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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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If I am correct I dread the phonecall I'll have to make.

Try to break the monotomy and add a little humour to it. Try something like:

"Yar, I be having scabies, Yar. Yee better get yourself below decks to get yourself checked out swabbie. Yar."

That might help.

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Sounds horrible, but it does have a certain ring to it. It sounds like a proper manly disease, the type with a scary name that is suffered out at sea on the spanish main by people with wooden legs who say "yar" a lot.

That's because it's so close to the word rabies! It brings to mind lots of horrible consequences.

I pray it isn't, but I have a sneaking suspicion I will be proved right. :(

If I am correct I dread the phonecall I'll have to make.

:huh:

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Try to break the monotomy and add a little humour to it. Try something like:

"Yar, I be having scabies, Yar. Yee better get yourself below decks to get yourself checked out swabbie. Yar."

That might help.

:lol::lol::lol:

No one could be annoyed at me after that.

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Guest The Phoenix

Try to break the monotomy and add a little humour to it. Try something like:

"Yar, I be having scabies, Yar. Yee better get yourself below decks to get yourself checked out swabbie. Yar."

That might help.

I suspect after the 100th Phone Call the edge might come off the humour.

Probably better to put an ad in the Falkirk Herald - a bit like one of those Product Recall alerts.

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Yarr. :(

I always imagined scurvy to be some sort of disease you caught from being in close proximity to a parrot for too long, and the treatment was either the removal of an eye, or a leg, which would then be inadequately replaced.

Turns out, it's from not eating oranges. And the treatment is to eat an orange.

Then again, I once misheard a TV programme, and for years I thought Liberace had died from "eggs". I'm not a medical expert.

Edited by Dunc
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I suspect after the 100th Phone Call the edge might come off the humour.

Probably better to put an ad in the Falkirk Herald - a bit like one of those Product Recall alerts.

It's not necessarily anything to do with sex :rolleyes:

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I always imagined scurvy to be some sort of disease you caught from being in close proximity to a parrot for too long, and the treatment was either the removal of an eye, or a leg, which would then be inadequately replaced.

Turns out, it's from not eating oranges. And the treatment is to eat an orange.

Then again, for years I misheard a TV programme, and thought Liberace had died from "eggs". I'm not a medical expert.

The Gray Ghost thinks that the old names are the best...Rabies, Scabies, Scurvy, Leprosy, bubonic plague. All names that strike fear into the timorous heart of mortals. Then you have the new age diseases. Ecoli, German Measles, Aids (both good and bad), Bird Flu....just not quite as scary sounding!

The Gray Ghost used to eat a lot of fruit because one day when The Gray Ghost was very young, The Gray Ghosts father told him that if The Gray Ghost didnt eat enough fruit, The Gray Ghost would get scurvy, all The Gray Ghosts teeth would fall out, and The Gray Ghost would throw up all the time.

The Gray Ghost was never more than 6 feet away from an apple for the next 15 years. :(

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Guest The Phoenix
Then again, for years I misheard a TV programme, and thought Liberace had died from "eggs". I'm not a medical expert.

That should be in the Sick Yolks thread.

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:lol::lol::lol:

No one could be annoyed at me after that.

Let us know when you've tried it. :lol:

I suspect after the 100th Phone Call the edge might come off the humour.

Probably better to put an ad in the Falkirk Herald - a bit like one of those Product Recall alerts.

:o Ooft! :lol:

I always imagined scurvy to be some sort of disease you caught from being in close proximity to a parrot for too long, and the treatment was either the removal of an eye, or a leg, which would then be inadequately replaced.

Turns out, it's from not eating oranges. And the treatment is to eat an orange.

Then again, for years I misheard a TV programme, and thought Liberace had died from "eggs". I'm not a medical expert.

:lol:

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Oh now that!!!!! :angry: That has the capacity to make me explode :guns. Do taxi drivers' legs cease to function as soon as they set off for work, preventing their arse from leaving the driver's seat in order to walk a short distance and knock on a door to collect their customer? Really! I mean, it's just plain rude to sit outside and beep the horn expecting someone to jump to. :angry::angry::angry:

:angry: Miser, my arse! It's rude and it's inconsiderate to other people nearby. There have been times where I've just got a cantankerous baby to sleep after hours of them fighting it, screaming (from the baby) and me pacing round the house, trying desperately to get them to sleep only for them to be woken as I carefully put them on the bed by a taxi driver impatiently beeping their horn outside my house for one of my neighbours. Had I not then been busy dealing with the screaming baby yet again (taxi driver having woken them) I'd have been out of that front door and off up the street for a word or two!!! :angry: Come to that, I should've taken said screaming baby out at that point and insisted the offending party drive us round until the baby finally fell back to sleep in the car seat :lol:.

Was the green man lit? If so then they had right of way don't you know! :rolleyes:

Ach, who let you out?

Taxi drivers are bad for doing that. I understand if the person waiting for the taxi lives in a block of flats and they live on the top floor,but where we live there is no such thing as a high-rise block of flats.

Screaming babies...I remember that(Just :lol: ) Projectile vomiting and not getting much sleep as the baby couldn't keep her feed down,I don't know if it had anything to do with the formula milk or not,but she was much better when breast fed. B)

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...taxi drivers that sit in their cars and do the same. :angry:

I have to clarify, as I know a few taxi driver's, that under Health & Safety legislation they can't leave their cars to come to people's doors, just in case they've been lured there for someone to nick their car or punch they're coupon.

A lot of companies now ask you for your phone number so when the cab arrives there's a couple of rings on your phone and you know your cab's there - so less horn tooting! It's the way to go! ;)

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Oh Fudge, you and your diseases :lol:

My nag, I've had a whole week off work now and all I have done is went walking one day with Fudge and argued lots. What a waste of a week :(

At least I booked Monday off so I only need to work four days next week.

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A worse crime is parking in a disabled parking space. Especially on a Sunday morning when you have your golf clubs in the back seat. Tends to give you away. <_<

if anyone asks u just reply

"i have fucking tourettes you twat!" :lol:

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After confessing my sins, it turns out I only have a bad fungal infection 'down there'. I was sent on my way with a tube of Canesten and a leaflet on sexual health.

Lovely stuff.

:o Canestan - I thought was just for vaginal thrush?!?! :huh:

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:o Canestan - I thought was just for vaginal thrush?!?! :huh:

I don't have a vagina, so I'm guessing it is given for other fungal infections as well.

John Coughlin left you because your club was terribly run, and you pay peanuts for wages meaning it was virtually impossible to keep you up. Thankfully he now has a great board and a decent wage budget at Stenhousemuir :D

Enjoy John Dillon :lol:

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