endieinreekie Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I am oiling the machinery of government elsewhere now, alas. I now have jackets on chairs throughout the UK, all suggesting but not quite confirming my presence.I'm meeting challenges head on, by thinking outside the box. I celebrate success by providing development opportunities to colleagues. Delegating and empowering decision makers to ensure stakeholders remain engaged in the key areas.You are an inspiration to us all, I can only try to emulate your fine example. You should run motivational seminars 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 You are an inspiration to us all, I can only try to emulate your fine example. You should run motivational seminars If this involves being in the pub and shouting at someone to buy him a pint you're right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 If this involves being in the pub and shouting at someone to buy him a pint you're right.Unless of course it clashes with tea break time 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinkinFighter Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 An institution that is lucky to have had both our coats sitting on the backs of chairs. I recently put my jacket on the back of a chair at the Scottish Government. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I recently put my jacket on the back of a chair at the Scottish Government.Superb work, I hope you went for a well deserved tea break afterwards 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 If this involves being in the pub and shouting at someone to buy him a pint you're right. I can take feedback like that and turn it in to a positive. You seem to have some development needs to address. We should agree a SMART plan to help you achieve your targets. I can be your mentor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williemillersmoustache Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I learned "freeze frame" actually means it's fucked and so's your bonus last year. It ranks up there with "Head room" (more) and "way-finding" (not having a scooby doo). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I can take feedback like that and turn it in to a positive. You seem to have some development needs to address. We should agree a SMART plan to help you achieve your targets. I can be your mentor. I would find this approach too stressful, pub? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I would find this approach too stressful, pub? We could do a stress assessment to establish the triggers. Then if you're on board we could make some adjustments to your role. This would allow me to support you to meet your job specific objectives and surpass your personal targets. We have zero tolerance of alcohol, you may remember that from your induction. Have a read at the conduct policy and I'll diarise another catch up within 10 working days. Just to see how you are. You might want to bring your TU rep. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 We could do a stress assessment to establish the triggers. Then if you're on board we could make some adjustments to your role. This would allow me to support you to meet your job specific objectives and surpass your personal targets. We have zero tolerance of alcohol, you may remember that from your induction. Have a read at the conduct policy and I'll diarise another catch up within 10 working days. Just to see how you are. You might want to bring your TU rep. On third pint, didn't read. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Don't forget you need to use FORM to integrate fully on first contact 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Hmmm. Not sure how or when it started, but instead of telling colleagues that I need to talk to them or get something off them, I tell them I'm going to "chib them", e.g. "I need that file for a customer so I'll chib you for it tomorrow". Is this just another example of corporate nonsense, or have I invented a new category of business language? (if it's the latter, I'm christening it gnarly parley). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Jacket on chair...me on train. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Jacket on chair...me on train. I thought you worked in a bank? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Got sent 2 "inspirational quotes" by my stand in manager today. 1 was a Winston Churchill quote along the lines of attitude being greatest asset. The other was Gordon Ramsay proclaiming all disobedient staff are ex-employees. Needless to say my team slaughtered her and started sending Simpson quotes to her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 We should be tuned in to WIIFM 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 (edited) Slightly off topic......but a friend of mine told me about this guy she knows that went for an interview. He was asked to "sell me this jug of water".........so he set fire to the bin in the corner! He was escorted from the building by the Police! Edited May 2, 2014 by sjc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Slightly off topic......but a friend of mine told me about this guy she knows that went for an interview. He was asked to "sell me this jug of water".........so he set fire to the bin in the corner! He was escorted from the building by the Police! I would've hired him on the spot with a massive bonus for having the balls to attempt that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I would've hired him on the spot with a massive bonus for having the balls to attempt that. I totally agree.....genius I thought. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Slightly off topic......but a friend of mine told me about this guy she knows that went for an interview. He was asked to "sell me this jug of water".........so he set fire to the bin in the corner! He was escorted from the building by the Police! that definitely happened. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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