An Sionnach
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Posts posted by An Sionnach
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One of my colleagues has been boiling fish for their lunch!
Our Mess Room now smells like North Shields Fish Quay on a hot summers afternoon!* 
*I could have made a worse comparison, for those who know the lyrics to Jimi Hendrix's version of Gloria!
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Frantic Fridays!!
That is all!
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Walking into the office and getting 8 people all wanting something done right away, 26 emails waiting to be answered and another four phone calls before I'd got my coat off!
Anyone know the number of the Roslyn Institute so I can see about cloning myself?!
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Also people going all the way round large roundabouts and turning off without ever attempting to use the indicator.
That pisses off pedestrian's as well.
Trying to cross Alderman Road going to/from work and you think the last car is coming so you carry on waiting, then it speeds off round the roundabout away from you so you could have crossed earlier all the time. I'm supposed to risk my life guessing which way you're going to go then?! Knob-ends! 0 -
Road works in Renfrew and the subsequent detours/lack of buses/travel delays!
The place is a traffic nightmare at the moment so avoid it at all costs.
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Freaky Fridays Kilt - they're a nightmare....
I suppose being Friday 13th doesn't help much either!
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Hence the reason you're on here
Quite!
I went for that cigarette and wished I hadn't. We can't bring lighters through so a lot get left on a little ledge in the outside smoking area for staff to use. I picked one up, lit it and got a 6 inch burst of flame that singed the end of my nose!
Then I had to fight my way back through the Security Control which is teeming with hundreds of families, kids, pushchairs and the like getting in the way. I'd forgotten it's the start of the october school holidays and the joint is jumping!
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F*** sake there's petty and there's petty, but that one takes the biscuit Kilt.
My colleague is breathing too noisily
I suppose you have to be here to appreciate how ear-screechingly annoying it is!
Edit: I should also add that he can blether for Scotland. He hasn't shut up for the past half hour bleating on about Peter Kay and last night's comedy programmes, literally repeating some sketches line for line in his droning, whining, nasally loud voice.!
I'm trying to do some complicated statistical work here ya fat, lazy p***k! Shut the f**k UP!
I think it's time for a cigarette break before I punch him!
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It's really quiet here at the moment and all I can hear is a colleague wheezing and whistling like an asthmatic walrus!
It's SO annoying! But I can hardly shout at him 'STOP FECKIN BREATHING' can I?! 0 -
.....and corduroy is so this season.
But corduroy IS cool.....
Corduroy
And now I've kissed you, I'll show you how I've missed you
Before you even say a word, I already heard
No, someone told me, but don't speak now just hold me
You wandered up a cul-de-sac, and now you've come back
So did you leave him? I'm sure you didn't deceive him
Just the same you're here today, wanting to stay
Have I upset you? Well I tried hard to forget you
Now you say "Look, I came, let's try again..."
I'll make you laugh, when you see this photograph
It's not from that day, I threw all those away
Its just some boy, probably dressed in corduroy
He grew up fast, but you've not changed at all
How can I trust you? No, I'm not trying to rush you
But I was here when you ran; I don't think I can
I won't desert her and I'm not about to hurt her
I worshipped you once before, and you slammed the door
I'll make you laugh, when you see this photograph
It's not from that day, I threw all those away
Its just some boy, probably dressed in corduroy
He grew up fast, but you've not changed at all
B)
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Trinny and Susannah.
Just f**k 'em, eh?
Yes Please!
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There ye go Kilt
Well thanks a lot! 0 -
Losing your hearing as you get older.
I could have sworn my boss had said 'If Meryl Streep or Playstation phone get me or my colleague'.
What he ACTUALLY said was 'If Mill Street Police Station phone get me or my colleague'
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FFS, that's scraping the barrel for a torture method and where the fcuks the 666 spawn of devil smiley?
Will this do.....?
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First Scotrail phone operator service
Me - Hi there, can you tell the train times from Falkirk High to Glasgow today from 5pm please?
Him - Right Falkirk High to where?
Me - Glasgow Queen Street
Him - What day are you travelling?
Me - Erm... today!
Him - What time are you travelling?
Me - 5pm!!
Jeezo!!!
National Rail Enquiries aren't much better...
OPERATOR (at some desk in Mumbai): Hello, where you travelling from?
ME: Drumchapel
OP: One moment please.....
OP: I can't find it, can you spell please?
ME: D-R-U-M-C-H-A-P-E-L
OP: B?
ME: No, D for Delta
OP: One moment please.....
OP: Brum...?
ME: No, DRUMchapel. It's in Glasgow, that's in SCOTLAND.
OP: Sorry, I can't find that station
ME: Just forget it, it's quicker to walk there and find out myself!
Fuxake!
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Simple answer is to stop buying them games until they've learned to tidy them up after themselves.
Pffft! Ahh-harr-har! Aye, right!
It is SO obvious you've never been a parent! 0 -
This is more tragic than petty but one of my colleagues' husband suffered a massive brain haemorrage on Wednesday night. Last night, doctors unplugged his life support system but he kept on breathing. He's just died now - and she's already pregnant with their second child.
And I thought I had problems!
Edited for clicking on a wholly inappropriate smiley by mistake!
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Council Tax bills that you get landed with that were supposed to have been paid by your partner but weren't and land on your doorstep without warning!
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Coming back to work after 5 days off!
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I need chocolate and a hug!
Best I could do at short notice!
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Renfrewshire Council digging up half of Renfrew and basically buggering up the bus routes.
Had to walk up to the stop after the war memorial this morning as all the stops from the ferry up are closed. And we were packed in like sardines when the bus eventually came - and in this weather too! The inside of the bus was like a steamie! 0 -
the wife, petty and get's on my nerves
(probably been done, but true nonetheless)
There's a joke in there somewhere.....
But what is it with today? There's me pollymac and Monster all committing marital suicide!
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Too late!
Aw feck, poor Monster!
There speaks the voice of...0
Our Mess Room now smells like North Shields Fish Quay on a hot summers afternoon!* 
Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
New pair of trousers on today. The old pair had a shallow back pocket and my key wallet slipped comfortably round to the side of my thigh when I sat down. I didn't realise the new pair had deeper back pockets with the result that I got the whole bunch up my arse-cleft when I sat down!
Ouchy! 