Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[SaintSam]

More...

I was once in the lab dealing with some chemical problems/paper jams and the phone rang. I was on my own so I answered, gave it "the patter" and this woman on the end of the line informed me that she'd been put through to the wrong department by the automated service (this is impossible, as you prompt on what department you wish to speak to).

She wanted to speak to someone about white goods. I told her to redial the number she initially dialled and select option 4 for electrical service desk (as opposed to option 2 for photo processing department). She replied "Well, I didn't think the electrical desk dealt with white goods". I thought to myself "but the photo lab does?"

Ding, ding, ding!

[Half A Person]

We only do takeaways, not deliveries.

It is amazing the amount (probably 2 or 3 a week) of people who phone back up saying, ' Ah've been waiting for 45 minutes and ma pizzas no' came yit.'

Err... did you not think we might have taken your address if we delivered? And your pizza is ready...it's been sitting here for the last half hour.

Fannies.

[Baz Mac]

Awesome, didnt know you were manager there.

If I come in can we discuss football, beef and the bear, the smiths and indeed pinups?

Edited May 29, 2007 by Baz Mac

[Swampy]

There was a lesbian in that gang, I'm positive. They used to print them on the paper lining for the trays.

"Snaps" was probably an avid fan of vagina.

I found a website a few weeks ago with a lot of the old McDonalds tray liners (or "placemats" as they so unneccesarily called them), the BK ones being eminently forgettable. The Chicken Awesomes (or whatever the McNugget variant was called), however, did come in a memorable box, which is sadly lost to the ages.

Edit: Incidentally, halfaperson, I guarantee you that the people who asked for half cheese and tomato and half margherita were fucking with your staff. I know this because I've done similar things. Yes, we realise it's not clever. No, that doesn't mean it isn't funny.

Edited May 29, 2007 by Swampy

[Guest bairnbabe]

I've got a banging headache and had it for a week now.

Can't seem to shift it

[SimonLichtie]

I only just realised what Dubya's sig says!

On that note though, I was out at the weekend and heard a group of burds singing the song that the Colin Cramb song (the other one ) is sung to, and felt I had to start singing along in the middle of them with Cramb's song interupting them.

[North Stand Bairn]

I've got a banging headache and had it for a week now.

Can't seem to shift it

You can't leave it at that. Tell the masses what you done to get the headache ya fanny

[Gaz]

Edit: Incidentally, halfaperson, I guarantee you that the people who asked for half cheese and tomato and half margherita were fucking with your staff. I know this because I've done similar things. Yes, we realise it's not clever. No, that doesn't mean it isn't funny.

Hmm, I dunno about this one sunshine. There's a local takeaway to me that actually gives you different pizzas if you ask for a cheese and tomato or a margharita - I think it's a cheese and tomato gives just tomato puree and cheese, but a margharita gives tomato slices as well as the puree (and cheese, obviously).

It's hella confusing. And gay.

[Buzz Killington]

My mother used to say to me: "The older you get, the more intelligent you'll realise you are."

When I was young I thought she was wrong, but it's true.

I could not work with the general public - there's no way I could keep a straight face if an adult human asked me how long an hour was. No way.

Thats true, I never realised just how stupid some people really are and how many of them there are untill I started working in Tesco when I was 16. Ah the joys of an office job.

[Swampy]

Hmm, I dunno about this one sunshine. There's a local takeaway to me that actually gives you different pizzas if you ask for a cheese and tomato or a margharita - I think it's a cheese and tomato gives just tomato puree and cheese, but a margharita gives tomato slices as well as the puree (and cheese, obviously).

It's hella confusing. And gay.

See, I did entertain that scenario, but the way they set it up seems to me that they were just fucking with him/her.

[footiechick]

More...

I was once in the lab dealing with some chemical problems/paper jams and the phone rang. I was on my own so I answered, gave it "the patter" and this woman on the end of the line informed me that she'd been put through to the wrong department by the automated service (this is impossible, as you prompt on what department you wish to speak to).

She wanted to speak to someone about white goods. I told her to redial the number she initially dialled and select option 4 for electrical service desk (as opposed to option 2 for photo processing department). She replied "Well, I didn't think the electrical desk dealt with white goods". I thought to myself "but the photo lab does?"

Ding, ding, ding!

Why couldn't you just transfer her??

[Guest The Phoenix]

Why couldn't you just transfer her??

Don't be ridiculous!

Sam works in the photo processing department not on the switchboard.

[Monster]

Since we're all being gay and talking about work...

Do you know what annoys me? Morons who ask for the one hour service on their prints, then don't come back for it until the next day. Or customers who ask for the 24 hour service on their prints, and then come back for them the same day.

But what really, really takes the biscuit. Customers who ask me "What does one hour mean? 20 minutes, half an hour?". No, it means one hour.

No, no.

I once had a guy come in (to Pizza Hut, obviously, and he wasn't taking the piss, and ask for a burger.

I stifled the guffaws and managed to utter, ' Naw mate , we don't do burgers- this is PIZZA HUT.'

'err, Gimme a cheeseburger then.'

or when i was a waiter, i served two girls who were having trouble deciding:

'would you like to order?'

'...'

' If you like you can get one medium sized pizza and do half one topping, half the other'

'...'

'I mean, you can get one half of the pizza with what you like and you can get the other half with your choice.'

' Errrrrrr awright.' * girls close the menus*

' 'well, what do you want on either side?'

Girl 1: ' I'll huv a cheese and tomato'

Girl 2: ' I'll huv a margarita'

Morons.

More...

I was once in the lab dealing with some chemical problems/paper jams and the phone rang. I was on my own so I answered, gave it "the patter" and this woman on the end of the line informed me that she'd been put through to the wrong department by the automated service (this is impossible, as you prompt on what department you wish to speak to).

She wanted to speak to someone about white goods. I told her to redial the number she initially dialled and select option 4 for electrical service desk (as opposed to option 2 for photo processing department). She replied "Well, I didn't think the electrical desk dealt with white goods". I thought to myself "but the photo lab does?"

Ding, ding, ding!

We only do takeaways, not deliveries.

It is amazing the amount (probably 2 or 3 a week) of people who phone back up saying, ' Ah've been waiting for 45 minutes and ma pizzas no' came yit.'

Err... did you not think we might have taken your address if we delivered? And your pizza is ready...it's been sitting here for the last half hour.

Fannies.

These have made my day. Is it possible for adult humans to be that stupid? It seems so.....

Here are some of mine(all on the phone):

Customer:"I'm waiting for a load of bricks. When will my bricks arrive?"

Me:"When did you order them?"

Customer:"I haven't yet."

Customer:"It says here your bricks are 'Commons'"

Me:"Yes, that's industry name for a brick that can be used for domestic or general building"

Customer:"Am I allowed to build a wall with it?"

Customer: "How big are your bricks?"

Me: "65mm or 73mm"

Customer: "But what if I wanted to build higher than that?"

[Gaz]

Why couldn't you just transfer her??

No, no and thrice no!

At my work, we constantly get folk phoning my department about other types of policy, stuff we don't deal with etc., this despite them usually having a letter showing the CORRECT number they dial. If you transfer them, they'll never learn to take an extra five seconds to look for the correct number, as all they'll do is keep phoning the wrong one looking to be transferred!

[flogelsleftpeg]

We only do takeaways, not deliveries.

It is amazing the amount (probably 2 or 3 a week) of people who phone back up saying, ' Ah've been waiting for 45 minutes and ma pizzas no' came yit.'

Err... did you not think we might have taken your address if we delivered? And your pizza is ready...it's been sitting here for the last half hour.

Fannies.

Is it the pizza hut next to the cinema you must see some of the stupidest people in the world in there. Falkirk is rife with idiots.

[Whistle Blower]

Mrs WB's work has been taken over.

Mrs WB's Work

***prays for redundancy***

[Ritchie Sacramento]

The cover of this weeks NME

[Lisa Cuddy]

Fraserburgh. Sorry to anyone that lives there, but I hate you all. If you want to blame someone, you can blame the snotty bint I just spoke to. If that's not a good enough reason, the fact that I've been there should suffice.

[flogelsleftpeg]

Mrs WB's work has been taken over.

Mrs WB's Work

***prays for redundancy***

Capita are a fucking joke of a company, they are terrible.

[Gaz]

Capita are a fucking joke of a company, they are terrible.

I'm pretty sure it was them who took over Prudential's office in Belfast.