Miguel Sanchez

Spain got robbed.

Told you Finland were shite.

I like how Graham is tacitly saying Portugal was shite every time they get points.

Need to start watching Swiss telly.

Need to start watching Armenian telly.

Need to watch some Sammarese television.

hahahahaahahahahaha

I hadn't seen the tackle. I think it might be the fastest slide I've ever seen. What are you watching Kenneth.

Ireland the clear highlight. 12 points from everyone please.

Austria coming to you live from 1994.

Do you like anything?

Acceptable.

The kids do not say DVD nowadays.

17, aye?

There's always a solo with an instrument that can't carry a solo.

Very strong "I like the playstation do you like the playstation" vibes from this entire concept

There's a lot to be said for art reflecting the society which births it. Europe appears to be having a sad, minus the bits that are on high quality psychedelics.

I know you're more into Eurovision than I am but to my mind there are a good half dozen of these songs every year.

The sort of thing I think is great but usually ends up with 28 points.

The most memorable bit of this performance - mainly because I'm subconsciously trying to block out all the homoeroticism - is the boys on the side holding themselves up on those bars on the walls. Song's shite and he's one of the most annoying looking people ever.

Quite.

A forensically bald man here. Remarkable.

Easily best and most arousing performance so far.