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I went to "salvage" a giant mirror from the now closed pub round the corner. Carried it haslfway rond the road, realised it was fucking huge and I had nowhere to put it. Really couldn't be fucked explaining it to my girlfriend either, so now it's lying discarded in the street.

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I went to "salvage" a giant mirror from the now closed pub round the corner. Carried it haslfway rond the road, realised it was fucking huge and I had nowhere to put it. Really couldn't be fucked explaining it to my girlfriend either, so now it's lying discarded in the street.

On reflection, was it a good idea? :P

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Just watched some MLS on the telly, when there was a free kick the ref sprayed a spot with a chalk spray then a small line 10 yards away. Ball here, defenders here, no confusion or moaning, what a great idea. Clearly I would only use it around the box and the mark disappeared really quickly.

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There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling and said, "Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me.

She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there, Death will not find me." The merchant lent him his horse and the servant mounted it. He dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace, approached Death and said, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?" "That was not a threatening gesture, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."

Just read this. Sums up the inevitability that is death.

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Staying the night in the rather plush Turnberry hotel, great place but my Ford Focus looks rather out of place in the car park.

You remind me of that Simpsons episode where the butler at a posh house asks Homer if he wants him to park the car, or destroy it.

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