ICTChris
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Posts posted by ICTChris
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That sort of humour really doesn't cut the mustard. You've got a lot to ketchup on if you're under the impression that it does. Just lettuce read the thread in peace, eh?
I do not relish reading these puns.
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Almost! He was only 17, I felt old.
Careful now, you'll end up in jail like that burd off of Hollyoaks, getting chibbed by a lifer on teh nonces wing. Of Chester Jail
Not to mention the "Squirrel Pox" virus.We all know how you picked up that one RiG
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Well, no, I did have someone drooling over me last night, but it wasn't RiG.
Is someone drooling over you a good thing? Were they literally salivating onto you, UI hope you have cleaned it off. If this was the case, probably best it wasn't RiG as you would have required vaccination against the clap, gout and bird flu.
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RiG and SaintSam
I wouldn't have thought Perth's premier snob would've gone for a Culloden mink like the RiGger but there you go.
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People with beards never really look neat or clean. There is always the suspcion that they live in a nest in a park somewhere and wash in a stream.
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I'm in full agreement. In fact I think people who can utilise "swearies" in imaginative ways are often brighter than their more sober counterparts.
Away and c**t yourself fucknut.
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People telling me to 'cheer up' or 'smile'.
No.
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I once spoke to Tony Benn about the efficacy of one day strikes and he imparted a good bit of wisdom, 'You have a greater voice being a part of the whole than you do being a lone voice on the outside'.
Good advice if it wasn't for the fact that Comrade Wedgie has spent the best part of the last 20 years as a lone voice on the outside.
My dad was a union organiser for the NUJ and he said that the journalists never gave anyone any trouble but the printers would go on strike if one of them got a warning for turning up pished.
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I am in the process of putting the following albums onto my MP3 player
Amy Winehouse, Back to Black
Talking Heads, Stop Making Sense
Queens of the Stone Age, Songs for the Deaf
Manic Street Preachers, Lipstick Traces
Anyone got any good sites to download some tunes? I'm looking for X-Press 2, Lazy.
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I don't think my work will allow me to work reduced hours when I go to University.
Means I could be looking for a new job fairly soon...
What line of work are you in?
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Frank McCourt - Teacher Man. Quite funny, and reassuring to know he felt at the beginning of his teaching career like I feel at the moment.
What's that about, might buy it for the new teacher in my life.
I am currently reading Unforgivable Blackness, a biography of Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight champion of the world. I am just over halfway through, the racism of those days (1900s) was unbelievable.
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What is this HowardHughes.com?
personally I just piss all over my hands, the floor, the toilet seat, the door handle, the sink, the paper towels, the mirrors and anyone else in the toilet with me. best option.
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My itinary this weekend:
- Tell my boss in the next ten minutes I'm handing my notice in and leaving in a week
- Pack away all my possessions into boxes
- Get a bus out to Sighthill (tin hat on) and pick up a van
- Drive van to flat, load in massive dressing table
- Drive van to future mother-in-laws house, unload and put away huge dressing table
- Drive van and future mother-in-law to flat, load up boxes
- Drive to new flat, unpack boxes, arrnage possessions.
I have a sneaky feeling I may be back on teh fags by the end of this weekend, I'll probably be found in the Hibbee bar that is now my local comatose on Sunday morning.
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Went to see Apocalypto last night. Don't know how historically accurate it is, apparently many scholars of indigenous American civilisations have criticised it, but as a film I thought it worked very well. The main character, jaguar Paw, village is attacked by a rival tribe who destroy their homes and take them prisoner. The villagers are then taken on a journey through various Mayan lands until they arrive at a city, who inhabitants seem to be afflicted by drought, failing crops and disease. The film then deals with their fate and Jaguar Paws attempts to escapte back to his family.
It does feature some pretty sickening violence (human sacrifice, heads being caved in with clubs etc) but I didn't think it was excessive. I thought the portrayal of the 'dying civilisation' of the city was very clever - it made me think of the last days of Rome, with the decadence and reliance on pagan religion as people died.
I'd give it 8/10.
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Im not sure how serious a nag this is, but for the first time in my life I saw a shooting star. I was walking the dog and its a beautiful clear night out there....and I saw it whooshing across the sky sparking out light as it flew.
Being of the superstitious type, I instantly made a wish, knowing from years of repeatedly watching moonwalker that it always comes true....so I made one of those soppy romantic wishes that you do when you really fancy someone. Unfortunately I said the wrong girls name.
My one opportunity (I tried and failed with conventional methods), and the wrong girl came to mind! Bah!SOrry but
:lol: My nag is Lemsip. Remember those adverts for Lemsip where some burd would drink a mug of the stuff and act as though she thought it was lovely? What a kload of absolute pish, the stuff tastes like yaks piss after a yak stag night.
I also think that drinking it has given me severe stomach pains. Fucking Lemsip.
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That is harsh. Could they not have let you make one in the police station?
Last time they let him in he had a poo with the lid down so he is now ASBO'd.
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It's my sister's birthday today and we sent her a card and a voucher-card thingy from Topshop. We sent them in separate envelopes. She texted me today to say thanks for the card, but why did you send an empty envelope as well?
Some thieving postal worker's clearly just nicked the vouchers and then had the audacity to actually still send the envelope! Cheeky c**t!
That's fucking shocking but
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I think I might steal SaintSam's car. I would then switch the plates and take it on a round the world trip, posting pictures on P&B of it in different places - India, Kashmir, Vietnam, Dagenham.
It would without doubt be the best thread ever, excluding teh badger thread, the free MP3 thread and the Welsh Hen Night thread.
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I've just finished the book, does anyone know how much it and the film differ?
Almost completely, apparently.
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I watched the Bourne Identity on DVD last night, excellent film 9/10
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I think Jammy should change his user name to Bobby Sands in recognition of his hunger strike.
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Hear! Hear!
Problem is he'd probably forget where he started and never get back.
Think we should start a Live Aid Type Event to help Jammy and other students caught out in this and other similar terrible predicaments?
Students - don't you just feel so sorry for them?
I was a student in Stirling, did I leave a traffic cone in your front garden or pish on your geraniums at some point? Sorry if I did.
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I am at University and the cafeteria in this building is shut due to exams being held in there as it is a large room. I decided therefore to get something from the vending machines as i am starving. It was then i realised that i have no change on me whatsoever. I need to do an essay so i'm going to be in University for some time today and am faced with the choice of enduring my hunger or walking the 7 minutes to the other building in the freezing cold for food. Then having to walk back again.
Why not look out for a weaker looking student who obviously has a packed lunch and mug them?
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Its good that whippersnappers and ankle biters are appreciating good 70s music. B)
Here I wouldn't so much bite your ankels as saw your legs off and suck the ligaments from your joints.
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My one opportunity (I tried and failed with conventional methods), and the wrong girl came to mind! Bah!
Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
These jokes are all shite. Big Mac.