Unpopular opinions.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Think this subject needs some graphs .

[Shandon Par]

15 minutes ago, throbber said:

I think people are too obsessed with marriage and view it as the ultimate destination for true love and happiness but when the honeymoon period is over and they aren’t feeling warm and fuzzy anymore they blame their other halves, the marriage inevitably comes to an end and there is a great deal of resentment left over. I’d like to see how many of the 42% of the divorces occur within 3 years of marriage and how many of them cite the reason for being divorced as to having rushed the marriage in the first place.

Weddings are not only incredibly expensive, they are also, often a superficial dick waving contest and a chance for the couples families to take passive aggressive swipes at relatives and so called friends  by not inviting them or giving them evening invites whilst they invite their newly found cooler mates along for the entire day. I’ve seen many friendships and families inflicted with deep and hurtful scars based on invites to weddings and hen/stag dos in the past and it’s not pretty.

I’d say most people are as well just not bothering tbh.

 

The whole “big wedding” extravaganza seems a bit vacuous and counterproductive to a happy marriage. Each to their own though. 

 

[Stellaboz]

There are also those people who genuinely just want to have the experience of the day and put on some good food, good drink and give their loved ones a party to celebrate being together, without trying to show off or the likes.

[Shandon Par]

18 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Think this subject needs some graphs .

Or to pay some respect to hardworking single parents, such as Sandra Bullock, and Liz Hurley.

 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

4 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Or to pay some respect to hardworking single parents, such as Sandra Bullock, and Liz Hurley.

 

However, for every Hurley theres a Matthews.

Spoiler

 

[throbber]

3 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

The whole “big wedding” extravaganza seems a bit vacuous and counterproductive to a happy marriage. Each to their own though. 

 

Yeah the bigger weddings are always from people wanting to make a huge statement about their status. I remember a wedding in 2005 when my parents “friends” who were the ultimate keeping up with the Jones types (it was all the mother pulling the strings) were inviting various members of families to the entire day whilst some had evening invites and then certain members of the families not being invited at all. You just knew she took great pleasure picking and choosing who was fortunate enough to be invited and it caused great animosity among the friendship circle. The marriage failed spectacularly as well. 
 

One of my cousins got married on the sly in 2004 without even telling her parents she was doing it, just a registrar and two witnesses and the parents still haven’t forgiven her to this day. Her brother got married in 2010 and his bride never allowed kids at the wedding, so she had to hire a minder for her 1 year old as the wedding was in the middle of nowhere but there were a few babies at the ceremony for her closest friends and family as the bride had allowed it. This has caused a silent burning hatred ever since between them and they had another big argument this year and don’t look like they’ll ever speak to each other again at this rate. 

[ICTChris]

My wife and I got married on holiday with a couple of our friends as witnesses.  We aren't people for big gatherings and being the centre of attention so we were comfortable with doing it like that.  I dont' think anyone resents us for it, we all went out for a meal afterwards.  I enjoy weddings but it just wasn't for us.

[throbber]

5 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

My wife and I got married on holiday with a couple of our friends as witnesses.  We aren't people for big gatherings and being the centre of attention so we were comfortable with doing it like that.  I dont' think anyone resents us for it, we all went out for a meal afterwards.  I enjoy weddings but it just wasn't for us.

Take it you never had a stag?

[Sergeant Wilson]

30 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Or to pay some respect to hardworking single parents, such as Sandra Bullock, and Liz Hurley.

 

Has Sandra Bullock got 3 legs? I never noticed before.

[Dunning1874]

9 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Going back to my original point that perhaps people arent selfless enough to resolve differences or stay together for the future of the kids.
Who will put their hands up and admit they've made bad choices and really really look hard at themselves? Yes poverty and neoliberalism and other factors dont help but people must be making bad choices when it comes to partners and having kids.
Cant keep blaming the state for individual choices then asking the state to sort it.
That's my opinion and I dont care if people agree with it tbh.

Yes, that always works out spectacularly and never fails to create a healthy environment for children.

[throbber]

11 minutes ago, Dunning1874 said:

Yes, that always works out spectacularly and never fails to create a healthy environment for children.

When the parents say they’re staying together for the kids I think their just staying together for themselves so that they don’t end up losing contact with their children or fall out of favour with them then their wife/husband finds a new partner with something more exciting to offer.

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

48 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

There are also those people who genuinely just want to have the experience of the day and put on some good food, good drink and give their loved ones a party to celebrate being together, without trying to show off or the likes.

Aye, I think more and more people are getting married with that in mind.

FWIW I was due to go to three weddings this year. Two for close friends who said to me they were excited and wanted to do it but it was largely for their families and to have everyone together (both will be relatively small dos) and the other a bit more distant but were doing 20 odd folk at the ceremony and meal then hiring out West brewery for all their friends and family etc in the evening, so seems the same vibe.

On the other hand I was at two last year that were both big fancy country house affairs so could be coincidence

[ICTChris]

31 minutes ago, throbber said:

Take it you never had a stag?

No, we had one after I got married.

[throbber]

1 minute ago, ICTChris said:

No, we had one after I got married.

Don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone doing that one.

I can’t be bothered with getting married - we have been together since 2009 and it was never something I aspired towards doing or viewed as some sort of necessary step to take in our relationship. I also had other things I wanted to spend money on. We got engaged 3 years ago but that was largely because she was pregnant and we were in a romantic Italian resort at the time and it felt rude not to propose.

 

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

1 minute ago, MixuFruit said:

Scabs. Remove these people from your life.

The wedding was due to be end of March, just before they told that Wetherspoon boy to f**k off, when they were just about the good guys.

I'll be writing them a strongly worded letter demanding they change their wedding plans, however. Hadn't read the sacking story before now that's shite

[throbber]

1 minute ago, MixuFruit said:

Well if I've learned anything in my studies of life and relationships that's certainly a point of view your girlfriend shares and it won't build resentment as the years go by.

We probably will still get married tbf. Maybe in 2022. Immediate family only, which will be easy for me as everyone thinks I’m a c**t.

[D.A.F.C]

Guaranteed the "research" that goes into this is googling "single parents bad kids" in the same way it's been, for instance "why is BLM bad?" and "structural racism not real?" The credulity and confirmation bias the boy displays is so consistent
 

And where does the research come from with counter arguements? The library?
Years of academic study?
Your levels of inconsistency this boi has is unreal.

[ICTChris]

As I've posted before, when I imagine throbber's domestic life, I picture this video

 

[D.A.F.C]

I used to think DAFC was just a bit of a wet blanket who moaned about his work and broadly sympathised with him but he's showing himself to be actually quite an unpleasant person here. 

Your first post in this conversation was to call me an arsehole then all other posts have been to agree with the pile on and then added whatever you could find in my post history that was hurtful to hit me with yet im the unpleasant one?
Yes you're very sympathetic right enough.
Can i ask, were you raised by a single parent?

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said:

And where does the research come from with counter arguements? The library?
Years of academic study?
Your levels of inconsistency this boi has is unreal.

The point being that you regularly get into a tizzy about things, fire up the iPad and look for justification for your half baked ideas rather than examining an issue objectively, which is why several people have driven a tank through gaping holes in your argument. You were posting videos by someone from the idw the other month to show that structural racism isn't real ffs.