Jambomo Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Obviously. That blue line is all over the place and it's clearly intended to take twice as long as the red line (to increase what they can charge) and all that sprinting basically means a rush job. Essentially they are a bunch of Cowboys. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Worked about a zillion years ago with this guy who was the sharpest dresser you could imagine and he had my admiration for that, but he would come out with shite like, "let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes." That company did not last. That quote comes from the wonderful film "12 Angry Men" starring Henry Fonda. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I no longer tell folk stuff - I socialise it. Also, whilst I've long since become used to c***s starting responses to questions that they don't know the answer to with the word "so" because it gives them thinking time, Friday was the first time I'd sent an email asking a question where the reply came back with "So, ...". Unsurprisingly it contained much bollocks. I can't imagine dealing with these conversations in certain parts of Scotland where there is an insatiable urge to finish every sentence with "eh?" (I'm looking at you Leith). Me: "how was lunch" Random: "So it was braw eh?" Me: "Wtf are you asking me for - I wasn't there!" It's the end of times. It seems to be becoming a lot more common recently, normally in a "here comes the explanation, so shut the f**k up and listen to me" context. I've even caught myself doing it once or twice and died a wee bit inside on each occasion. I console myself by thinking it's not unlike the Anglo-Saxons starting all their poems with "hwaet!" to get the crowd to quieten down. It's a lot wankier than that though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Delta... Can't we just receive a delta file? Translation - just tell us what records have changed since yesterday. Yeah I hear that a lot. Difference just use the word difference! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScotSquid Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 That blue line is all over the place and it's clearly intended to take twice as long as the red line (to increase what they can charge) and all that sprinting basically means a rush job. Essentially they are a bunch of Cowboys. It appears all traditional developments result in an unhappy client experience. Hmmm. What a truly shit diagram. The Billy Dodds of development methodologies 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Clients are never happy imho. Mainly because they have no actual idea what they want. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 It appears all traditional developments result in an unhappy client experience. Hmmm. What a truly shit diagram. The Billy Dodds of development methodologies But it's a diagram so it must be accurate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 A new one on me I just heard today is "factoring in known unknowns" with regard to risk management. I sometimes think there's a wee office somewhere employed to think up this pish and knot themselves laughing when people pick up on it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speckled tangerine Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 A new one on me I just heard today is "factoring in known unknowns" with regard to risk management. I sometimes think there's a wee office somewhere employed to think up this pish and knot themselves laughing when people pick up on it. "Known unknowns"? An oxymoron for morons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "Known unknowns"? An oxymoron for morons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "Known unknowns"? An oxymoron for morons. That must be the Foxtel IQ3 software development team. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Known unknowns or known knowns only Martin Keown really knows, you know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 A new one on me I just heard today is "factoring in known unknowns" with regard to risk management. I sometimes think there's a wee office somewhere employed to think up this pish and knot themselves laughing when people pick up on it. Do you work with Donald Rumsfeld? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 It's astonishing, isn't it? There was a whole room of people with a collective "eh?" expression on their faces. The sad thing about it is knowing the people involved, at least half of them will be looking for an excuse to shoehorn the phrase in anywhere possible soon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 It's astonishing, isn't it? There was a whole room of people with a collective "eh?" expression on their faces. The sad thing about it is knowing the people involved, at least half of them will be looking for an excuse to shoehorn the phrase in anywhere possible soon. Everytime I see more and more stuff on here I'm glad my working environment is one where the language is more in the "industrial" category rather than all this made up shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 My company are apparently leaving 'showstoppers' behind (at last), but were are now focussing on 'pain points'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 My company are apparently leaving 'showstoppers' behind (at last), but were are now focussing on 'pain points'. A perfect moment to photocopy your arse 50 times with the added tagline 'Where You Giving Me a Pain', and distribute throughout the office. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 "Let me just throw another idea at the wall". No - just f**k off!! "So (!) We've found that Hive is just unworkable - it's too slow. Impala is ok but not any better than we have at the moment" Who fuckin thinks this pish up?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Just reading some council strategy that has a "KPI to deliver a range of shovel ready projects". That's no way to talk about senior citizens. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Clients are never happy imho. Mainly because they have no actual idea what they want. Until they see it - but the colour is wrong. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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