Top 5 Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics

[Cardinal Richelieu]

Soooo many to choose from.

Oh you can't put your foot up in Europe. You can't show your studs on the 'nent. They take a dim view of a slightly raised shoe, so think on if you're up against Ghent. (I went to a Wedding)

She's the main man in the office in the city, I remember though when she was reading Jackie, but I could put a tennis racquet up against my face, and pretend that I was Kendo Nagasaki (Everything's AOR)

Car crimes low, the gun crime's lower. The town hall band CD it's a grower. You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce. Although there was a drive-by shouting once. (For What is Chatteris?)

I've been goading, D-list Paul Ross for a laugh. By unloading, outside what he'd call his gaffe. Old fridge freezers, doors

removed like we're told. His face at the window, a sight to behold. (Tyrolean Knockabout)

Pulling the ice axe from my eye, I staggered on, spindrift stinging my remaining eye / There's a man going mad with a mallet in Millets. (National Shite Day)

[YassinMoutaouakil]

I like the one about Brad Friedel.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

I don't think Brad Friedel was so impressed...

[Peedzy]

There is nothing better in life than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro

Gauranga gauranga, yes I'll be happy - when you've been arrested for defacing the bridge

Factory prankster of the year, once upon a time and a half, turned up, clocked on, laid off.

Tedious people, tiresome town...there's an outbreak of Vitus Geralitis going round.

And if I'd known you were coming, I'd have slashed me wrists.

[Lordofthewing]

"The X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by a swarthy Portuguese centre-half whom I've just dismissed." (The Referee's Alphabet)

[Cardinal Richelieu]

Heh. Good point Mozza.

There's a man with a mullet good mad with a mallet in Millets.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

I'll let you off seeing are you are P&B's resident Half Man Half Biscuit aficionado.

Christ. I still got it wrong at the second attempt. I might have to give up my title of P&B's resident Half Man Half Biscuit aficionado.

In other news, they have a new song called You're So Beige. That i can't find anywhere on the Internet.

[Fuctifano]

new album out October 20th (that isn't a lyric). Can't wait (neither's that)

"Did you play in the garden of Eden / were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed/ for it seems to me you're the reason / you're the reason why paradise lost"

"I could have been like Lou Barlow, but I'm more like Ken Barlow"

"and they reckon the last thing she saw in her life was Sting, singing on the roof of the Barbican"

"You say plenty more fish, I say Amoco Cadiz"

and probably my current signature.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

new album out October 20th (that isn't a lyric). Can't wait (neither's that)

"Did you play in the garden of Eden / were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed/ for it seems to me you're the reason / you're the reason why paradise lost"

"I could have been like Lou Barlow, but I'm more like Ken Barlow"

"and they reckon the last thing she saw in her life was Sting, singing on the roof of the Barbican"

"You say plenty more fish, I say Amoco Cadiz"

and probably my current signature.

Aye. Fair ganting on the new album. The only new song I've heard of theirs (but isn't on the tracklist) is "You're so beige", which was hilarious but I can't remember much about it, except that Nigel was talking about getting a new job at DFS but he doesn't get paid for another five years.

[muttonhumper]

Well I heard a lovely tumour, that Bette Midler had a tumour, so gleefully I went to tell my friends.

1 of 5.

4 to follow. In pub.

[AsimButtHitsASix]

"...Junior Kickstart" (Footsteps - This Leaden Pall)

"There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets" (National Shite Day - CSI Ambleside)

"Are you knackered man? No. I'm Jan Ackerman." (Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves - Some Call It Godcore)

"If I were a linesman. I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides." (The Referee's Alphabet - Cammel Laird Social Club)

"A woman who described herself as “A little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally, a little bit Sex And The City” and chose to call her baby boy Fred as a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert. Bit of advice: call him Rupert, it fits, and besides it’s a good name. Don’t be calling him Fred or Archie, with all its cheeky but lovable working class scamp connotations, unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life in William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot." (Breaking News - Cammel Laird Social Club)

[BallochSonsFan]

Not in order:

1. Theres a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets.

2. I shout all my obscenities from steeples
But please don’t label me a madman
I’m off to see the Bootleg Beatles
As the bootleg Mark Chapman

3. She stayed with me until she moved to Notting Hill
She said it was the place she needs to be
Where the cocaine is fair trade, and frequently displayed
Is the Buena Vista Social Club CD

4. Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

5. We’ve got lo-fi, we’ve got tie-dye
We’ve got grey and brown and black
We’ve got stickers on guitars
We’ve got a tape for Steve Lamacq
We’ve got celibate lead singers
We’ve got Sebadoh’s and Docs
But what ain’t we got?
We ain’t got mates