Vanquinho.

Must admit I was all over this status when I broke up with my ex last year. The attention on the status itself mattered not, I was more interested in making the cue to let the dirties know I was back in the game and needing them again. Advice: Never fully push your dirties out of your life if you get into a monogamous relationship, you never know when you'll be after them again!

Kellyanne Sjay Kerr, naw. Just f*cking naw. Sometimes you read the drivel posted in this thread and you hink tae yersell "I cannae f*cking read this pish" in a rhetorical way whereby, with a little effort, you could actually decipher it. But see this? See this Kellyanne character? I genuinely cannot figure out what it's trying to communicate to us.

I don't "fall" for clickbait, I just don't give a f**k. Went to primary school with her and thankfully have never seen her since. The meltdowns provide some entertainment, but there is a plethora of reposts of these fucking "inspirational" quotes. It's a tug of war over the delete button.

These f*ckhole pages have adopted the tactics of the mainstream media, using exaggerated headlines to sell copies (get c*nts to click the link). Almost every "article" turns out to be an anti-climax.

"ok dokey lemon Squeezy" :lol:

It's aww kickin' oaf, lads.. Dunno why I'm bothering to cover the surnames, I really don't give a f**k about it.

Plot twist: that's a guy.

A strong 2 days after getting together... Then I realised I am the only fucker from primary school that accepted the junkie witch's friend request. She has some proper weird outbursts though, so will be keeping it around.

"I have a date tonight with my bed. We're totally gonna sleep together" F*ck off c*nto.

I just hope this guy isn't another Eric Djemba-Djemba, Shefki Kuqi etc

I KNOW, RIGHT? Seriously though, that lassy is perfectly normal apart from that, absolutely nothing untoward posted by her until this. Grim as f**k. I think the picture must have been taken not long after birth, as when asked about the cord, to avoid confusion, she then posted another picture of what the cord looks like nowadays. So yes, she has in fact kept the fucking cord and will probably show it to that child one day and permanently scar the little b*****d's mind. Let's not post that here though

" "2 years ago tomorrow this cord was cut but the bond could never be separated. My beautiful baby is going to be 2 :/ where's the time gone? I'll have a 3 year old and a 2 year old and I've loved every second of it!!!

My favourite recent post was from a young girl whose mum was my cousin's "ex-best friend." She went on a wee tirade because my cousin (a 40-year-old woman) shagged her ex-best friend's 19-year-old son and then sneaked through to Edinburgh to stay with my mum for a week or two to let the heat die down, expecting no one to find out. Wee slag took the post down though, gutted at that, especially due to the fact that after about 60 comments from people expressing emotions ranging from digust to indifference to the legal quoters, I posted a comment whihc took the c**t out of and baited pretty much every resident of that particular toon. I was miffed at this deletion. West Lothian, always good for laughing at moron relatives.

I tried to hear what they were saying, sounded like a different language to me. Either that or they were just Scouse.

Seen that as well mate. Pretty horrific stuff, I can only hope he deserved the beating and it wasn't a random act of violence.

I wouldn't. I'd genuinely do terrible things to the person responsible for hurting a pet of mine in such a manner, probably leaving him/her in terrible agony for an indefinate amount of time before allowing them to suffer the same fate as they had inflicted upon my pet. Whether it's right or wrong is of no consequence, I simply don't care, they would suffer immensely.

Speaking of Limmy, I saw this for the first time recently and it has me in bits every time.

Malolsians.

Whole life tariff seems a bit harsh to me, not something I'd try to impose upon anyone. I prefer my pay as you go deal, no commitment, can escape at any time.

Probably been asked before but I don't have time to trawl through 29 pages this morning What is the difference between these bets?: Handicap: Roma +1 @ 1/150 Double Chance: Roma Or Draw @ 1/40 On the face of it they seem like exactly the same bet but with a huge difference in odds. I've seen many more games (the vast majority actually) with differing odds in similar markets, but with a much smaller difference (ie 2/7 on the handicap and 1/3 on the double chance), with the double chance usually having the better odds. I feel that I'm missing something obvious

58 retweets so far for my Thatcher tweet which in all honesty wasn't THAT funny to be honest.. https://twitter.com/NandoWoods/status/321260696971120640 [EDITED FOR BEING AN ABBREVIATING WEE C*NT]

I never tire of reading through this thread every time it's bumped after a few months of neglect.

Irvine Welsh follows me and every time he retweets my shite Hibs banter I end up with billions of new Hibby followers. The gadgey's a class act and a top skagheed.

She joke wen she wont, she joke wen she wooont, BanjoMiley, she joke wen see wont *singing*