topcat(The most tip top) Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 If too early you ejaculateThere is a solution that’s greatPicture in your mindChick Young and you’ll find That you won’t come before your mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 I'm a celebrity really is shite Declan Donnelly is challenged by height His best mate looks knackered Think I'll go squeeze a blackhead Saturday nights used to be alright! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 There was a poster called Bennett Deemed Worst Poster by the P&B senate He mocks child abuse And lives in someone elses hoose Misses Tedi more than you would ken it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 20 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: There was a poster called Bennett Deemed Worst Poster by the P&B senate He mocks child abuse And lives in someone elses hoose Misses Tedi more than you would ken it Rhyme is something most posters can manage, Even Bobby inflicts little damage. But meter he can't do For he hasn't a clue. The results of his efforts are carnage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 9 minutes ago, Monkey Tennis said: Rhyme is something most posters can manage, Even Bobby inflicts little damage. But meter he can't do For he hasn't a clue. The results of his efforts are carnage. There was a white knight called MT Whose efforts fell pitifully Boring posts are the norm Falling asleep is the form To not read another post would be glee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 1 minute ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: There was a white knight called MT Whose efforts fell pitifully Boring posts are the norm Falling asleep is the form To not read another post would be glee First two lines are much better. However, it falls apart a bit thereafter. Keep at it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Just now, Monkey Tennis said: First two lines are much better. However, it falls apart a bit thereafter. Keep at it though. I’m an amateur, you demand perfection too quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 7 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: I’m an amateur, you demand perfection too quickly. When contriving to write a Lim'rick, There are guidelines to which you must stick. Do a syllable count That allows you to mount An attempt that won't make you look thick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 3 minutes ago, Monkey Tennis said: When contriving to write a Lim'rick, There are guidelines to which you must stick. Do a syllable count That allows you to mount An attempt that won't make you look thick. Be wary that this thread is fun Youre enticing other posters to run You’re an entertainment vacuum This thread is headed for doom we all know that you’re a closet *** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 9 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Be wary that this thread is fun Youre enticing other posters to run You’re an entertainment vacuum This thread is headed for doom we all know that you’re a closet *** No, no no. Meter for Christ's sake. It's as if you're not listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 MT is an unhappy manWhen reading a verse that won't scanHe then takes the pissBut hopefully thisWill meet his exacting standards of metre, scansion and rhythm so he won't complain about oh bollocks on I've put too many syllables into this line so it's overran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Another royal wedding so what A ginge and a yank tie the knot Its boring as f**k As the press spout their muck While the most of us don’t give a jot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 A buxom Young strumpet named Claire Complained that the game wasn’t fair While playing strip poker She was dealt a joker And ended up holding a pair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 On 14/11/2017 at 17:11, Finch road said: Shandon Par he dons a cape his taste in clothes delightful Although he is Dunfy fan his choice in pies insightful He sparred against a younger chap his nose was smashed to pieces Despite his loafers could be worse hes never thrown faeces Dear old Finch Road: he huffed and he puffed For he out of the contest, got turfed He'd been told countless times That a poem with four lines Is like ent'ring an orange at Crufts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finch road Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 6 minutes ago, Monkey Tennis said: Dear old Finch Road: he huffed and he puffed For he out of the contest, got turfed He'd been told countless times That a poem with four lines Is like ent'ring an orange at Crufts. Awful rhyming in lines 1,2 and 5. Genuine 0/10 Monkey Tennis is such a bore The definition of an attention whore From the south he does hail His patter should land him in jail He was lucky in the worst posters score Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 The haiku, the sonnet, the ode Each one of them baffles Finch Road. His attempts are so lame That it's rather a shame. A debt to his schooling's not owed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finch road Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 The haiku, the sonnet, the ode Each of them baffles Finch Road. His attempts are so lame That it's rather a shame. A debt to his schooling's not owed. A somewhat witty reply But as with time I must flyI'm falling asleepReplies make my phone beepAnd i might have to kick your japs eye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 12 minutes ago, Finch road said: A somewhat witty reply But as with time I must fly I'm falling asleep Replies make my phone beep And i might have to kick your japs eye Your final line causes offence No shocker, from one quite so dense But the racist remark Gets hit right out the park: APOSTROPHE! There's no defence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 There was poster named Miguel On his all-time worst list he did dwell He flogged it to death, ‘til it started to smell And for Bennet it didn’t end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 On 16/11/2017 at 17:58, welshbairn said: Shite haiku. Have you posted a limerick yet? Welshbairn tries much too hard as a rule To convey himself somehow as cool If he finds that he's flaggin' He just boards a bandwagon But he winds up appearing a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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