as a sympathiser of any men surrounded by women in the house, I would permit the use of normally cringeworthy "man cave". Get them telt it's your room Shandon and they should stay away.
 
(This stance is also for the best if it does get used as a w**k chamber)


:lol:
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1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

In all seriousness, and as a sympathiser of any men surrounded by women in the house, I would permit the use of normally cringeworthy "man cave". Get them telt it's your room Shandon and they should stay away.

 

(This stance is also for the best if it does get used as a w**k chamber)

I normally get relegated to hanging about in the kitchen with the cat.

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