Jump to content

Business / corporate speak nonsense


Recommended Posts

Whit?

It's a different way of saying that we're making agonisingly slow progress. If I tell you that it was used with ... "but we'll need to slam dunk it by the end of July" you will have a sense of the level of my blood pressure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a different way of saying that we're making agonisingly slow progress. If I tell you that it was used with ... "but we'll need to slam dunk it by the end of July" you will have a sense of the level of my blood pressure.

What the...

I%27m_outta_here!.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the Indian guys. One of them sent me an email once that said "Thank you for your wonderful help Christ". Overselling me slightly.

My current bugbear is people who say "blah blah blah". When explaining something they don't want to go into detail so they say "So we are looking to kick that batch job off and then we'll need to speak to the project who'll need to their guys and blah blah blah they'll do what they need to". Just say what they need to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sat in my office now nursing a bit of a hangover.........told the guys "you know what needs doing just get it fcuking done"...........that's my kind of business/corporate speak!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SLA - as before

BAU - Business as usual

PCA - percentage calls answered

AWT - average wait time

And my favourite isn;t an official one, but exists in fault resolution - PEBCAK. Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.

ah the ole 'eye dee ten tea' error

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Has anyone witnessed anything like the vid below in reality?

On the "I don't answer to you" part rather than the "oggy!!!" one, I've seen that before.

Software 'Product A' support person telling leader of Software 'Product B' that they're not in control of them... when in actual fact he was due to recent restructuring. He soon got pulled into the head managers office to 'set the record straight' and came looking like he'd burst out crying... which was most pleasing to everyone else seeing as he was an utter narcissistic tool.

Eta: Pretty sure he played the "I've not been crying, I've just got bad hayfever today and I rubbed my eye" card that day too. :lol:

Edited by Hedgecutter
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...