P45 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Or the start of hemorrhoids. OK, but be gentle when you push them back up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 OK, but be gentle when you push them back up. Does Ainslie look like a man who does gentle? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 During lunchtime today I read of Mr Bateman eating handfuls of sand at night, cooking a jellyfish in the microwave then eating it, feeding what he didn’t finish to a dog, drowning said dog, placing a plastic slab over his drugged out bird’s face as she slept just to laugh at it but ultimately feeling sad about it, vomiting in random pots around the holiday home he was staying in just for a laugh, drugging a bird with eccies before enticing her in to a threesome with a prostitute, killing that bird by slashing her neck after chasing her around his apartment, cutting off one of her legs and an arm, tying up the prostitute and killing her by clamping a car battery to her baps, which eventually explode, which he notices in the morning after bits of burned fat from this are sticking to his blinds. Great lunchtime reading. I developed another proud erection reading of the sex scenes, but such is Patrick’s insanity that the flow of the chapters has changed meaning there was no break and the sex scenes turned instantly into frenzied killing. It was quite the mood killer. I had ham and cheese sandwiches with ready salted crisps in them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 During lunchtime today I read of Mr Bateman eating handfuls of sand at night, cooking a jellyfish in the microwave then eating it, feeding what he didn’t finish to a dog, drowning said dog, placing a plastic slab over his drugged out bird’s face as she slept just to laugh at it but ultimately feeling sad about it, vomiting in random pots around the holiday home he was staying in just for a laugh, drugging a bird with eccies before enticing her in to a threesome with a prostitute, killing that bird by slashing her neck after chasing her around his apartment, cutting off one of her legs and an arm, tying up the prostitute and killing her by clamping a car battery to her baps, which eventually explode, which he notices in the morning after bits of burned fat from this are sticking to his blinds. Great lunchtime reading. I developed another proud erection reading of the sex scenes, but such is Patrick’s insanity that the flow of the chapters has changed meaning there was no break and the sex scenes turned instantly into frenzied killing. It was quite the mood killer. I had ham and cheese sandwiches with ready salted crisps in them. The best is yet to come. He makes an appearance in The Rules of Attraction too, IIRC. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Well the next chapter is called 'Killing Child At Zoo' so I can only imagine what delights await me. I might have to read it tonight to avoid another lunchtime erection tomorrow.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 You're fucking sicker than Bateman. A winning combination. You're the sick one if you have a problem with that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 DA Baracus will be all over the papers soon. Developing a strong Paddy Bateman fetish here if seems 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 A winning combination. You're the sick one if you have a problem with that. it sounds dry as f**k. Did the piece at least have mayonnaise or mustard to cut it? Be very specific. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 During lunchtime today I read of Mr Bateman eating handfuls of sand at night, cooking a jellyfish in the microwave then eating it, feeding what he didn’t finish to a dog, drowning said dog, placing a plastic slab over his drugged out bird’s face as she slept just to laugh at it but ultimately feeling sad about it, vomiting in random pots around the holiday home he was staying in just for a laugh, drugging a bird with eccies before enticing her in to a threesome with a prostitute, killing that bird by slashing her neck after chasing her around his apartment, cutting off one of her legs and an arm, tying up the prostitute and killing her by clamping a car battery to her baps, which eventually explode, which he notices in the morning after bits of burned fat from this are sticking to his blinds. Great lunchtime reading. I developed another proud erection reading of the sex scenes, but such is Patrick’s insanity that the flow of the chapters has changed meaning there was no break and the sex scenes turned instantly into frenzied killing. It was quite the mood killer. I had ham and cheese sandwiches with ready salted crisps in them. aye but did he f*** an amputee he'd squashed into a baby's pram? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 it sounds dry as f**k. Did the piece at least have mayonnaise or mustard to cut it? Be very specific. Certainly not. The bread was well buttered. I make them the night before (sans crisps; they are added at the time of eating) and they are in the fridge overnight. They are wrapped in cling film and put in my lunchbox, then the lunchbox is placed in the fridge. Upon arrival at work I put the lunchbox in the fridge, removing it only at lunchtime. This keeps the sandwiches from drying out. aye but did he f*** an amputee he'd squashed into a baby's pram? I don't think so. That would be terrible behaviour. I would hope he would find a pram that was big enough for the amputee to fit in, without having to be squashed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I don't think so. That would be terrible behaviour. I would hope he would find a pram that was big enough for the amputee to fit in, without having to be squashed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I always thought ham and cheese was a fairly standard sandwich filling, either with or without the crisps. I've been living on the edge all this time and I didn't even realise. #edgy #yolo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parsforlife Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I have spent today in front of a computer drinking far too much caffeine, I now have too much and not enough energy at the same time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I had to meet a bunch of potential partners today in work and get asked questions about work etc. As I left the room I farted. It was not quiet. It was smelly. How fucked am I? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 This is special. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Ed Sheeran is a p***k 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Ed Sheeran is a p***k Not at all 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Alexis Sanchez has a naturally sad face 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 The number of posts booitsme has made in the Musical Chinese Whispers thread. Fucking hell. I've not even looked at the ultimate in Threads for the Imbecile (Word Association). I daren't. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 The number of posts booitsme has made in the Musical Chinese Whispers thread. Fucking hell. I've not even looked at the ultimate in Threads for the Imbecile (Word Association). I daren't. Check out the Gifs thread in the naughty section. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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