Swarley

Fog lights. It's been raining here and I've lost count of the number of cars I've seen with their feckin rear fog lights on. Why? In the rain it's almost impossible to see the brake lights. I'd like to see a device installed into cars that controls the fog light. If it's severe fog then the lights are turned on, any other time they are off and the driver can't control them.

Why do auld folk keep cushions on their car parcel shelf?

Maybe it's the driver's wife? Possibly gonna drop her off at Tescos?

Hiya

Dreams interpretation website

Lungs

Web

Aye because that's a police matter!

Neebs?

Smurf on smurf action? Possibly 8-10 of them in a lattice pattern and drenched in maple syrup?

I doubt anyone who keeps their eggs in the fridge (henceforth known as "normos") keeps them there after the expiry date. If so then they are madder than those who don't keep the eggs in the fridge (henceforth known as "wackos"). Out of interest, how quickly do the wackos eat these unrefrigerated eggs? Within a couple of days of buying them or do you leave them for a few weeks?

Did your wife vote BNP at the last election?

Eggs are meant to be kept in the fridge those people who say otherwise are mentalists.

Why does it take so long for a Google search of "Megan Fox, naked"?

You Sir (and footiechick) are mad.

Motor bikes, why is it legal for them to ride about with their full beam on? And if you drive right up my arse, with your full beam on, when I'm already doing the speed limit, I'm not going to go any faster. In fact I may just ease of the accelerator to piss you off further.

Hartlepool

First 50 rows will get wet? Was sorry for the National anthem choir who must have got absolutely soaked, not like the divas who had someone holding an umbrella for them. And what was going on with the wee truck that they couldn't get off the pitch at the start of the game? That stadium will be fantastic for the Melbourne Victory games, the atmosphere should be tremendous. It does seem strange to have league games on immediately after the Test/NSW country v city matches. Can you imagine the outcry from the football prima donas if they were forced to play a league game the day after an international?

Aaargh I hate that film with a passion. The first time I watched it was on a trans-atlantic flight. I watched it for as long as I could then was so bored I turned it off. A couple of months later it was on the tv and I thought I'll give it another try just to see how it ends. Turns out that I only missed about the last minute!

Looked good tonight as the Kangaroos tanned the World Champions

Dry

Try Google my friend

Mineral

Indeed, he looked like an alien was about to burst out from his chest cavity.

Taken from an Aussie Cancer Council fact sheet It's the UVA radiation you have to watch for though. I don't think you'll have too much bother in Scotland!